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    So you want to know where you can find Mommy Needs Chocolate shirts AND the best cup of coffee in Fairfax County?

    February 9, 2008

    Mommy Needs Chocolate at the Pink PantryHow cute! Mommy Needs Chocolate and the Pink Pantry
    I know.  I KNOW.  I know.

    Available at The Pink Pantry in Historic Downtown Clifton for $25.  Don’t confuse that with just Clifton.  They get a little feisty over it. 

    Head on over there today for the Chinese New Year celebration for free tea, free food, you name it.  If you go over there today, tomorrow (Sunday the 10th!!!!) or Monday the 11th and tell them Mommy Needs a Cocktail sent you, you will get a free drink on me!  It’s coffee.  Don’t get too excited.  I mean, it’s really, really good coffee.  I just know you were hoping for cocktails. 

    And if you, or someone who loves you, buys a Mommy Needs Chocolate shirt between now and COB February 14 and says that Mommy Needs a Cocktail sent you, you’ll get something extra special.  Let’s just say that a mommy who needs chocolate should HAVE chocolate too.

    It’s so friggin’ cute.  Just go down there.  My shirts are hanging on the wall, for heaven’s sake!  The new ones.  Not available online. 

    The Pink Pantry
    7144 Main Street, Clifton, VA

    Saturdays and Sundays 9-5, Monday through Friday 6-6.

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    If I open up my present on VD and it’s one of my shirts, I hope he paid full price

    February 8, 2008

    We are sitting on the couch watching Die Hard 37 and I am meticulously tying pretty red ribbon with pink hearts around my pretty pink “Mommy Needs Chocolate” t-shirts. Are they available on the internet? No, they are not. They are not available on the internet because I can’t figure out how to put the damn pictures in the shopping cart. Trena has promised to come to my rescue but my to-do list has 9 million things ABOVE that project.

    So why am I tying pretty ribbon around pretty shirts? Because I’m gonna take them down to the Pink Pantry tomorrow for the Chinese New Year celebration/party. Can I just say that it helps when one of your girlfriend’s owns the best coffee shop in Fairfax County and that she sells your shirts there? Preschool, your money’s a-comin.’

    But I am starting to get a little insecure. Maybe the intended audience for the shirts–lazy men who have failed to shop for their wives for Valentine’s Day–won’t think they are cute. I decided to try them out on my husband when he asked what the hell I was doing.

    K: Do you think these are pretty?
    D: I guess.
    K: Yeah, but do you think they will sell?
    D: Probably.
    K: I mean, if you saw it in the coffee shop, would you buy it for me?
    D: Babe, are you saying you want me to go to the coffee shop tomorrow and buy a shirt for you?

    I swear to God. The things that come out of this man’s mouth. We got married? Seriously? Seriously. First in his class? Really?

    K: Yeah, Babe. That’s exactly what I’m saying. After I spend 10 minutes putting a bow and tag on each shirt, I want you to go to the coffee shop and buy one for me? HELLO??? NO. If I wanted a shirt, I think I could make my own. I am just asking if you, as a dopey guy, would actually contemplate purchasing this for your wife as a last minute-not your usual Valentine’s Day present?
    D: Actually, BABE. I was just sitting here thinking that it was a pretty cool present to buy. I mean. If your wife is a mom and if she likes chocolate.
    K: There are women who don’t like chocolate?
    D: And it actually looks kinda wrapped. So a guy wouldn’t have to do anything.
    K: THAT is the point.
    D: Yeah, I think they are going to sell.

    Yeah, me too.

    I’ll post a picture tomorrow. All the camera batteries are dead. Sheesh!

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    Are you gonna blog about this?

    October 2, 2007

    Um, is the Pope catholic?

    Lately, thanks to my foray into the world of selling my shirts at The Pink Pantry, and then putting the baby on the floor of The Pink Pantry so I can make myself a nice decaf Mocha latte behind the counter, I have been meeting lots of people.  When they ask who I am, I say “I’m Mommy Needs a Cocktail.” 

    “Oh,” they say, “you are the Shirt Lady?”

    “That, and I’m ‘Mommy Needs a Cocktail.”

    It seems to have the general population stumped.  I then have to wander into my little schtick about how I blog, and that I was blogging BEFORE I made t-shirts and how I did it all by my lonesome.  So when all the technicalities are out of the way, I get the inevitable, “are you gonna blog about me?”

    To be honest, you had better be interesting or at least be on the road to interesting far enough along so I can take creative license to get you all the way to funny.   Or you can just do something really stupid, like have the cable run through my yard so that when my fence guys knock on the door to apologize for accidentally cutting the cable that I DON’T have, you can then get really pissy at me for cutting your cable line that is running underground on MY property and for putting up a fence on the property line that just happens to be 25 feet from your house.  Your house that you put on the property line of your 6 acres that looked even bigger than 6 acres with those nice woods that are mine and are now comfortably located within, I believe you described to me as, “one of those ugly fences that I don’t want associated with MY property.”  You are going to make the blog for stupid crap like that.  The title to that post will most likely be “how to welcome the new folks to the neighborhood.”  You will probably also make the blog for the stupid crap your son does, like driving up the hill in reverse at 30 mph.  Never fear.  At 17, his 6 months driving experience means that we will all be safe around here. 

    Now, if you tell me a story about how your 10-year old son just discovered boobs and how you were so proud of his love of boobs that is not unlike your love of boobs, you are probably going to make it front and center on Mommy Needs a Cocktail. 

    It was nice meeting you today, Darren.  Love your coffee.

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    Yeah, I’m Blogging This T-shirt

    October 1, 2007

    Back in the days when my job was at its worst and we were taking a minimum of 2 coffee breaks a day, I used to make threats that one day I would just quit the livelihood and get a job as a barista at the Big Coffee Chain where everyone from the office went to hide/catch some sun outside in the spring.  What better revenge than making your boss’s venti mocha latte into a decaf.  That’ll teach you for not awarding me Employee of the Year when I had the best year.  Go sleep under your desk like the rest of the government employees.

    Fast forward 4 years later to today.  When, at 6:37 a.m., we got the crazy idea that, on the third day of my friend Danyelle’s coffee shop being open, we needed to drum up a little business for the new biz by running free coffee out to the people stuck on Main Street who were waiting for the train to pass. 

    A total of 45 seconds.  I don’t know what was scarier.  A woman coming out of the shadows in the pitch black with free coffee or the fact that I was wearing this

     Boy sold separately 

    Boy sold separately.

    Because if I were the person in the car driving down Main Street in what appears to be the middle of the night but is actually the morning and then someone came running out of the shadows brandishing what must be an arsenic-laced coffee and similarly poisoned tea cookies, I’d be hitting the power locks and putting a hand on Roscoe.  I mean, what kind of crazy person is giving out coffee for Free 99?

    And I would have missed out on the best cup of coffee within 30 miles. 

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