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    Take THAT, Martha Stewart

    October 28, 2009

    We are just going to pretend that last three months of silence never happened, shall we?

    OK, so I made this costume for K2 as part of my job and partly because my children watch Dinosaur Train incessantly. Whatever.
    The problem is, once I did this, I thought I could do anything. Like I’m the reincarnation of Coco Chanel or something. As Halloween is creeping up on us, I called The Husband with the bad news.

    K: I want to make The Closer a Halloween outfit.
    D: (Sigh)
    K: I’m serious. Don’t be all “sigh-y” on me.
    D: What are you going to make him?
    K: I don’t know. I was thinking a Pea in a Pod but all those costume patterns suck and just because I made one costume doesn’t mean I need to be all “I can whip up something better” right now. I should take it slow.
    D: So….
    K: How about a lamb? I found one on Martha Stewart. I expected to find 60 steps. Like when I tried to make that Martha Stewart Mile High Lemon Meringue Pie and I think she wanted you to grind your own wheat for the pie crust or something. So I was thinking her instructions would be something like that for the costume. You know, to include weaving your own fabric….
    D: Do the instructions call for going out and sheering two sheep to weave your fabric? Or would that be gathering the wool from two sheep by simply using a comb?
    K: That’s awesome. Wouldn’t that be awesome? I would totally do it.
    D: So what is it?
    K: It’s not that bad. It is only like 5 steps.

    I started to tell him and he did that Phone Glazed Over voice and I just hung up on him. Too bad he didn’t stick around for the part where I was gonna tell him the baby has to wear girl tights.

    That’ll teach him.

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    What’s a little candy among friends?

    November 1, 2007

    The Baby and The Boy

    Frankly, if someone was holding me by the neck, I don’t think I would be as cheery.  But then again, NO ONE is as cheery as The Baby. 

    Yes, ducks have blue legs since this duck mother was too cheap to go out and buy yellow pants to keep his fat little legs warm.  Who makes a costume that is like an oven but only covers the torso of a small child?  You can’t have a toasty kid with popsicle legs on Halloween night.  It ain’t right.

    The Boy decided he liked the “Halloween” thing.  We hid The Candy Factor til the last moment and when he found out, this is where he was when we walked to the neighborhood party…Dragon of Death

    Daddy missed the whole thing…neighborhood party…neighborhood hayride to trick or treat.  He was sad, in a, “I would have liked to have had three minutes worth of the experience” kind of way.  But Daddy had to be at his second job, so we can enjoy having lights ON in our house.  Thank you, Daddy.  We like light.  And heat, for that matter.

    He walked in the door five minutes after we got home to find The Boy sitting in a pile of candy.  Actually sitting in it.

    D:  You let him have all his candy?
    K:  Um, yeah. 
    D:  You let him have all his candy.
    K:  It’s Halloween.  How much can he possibly eat before we shut him down?
    D:  You let him have ALL his candy.
    K:  So this is what it feels like to be the fun parent?  I like it.  Who knew?

    Here’s a picture of The Boy showing you his lollipop.  The Baby is showing you, well, nothing.  It’s nice to see at the tender age of 8 months he is already copying his brother.  Great. 

    the halloween boys

    Can’t you just see them with a six pack in each hand 16 years from now?  of cheap beer, to add to the mortification?  Please note the glazed look on The Boy’s face that is clearly a result of that being his 7th lollipop.  I wonder how Dad would feel about The Boy’s Candy Breakfast?  Or Lunch?

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    Chicken, Dragon, it’s all the same

    October 30, 2007

    After The Great Halloween Outfit Argument of 2006, we got a little proactive this year. Not really proactive, per se. More like we bought the first two outfits we saw the first time we went into a retail establishment after the Halloween costumes were out. The Boy decided he was going to be a Dragon Tail which is actually a dragon. He, not unlike last year, put the outfit on in the middle of the store and went around biting people’s legs. I had to explain to him that dragons actually KISS people, not bite them.

    God I love two year olds. They will believe ANYTHING.

    I then casually threw a duck outfit on the counter by the register when my husband wasn’t looking. When he saw it, he got slightly annoyed.

    D: What is THAT?
    K: A duck.
    D: What????
    K: A duck. See the duck’s bill. Come on, don’t you think The Baby make a cute duck?
    D: As long as The Boy is a dragon I guess I can tolerate The Baby as a duck.

    Except that once The Boy found his old chicken costume, he has decided that it is going to be a foul, I mean fowl Halloween.

    He is insisting that he wear his chicken costume again. In fact, he has been wearing it for the last week. Just randomly.

    Oh, the squawking that’s gonna happen tomorrow night. Lord help me.

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    What happens at a party at Chateau Cookie?

    October 28, 2007

    The Video…

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