I remember getting into the limo with The Husband after our wedding (okay, lifting The Husband’s legs into the limo) and thinking, “This was the BEST wedding I have EVER BEEN TO.”

Saturday night’s Mommy Needs a Cocktail Party?  It was so awesome, it just wasn’t right.  It was almost as fun as my wedding.

I showed up late because I was trying to find my car keys to give to The Husband.  I drove up the hill to the most gorgeous house with the most gorgeous view.  (I also saw a deer try to jump a fence and not clear the barbed wire, only to bounce back on the road.  That was odd).  We aren’t in Kansas anymore, Dorothy.  We are in Petroville.

I stepped into a Mommy Needs a Cocktail heaven.  MNAC was everywhere.  Kimberly is a mommy who needs a cocktail. And who knows how to create a pink Wonderland.
MNAC was on a cake, for heaven’s sake (which should now be mandatory for all MNAC parties–it was so cool).  I threw my crap on the table (sorry, Pache) and then Melissa, of Capitol Chocolate Fountain/Post Office fame arrived.  Tell me how often you send out a cheeky twitter and a month later 2 chocolate fountains are on the counter at your very first Mommy Needs a Cocktail Party.  Melissa kept telling people that she was sure I thought she was a stalker.  Let me just say that if you have a stalker, having a stalker who owns 38 chocolate fountains and makes homemade pink marshmallows to dip in the chocolate at your MNACP is the only kind of stalker to have.  We embraced as if we had known each other forever and then she proceeded to set up what became the focal point of the party.  The chocolate was so good I almost stuck my head in it.  She sells it online.  Go and buy some. 

Seriously.

Then the house was packed.  There were women everywhere.  DC Metro Moms?  Jazzercisers?  You name it.  People had brought tons of food and wine and there were cocktails everywhere.  Someone cracked open the Arbor Mist and it got a little crazy.  I’m just saying.  Lots of people brought stuff to give away and we had a raffle too.  I talked to so many fun women.  I ate too many items dipped in chocolate.  It was only when I looked at the clock on the microwave and read “11:38″ that my heart about stopped.  Kimberly was trudging past me and I grabbed her arm.

K:  How did you think this would go?
Kimberly:  To be honest?  I thought people would get bored at around 9:30. 
K: ME TOO!!!

Uh, no.  Because this party was a Mommy’s Night Out first and foremost, with kick ass stuff to buy.  It helped that Kimberly is the most amazing hostess ever.  And we had two chocolate fountains, for heaven’s sake. We raised $100 from sales to go to Vicky’s Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.  I sold “Underpaid Kept Woman” shirts, a creation of the original Underpaid Kept Woman herself, Susie Sunshine.  I sold “Mommy Needs a Latte” shirts and “Mommy Needs Chocolate” shirts and “Mommy Needs a Margarita” shirts.  I sold “Mommy Needs a Cocktail” Martini Toast tanks in cocktail shakers, just like the ones the celebrities got back at the Boom Boom Baby Room.   Hostess gift structuring went out the window because this party so exceeded anything I had ever imagined.  Kimberly ended up with practically one of every style (plus the Mommy Needs a Vacation tote for the hostess-only).  It was off the hook.  It was so much fun.

But the best part about it?  Everyone had carpooled.  Everyone was responsible.  I think everyone had a good time.  We talked about dreams and goals and travel and jobs.  We didn’t talk about kids and husbands.  It was refreshing.  Reinvigorating. 

It was just a really good time.  Wanna see how good? 

You should totally have a Mommy Needs a Cocktail Party.  Think about it.

The Virginia Wine Expo in Richmond was so incredibly off the hook, I can’t tell you. Sure I didn’t bring enough kids clothes (who knew) and Pache wanted to poke my eyes out every single time I sold something from the display (“If you keep selling the funny stuff from the DISPLAY, you won’t have any funny shirts LEFT!”) Which was utterly and completely true. But how can you deny a 7 month pregnant woman stuck with 5 drunks a little humor in the form of a designated driver shirt? Come on now. Girlfriend needs a little humor other than being stuck with the chick who yelled, “YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE AN AWESOME SHIRT? I’M HAVING TIGER WOODS BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Unless, of course, you are his wife. Oh, come on. It’s not even funny. But she said it right before she fell into the divider and almost took down a row of booths. That? Yeah, THAT was funny.

And the guy who came over and said, “Mommy needs a glass of wine? I don’t get it.”
You know, “Mommy Needs a Glass of Wine.”
“Nope. Don’t get it.”

Apparently he lives under a rock. And has no sisters with kids. Or female friends with kids. Or female coworkers with kids. Or neighbors with kids. Or has ever been to a Costco during suggestive-selling/taste-testing Saturday morning. Or has ever been to a mall. Or a post office. Or a grocery store. Dude has GOT to live in Clarendon.

Then there was the guy who said a) I had too many baby shirts and b) I needed a picture of a wine bottle opener and the words “I pull out.”  I tried to explain to him that since I sold maternity shirts, clearly the “pulling out” wasn’t effective.

My favorite has to be the girls who gushed on and on about the baby shirts to their boyfriends. It didn’t go over well. Actual conversation:

“Why are you talking about funny baby clothes? You don’t have a baby. We don’t have a baby. We aren’t married. We have only been dating for a month. Keep moving.”

About 10 times with only minor changes in wording.

I could NOT have done this without Pache on Saturday. We couldn’t sell the shirts fast enough. And then Rebecca was so cool that she offered to help me out on Sunday. It wasn’t as busy and it is a bit of a bummer being unable to drink at a wine fest because you are working, but it was still cool. Rebecca and I talked for hours and laughed so hard our sides hurt.  We ate a cheddar cheese ball.  It’s alway nice to hook up with fellow smart asses.

Next stop?  Think Pink.  Local and wanna come to Girls Night Out?  Email me and I’ll forward on the evite.

In two weeks, the Washington D.C. International Wine and Food Festival.  Come on by.  Or if you are local and want to help out at the booth, let me know.  I can always use an extra set of hands….

In case you needed the link …. It’s the shirt on the baby crying hysterically. 

But onto more important things.  I’m freaking out.  Freaking out.  FREAKING OUT.

I have to write a review of Pride and Prejudice over at PBS.  I know.  I KNOW!!  FREAKING OUT.  What were they thinking?  Sure The Baby sleeps with my Jane Austen doll and The Boy climbs into my lap and asks me to read Jane Austen.  Other qualifications?  I hardly think that repeated viewings of Pride and Prejudice on Saturday mornings (Saturday morning cartoons for the single girl) constitute any experience in All Things Jane.  So The Husband asks me if I have decided on what to write.

K:  I’m going back and forth between a 2008 Match.com leading man comparison and saying Darcy was an ass.

Silence.

D:  Yeah, do you think that is such a good idea?
K:  But he was.  And Lizzie forgave him too soon.  And what about her?  Desperate to believe that oh-so-sad story Wickham was sporting.

Silence.

K:  She reminds me of someone.

Silence.

K:  Oh, no.
D:  Yes.
K:  I.  Am.  Lizzie.
D:  Yes.  Yes, you are.
K:  Crap.
D:  You know, you are quick to say Darcy was an ass.  There were class issues there that I think you just don’t understand.

Silence.Heavy, heavy silence.

Mr. Left Coast is telling me about class issues? Um, I don’t think HE dated the Choate alum. Thank you very much.

K: Don’t. Just don’t. Don’t lecture ME about Pride and Prejudice.
D: I’m just saying that maybe you should think before you call Darcy an ass. That’s all I’m saying.

Well, thank God that’s all he is saying….

Winners are up at Mommy Needs a Review for the Bloggy Giveaway AND the Daddy Maternity shirts. Go check it out.

I know.  I’m out of control.  First it was a book.  Now it’s parties.  Hello, Internet.  Kristen is throwing spaghetti on a wall and keeping her eyes peeled to see what sticks.

Here it is.  How about hosting a Mommy Needs a Cocktail party at your house?  It’s like the Tupperware party of 2008.  Except it’s not plastic.  And not boring.  And there is alcohol involved.  So what happens?  You send out the Mommy Needs a Cocktail Party invite to all your friends.  I send you stuff.  Your friends come.  You all sit around, sipping cocktails.  Talking about anything BUT the children.  Your friends buy Mommy Needs a Cocktail shirts (and lots more MNAC related stuff).  You get free stuff.  Your friends buy a LOT of stuff.  You get A LOT of free stuff.  I send free stuff for you to give away.  You bake a chocolate cake so your friends will love you forever.  You pour yourself a signature Mommy Needs a Cocktail cocktail.  Everyone has a blast. 

You aren’t a cocktail girl?  Funny, we have Mommy Needs a Beer shirts and Mommy Needs a Glass of Wine shirts.  Chili and beer party?  Wine and Chocolate party?  And don’t tell anyone, but I’m getting ready to roll out Mommy Needs Chocolate, Mommy Needs a Margarita and Mommy Needs a Nanny.  Not like you can have a Nanny party, but you know what I’m saying.  So think it over.  It’s just a suggestion.  A friggin’ AWESOME suggestion.  I think I’m gonna have one myself.  Although frankly, right now, I NEED to have a Mommy Needs a Nanny party.

What do you say?  Email me at babybrewing at gmail dot com if it sounds like fun and you might want to do it. 

I am going to be number 800. The carnival has only been open for like 2 days. Go on over there. For the Fall Y’all Bloggy Giveaway, I spent 22 hours a day for 3 days entering everything. It was taking my OCD to a whole new level.

What am I giving away? A shirt. What else do I have to give away? Any shirt from Baby Brewing. Just go on over there and check all the shirts out.  Then come back here and leave a comment telling me what shirt you would get if you won.  I’ll pick a random winner on February 3rd around noonish. WOOHOO!!

Um, YUM!!! He may have mentioned that Drinking for Two (or three or five) was his life motto. That’s off the record, of course…