Everyone knows how I feel about potty training. It’s not like I’m against it. It’s just that I don’t like to be told that NOW IS THE TIME and WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU and IF YOU DON’T DO IT NOW HE’LL BE CRAPPING HIS PANTS IN HIGH SCHOOL. He is 27 months, for heaven’s sake. The problem is, he is well on his way to potty training himself. I say, “Hey, have at it.”
Pampers decided that it would assist in the potty training process by coming up with this little gem. And I use the world “gem” in loose terms. His father decided to be helpful and pick a box of these up on a trip to BJ’s. Call it his contribution to the torture that is his mother’s obsession with The Boy’s lifetime pursuit of his personal control of his bodily functions.
Feel and Learn. “Feel” the raging diaper rash and “Learn” not to tell mom when you need to be changed because as bad as that diaper rash feels, those damn wipes she uses to scrape the poop of your backside are even worse.
Spiderman is supposedly the hook. “Even Spiderman puts his poops in the potty. Don’t you want to be a big boy like Spiderman?”
Unless you are 2 1/4 years old and you don’t have any clue about Spiderman. And to add insult to the injury to all that is Marvel Comics, your son has missed the boat and is for some reason calling him “Diaperman.”
E: Mama, I wear Diaperman.
K: Ethan, don’t you mean Spiderman? Either way, you still have an open sore on your bottom from your last run-in with Diaperman last week. I would rather you wear Elmo on your ass.
E: NO, MAMA! I WEAR DIAPERMAN.
K: Fine, whatever. Just put them on yourself.
And now Diaperman is on his ass. For clarification purposes, Diaperman is supposed to be up front, able to see the world. But he put it on himself and doesn’t seem to mind that his ass is hanging out the back of his diaper.
Sorry Toby. Although after last weekend’s ticket sales, you probably don’t even care if my kid is wearing Spiderman pull-ups on his head.Share on Facebook