In case you needed the link …. It’s the shirt on the baby crying hysterically. 

But onto more important things.  I’m freaking out.  Freaking out.  FREAKING OUT.

I have to write a review of Pride and Prejudice over at PBS.  I know.  I KNOW!!  FREAKING OUT.  What were they thinking?  Sure The Baby sleeps with my Jane Austen doll and The Boy climbs into my lap and asks me to read Jane Austen.  Other qualifications?  I hardly think that repeated viewings of Pride and Prejudice on Saturday mornings (Saturday morning cartoons for the single girl) constitute any experience in All Things Jane.  So The Husband asks me if I have decided on what to write.

K:  I’m going back and forth between a 2008 Match.com leading man comparison and saying Darcy was an ass.

Silence.

D:  Yeah, do you think that is such a good idea?
K:  But he was.  And Lizzie forgave him too soon.  And what about her?  Desperate to believe that oh-so-sad story Wickham was sporting.

Silence.

K:  She reminds me of someone.

Silence.

K:  Oh, no.
D:  Yes.
K:  I.  Am.  Lizzie.
D:  Yes.  Yes, you are.
K:  Crap.
D:  You know, you are quick to say Darcy was an ass.  There were class issues there that I think you just don’t understand.

Silence.Heavy, heavy silence.

Mr. Left Coast is telling me about class issues? Um, I don’t think HE dated the Choate alum. Thank you very much.

K: Don’t. Just don’t. Don’t lecture ME about Pride and Prejudice.
D: I’m just saying that maybe you should think before you call Darcy an ass. That’s all I’m saying.

Well, thank God that’s all he is saying….

Winners are up at Mommy Needs a Review for the Bloggy Giveaway AND the Daddy Maternity shirts. Go check it out.

I PROMISE to post again today, but I haven’t stopped for 2 seconds.  Go over right now to Mommy Needs a Review and give me your ideas for Maternity (and I guess non-maternity) Dad shirts.

I can bow to peer pressure….

I looked down at the caller i.d. today as I pulled the heater over to cure a shirt.

Damn her. Doesn’t she have a real job that she should be doing?

Marelle: Are you okay?
K: What the hell does that mean?
M: I mean, you haven’t posted the winners of the contest yet so I thought that maybe you were sick or injured or something was wrong with you.
K: Um, I go TWENTY HOURS A DAY. I’m making a shirt right now for Alison. Alison who has had to wait two weeks because God forbid American Apparel send me those damn navy blue long sleeve tees.
M: Oh, well I just was SURE that something had happened to you to explain why you are so late posting the results to the contest. I’m not saying that I’m gonna win or anything but I’m just saying…. I felt like it was my duty to call you. I mean, for the internet’s sake.
K: You are calling me for the internet’s sake?
M: Well, who else has your phone number?
K: So you are calling for all of the internet to see if I am okay since I failed to post the results to the contest yet? You are doing the internet a favor? Because you have my phone number?
M: Exactly. Call it my contribution. I mean, I’m sure everyone else is worried about you too.
K: Because all of my references to never getting sleep would suggest that I am slacking?
M: Well?
K: I’m hanging up now before I climb through the phone and kill you.
M: So you are gonna post those results now?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Exhausting, isn’t it? You kinda like it. Try printing up all these brilliant ideas you guys have? THAT is exhausting. And giving away all these prizes because everyone turned out to be more brilliant than I could have ever imagined? Exhausting. Finding a pregnant woman to model all the new shirts? Exhausting. As soon as I find that pregnant woman, you will be the first to see the new shirts. They are friggin’ hilarious.

But the party has just begun. NOW that we have all these clever maternity tees, I need your clever ideas for babies or kids. I cannot even imagine how exhausted I would be if I had to think up this crap myself. Isn’t it just easier to have a Virtual Brainstorming Party on the net so everyone can just sit around in front of his or her respective computer with his or her favorite beverage in hand, wearing his or her favorite slippers? Who are we kidding? Most of you are sitting at work, not working. You are only here because Fantasy Football sites have been blocked from your work computer. Seriously.

So you know the rules. There will be “up to three winners.” HA!!! We know how that goes. Picking out a husband was easier that picking three winners in that last contest. I’m guessing that will probably happen again this time but you never know. The top three winners get a $25 Amazon.com gift certificate and a little somethin’ somethin’ from Baby Brewing. Honorable mentions get a $25 gift certificate from Baby Brewing. At this rate, we may just have something you’ll like. As always, some random person will get the $25 amazon.com gift certificate and a little somethin, somethin’ from Baby Brewing. Every idea equals a random drawing entry. OMG, can I link to Baby Brewing one more time?

But there is something new for this contest. If you write a post about this and link to this post (which sends all your clever friends over here) you can win a $25 Amazon.com gift certificate and something from Baby Brewing. It’s a totally separate random drawing. So if only one of you writes about it, you win instantly.

So how do you play? Go on over here (gotta drive traffic over here somehow) and leave a comment with your clever ideas. Be sure let me know in the comments over there if you wrote a post about the contest so you can be entered for the separate prize too.

You have until Monday, December 10. Noon. ‘Cause if I actually want to burn any of the screens on Monday, I’m gonna need that early afternoon sun.

I guess you are gonna have to go on over here to find out.  Cheap, I know, but who really clicks through links these days?  Will you be quicker to click through if you knew that even if you DIDN’T win the Baby Brewing Bump Contest, you could win one of these?  Stop whining and click through.  It’s free crap, for heaven’s sake.  And it’s all in one place so when you come back here, you never again have to worry about being blindsided by a Dawn dishwashing detergent review.  Aren’t you glad?