I have friends in low places. Friends who are able to eat at the White House. Probably because they are also eligible for the perfect attendance award and the “Most Likely to Not Talk When It’s All Said and Done Unless There Is A Book Deal In It” award. Me? I’m going for the food. Curious to know what a West Wing Grilled Cheese tastes like. I imagine it will be made with Havarti in lieu of yellow American cheese. The bread? Sourdough in lieu of Wonder Bread? I’m tempted to stop on the way and buy a camcorder. Cause I’m sure they allow random videoing in the White House. Can you imagine the first Mommy Needs a Cocktail vlog from the White House? Now that? That would be friggin’ hilarious.
I have had a bit of a wardrobe issue. Bless her heart, The Cake Lady offered some of her clothes. Did I mention that I never was a double zero? No. I went from 6X in the 5th grade to a junior’s 5. And that was many, MANY years ago. We didn’t even HAVE double zero when I was growing up. Well, we did, but we called it Limited Too. So I had to pass on her gracious offer but I do find myself curious about the possibilities of wearing the latest and greatest in Mommy Needs a Cocktail wear.
Could we just take a moment to pause while we wait for my mother’s heart to beat again? You’d think I said I was gonna wear a crop top, cut offs and flip flops into the Oval Office. I am sporting this hot belly ring but no need to have someone freak out in shock from seeing it and fall into the red button.
I sent a tweet to Kimberly and she sent one back that I could wear a black tank as long as I wore pearls. I don’t think she was serious. Zug? She said I should wear an “I’m blogging this” t-shirt. But do I really need to spend my lunch break explaining what a “blog” is? I don’t think so. I have tomato soup to conquer.
I’ll admit my friend was a little concerned. It’s not that he said the actual words, “and please don’t dress like a slob,” but I felt them hanging out there somewhere.
And what are the odds that I’ll be able to twitter? If there is a God, and he loves me, my signal will be clear come 1:15 p.m. on Thursday. Will be tweeting any and all lipstick marks on glasses and leaving some of my own for future DNA potential issues. I will do my best not to get arrested. Or thrown out. Because that is just tacky.
So what do you think? What should I wear to lunch? Oh, and we need a name for a sister parenting blog for PBS Parents that rolls out in a month. I know. What the hell? Who are these people and why are they giving me writing jobs? Don’t they know who I am? So give me fashion advice and/or your best idea for a name for a parenting blog written by three sisters for the icon of all our childhoods. I gotta go find a right shoe. All I keep finding is a left one.