Oh. My. Gosh.
That’s all I should really say about last night’s Mommy Needs a Glass of Wine Event at the Winery at La Grange. Or maybe I should start from the beginning…
I called Melissa around 4:30 yesterday afternoon to see what the plan was. Because if you don’t have a plan, checking for one 2 hours before a party is an excellent time to make one.
M: I need to wash my hair. And don’t be tweeting or telling the rest of the Internet that.
K: I wouldn’t do that (frantically tweeting it). You are fine.
M: You don’t know that. I need to wash my hair.
K: I have a shirt for you. We’ll just shop from our personal store in the back of my truck. It’s not just a clean shirt, it’s a NEW shirt.
The power of persuation, she is my super power. Screw the hair, thirty minutes later we were on our way to drop off a chocolate fountain at someone’s wedding reception and then off to the party. Except after we dropped it off, she started bitching and moaning about her dirty head. Which, people, did not look dirty to me. But I guess your head is your personal issue. I started bitching about needing coffee.
M: Let’s just stop at Target and get a blow dryer.
K: And we are gonna go where with that? Are you gonna pick up a bottle of shampoo and then I’ll wash your hair in the sink at the vineyard? “Hi, we are here for the party. We’re just gonna go wash her hair and we’ll be RIGHT back?”
My super power of persuasion? Not as great as I thought it was. Because we find ourselves in the parking lot of a shopping center. Where there is a Hair Cuttery.
K: Dude. It costs like $12 to get your hair cut at Hair Cuttery. It has to be practically free to get your hair washed.
The Chocolate Fountain Fairy Godmother went in to bum a clean head at HC and I went into Starbucks to get us drinks. With her Starbucks card. I ordered a Skinny Mocha Triple Latte for me and a Triple Latte for her. Except I had never had a SML before and when I tasted it, it was vile. I walked back to Hair Cuttery and handed her the Skinny Mocha.
M: What’s this?
K: You’re gonna love it.
It took her about 30 minutes to realize that I had ordered it for myself, reviled it and pawned it off on her. All on her Starbuck’s card. She realized this after she came out of Hair Cuttery with a clean, but slightly funky blow out and she had driven us 11 miles past the vineyard because we couldn’t agree on directions. About two minutes later….
K: Thank God I got us triple shots. It’s clear we are going to need them.
There was what can only be described as a very. pregnant. pause.
M: This is a triple shot? Tell me this doesn’t have three shots. (pointing to her near empty coffee cup).
K: Hell, yeah, it does.
M: You didn’t get me three shots.
K: You need to stay awake?
M: I haven’t told you I have a heart arrhythmia? I wonder how my cardiologist will feel about coming to the ER tonight….
Internet. Am I the only person who thinks this information would have been helpful BEFORE I went into Starbuck’s? Because I am looking to have a good time and the ER does not fit into that equation. If I wanted to go to the ER, I would have just stayed home with the children for the evening.
She was fine. Big fat baby. What’s a little heart racing? We showed up at the vineyard late but we were laughing so hard tears were streaming down our cheeks. Her friend Barb came to help us and she was the best sales person I have ever had. And then Kimberly showed up, which meant the party had arrived. Fellow DC Metro Mom Blogger Andrea came with her friends and I got to meet all sorts of new people (HI, ELIZABETH AND AMY!!). I drank wine, ate amazing food, scarfed down a pound of strawberries dipped in the chocolate fountain and there was an incident with a woman eating our “for sale” Mommy Needs Chocolate bars. CFFG wore the Cocktail girl robe around all night and there are rumors of pictures of her on the picnic table sporting the martini glass.
I promise I shall never again forget my camera. Or maybe some things are better left undocumented…