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    Mommy Needs a Margarita

    July 19, 2008

    Last night we had the party at Ruby Something. I can’t remember but isn’t Ruby Tuesdays so we were good.

    Hi, my name is Kristen and I am OLD.

    The party was in this club. A club. Did I mention I was in a club? I think the last time I was in a club was when I lived on a Caribbean island and I drank more Heineken than any one person should ever consume. The music started to pump and I’ll be honest, I thought my ear drums were going to burst. I walked by Chris and said, “Hey.” She yelled back, “WHAT???????” Just like that. Her voice carries well. I had an entire conversation with Elaine before we realized that we were having two very separate conversations. Kinda like someone is talking about dinner plans and the other person is pouring their heart out about today being the anniversary of the death of their childhood pet.

    Do you know those episodes in CSI when the music is pumping and there are 40 eighteen year old girls gyrating on the dance floor and then they flash to someone getting stabbed in the bathroom but you can’t hear them scream because all you can hear is the “BUMBUMBUM” from the bass? Then they flash back to the dance floor? Then the stabbing? Then the dance floor? And two people are trying to talk at the bar and they have to resort to sign language to have a conversation? It was CSI. I did NOT go to the bathroom.

    Then I went to Maggie’s party with Lindsay where we sat on a couch because I was tired because it was already 10:00 p.m. until Krystyn made us dance. Excessively. Like prom. The only thing missing was Def Leppard. Maggie is brilliant. All the food was orange. Parties will come and go but years from now we will say, and remember that time we went to Maggie Mason’s party and all the food was orange? I mean it was really fun, but there was even candy corn. Which is a food violation as you are only allowed to eat candy corn between October 1 and the 31st. Maybe on November 1, but probably not. Seriously.

    I was the person whose hands looked like this. Covered in PBS Supersisters swag. Each color is a different super power (the brilliantly creative idea of Supersisters Patience). According to Zug’s picture, I apparently I have ALL the superpowers.

    Mood Rings

    But the big news is, lots of new stuff went up on Baby Brewing last night, thanks to the amazing Heather Sanders. Daddy Needs a Beer

    This shirt is timely. It’s timely because I called my house this morning and my husband is having a nervous breakdown. He said those words I have been longing to hear.

    “I bought you a brand new car and got the air conditioner in the house fixed.’

    No, wait. That’s my fantasy. He did one even better.

    “You were right.”


    “This job is ALL THE TIME.”

    Bless his heart. And I mean that in the nice Southern way. Apparently there was this incident involving biting and furniture and a rumble and my husband remembers, yet again, why this shirt means so much to me….

    Mommy Needs a Margarita

    Don’t forget we are having a big sale at Just use the code blogher08 to get 25% off your entire order. If you are around Blogher today, I’ll be at the swap meet selling my wears for INSANELY reduced prices. Then I’ll be speaking at the There’s More to Monetization than Advertising panel with several other amazing women, where I’ll be talking about ALL OF YOU AND HOW YOU TURNED THIS BUSINESS INTO A COMMUNITY. I’ll be recycling my purple club dress from last night because it was so fantastic, it must be worn again. And that necklace, Miss America/Cake Lady? I had two fashion editors compliment me on it. I have officially arrived.

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    Here’s the shirt and everything at Baby Brewing is 25% off!

    July 18, 2008

    Crazy After mocking Zug about that mop of hers, Apparently I lost my brush. In 1979. Wondering what that shirt says?I Heart Guy In case you were wondering, Guy thought it was hilarious. And 10 people wanted to buy it directly from my body. Finally, if you are at Blogher, be sure to come and get one of these fabulous laptops stickers from me. SupersistersSupersisters on PBS? It’s happening very, very soon. We have kicking mood ring swag and I have rocking Mommy Needs a Cocktail Shakers as my personal swag.

    If you can’t find me, you can always find me at the Blogher Swap Meet tomorrow at lunch time. I’ll have the cocktail shakers and rings and everything!! Or you can come to my session and I’ll have some there. There are a limited number so get them while you can!

    Not here? You can get the same great fabulous Blogher discount rates at Baby Brewing with the code blogher08 (good through July 31). If you leave the word “cocktail” in the comments on your order, I’ll send you one of the awesome cocktail shakers. If you want to wait until tomorrow, Mommy Needs Chocolate, a Vacation, Nanny and Margarita will be up and live on the site.

    all pictures by the great Hyku, Josh Hartlett.

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    I had complete and utter faith that this man can care for my children while I’m gone

    July 15, 2008

    Then I went to mow the lawn last night.

    Kristen, why were you mowing the lawn last night?

    Because, Internet, this man will not stop until I sweat blood before I get on the Virgin flight on Thursday morning at oh-dark-thirty. He knows I owe him for those four days of freedom, also known as Blogher. But the man is going to make me pay until the bitter end. Do NOT be surprised if you see pictures of me rerunning the brake lines on his truck before Thursday.

    At least he’s subtle about it.

    “Hey, Baby, we are going camping.”


    So after YESTERDAY, I went outside and mowed the lawn when my husband got home from work. He said he would, and I quote, “watch the kids.” Pretty easy to do if one is in a backpack, right?

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