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    Totally and completely random crap

    January 24, 2008

    NO, I didn’t pick winners from the contest.  Stop bugging me.  I’m busy sitting around alphabetizing the canned goods in my kitchen.  I’ll get to it.  I promise.

    What the hell is up with dog?  Could someone explain to me why I just walked into my living room and there was the dog, with his head resting comfortably on a throw pillow that clearly had been THROWN on the ground?  He didn’t even get up.  Two words for you.  Shock collar.

    Twitter can be harmful to your health.  I know this from nearly sideswiping a car on the road today.  It’s okay, because it was only a police car.  We’re fine.

    Twitter can bite you in the ass.  When you write really crappy things about the idiot in front of you that CANNOT, if his life depended on it, use the damn. A.P.C. machine at the post office, you might want to a) pay attention to where that damn kid of yours has wandered off, 2) cover up The Baby’s feet before you have to hear about how horrible a mother you are, and Third) remain as quiet as possible.  We have people manning the desks, people, for those of you who CANNOT figure out whether you are sending a package or a BOX.  I need you to stand in line so I don’t have to wait for you to figure out whether your card is debit or credit.  But what happens is, by the time it’s your turn and there is smoke visibly pouring from your ears and The Boy is now in line ACROSS the post office waiting to get a passport (even though he already HAS one), you just may catch the attention of the woman behind you.  Who is clever enough to put your return mailing address together with your website address.  Who will then email you and tell you how funny your twitter was about the postal-challenged.

    And then you will realize how small the world is.  Or how big your mouth is.  Either one.  You be the judge.

    Hi, Melissa!!!  It was nice meeting you too.  Sorry that The Boy was wearing his Thomas the Train slippers and The Baby had no shoes on in the 30 degree temps.  I’m really a better mother.  But you might want to steer clear of the PO at quarter to six again.  I’m just saying.   

    Oh, and Baby Brewing was featured on Celebrity Baby Blog.  I’m giving away THE WHOLE FREAKING STORE over there so feel free to go and enter the contest.  And if you win and I know you, I still may even send the stuff to you.  Maybe.  Go enter.  Really.  It’s not difficult and it’s a popularity contest.  And apparently Chachi is wearing one of my shirts around town.  He had to have stolen it from Chris Noth, but you never know….

    add to sk*rt