I guess you are gonna have to go on over here to find out.  Cheap, I know, but who really clicks through links these days?  Will you be quicker to click through if you knew that even if you DIDN’T win the Baby Brewing Bump Contest, you could win one of these?  Stop whining and click through.  It’s free crap, for heaven’s sake.  And it’s all in one place so when you come back here, you never again have to worry about being blindsided by a Dawn dishwashing detergent review.  Aren’t you glad?

First of all, I love every single one of you. You people over there in the back? Yeah, you. You clever people who have entered the contest? I really, really love you. You are very clever and funny and I really like what you have done with your hair. It’s very Katie Holmes-Cruise. No, wait. That’s MY new haircut.

Everything is piling up now. I just got invited to this crazy gig in L.A. in January (hello, my L.A. friends!!!) I’m getting ready to launch a new blog (don’t get excited. OK, you can get excited). In fact, I’m going to give away a free camera in honor of the launch so maybe you SHOULD get excited. Right now you are thinking, “she’s giving away a camera and I have been working my ass off for an Amazon.com gift card? Yes, that’s right. Keep working or I won’t give away the camera. You, over there, sitting in front of your computer screen. That Amazon.com gift certificate can most easily be regifted for your snotty sister-in-law. Think about it.  Not a dime out of your pocket.

So put your thinking caps on.  For those of you who are generally offended by my wares, now is your time to clean up the joint a little.  Get cracking.

I have to go “pay my husband back” for watching the kids all night while I worked.  It’s the least I can do.

Hello, my Internet. In case you haven’t noticed, I have been relying HEAVILY on you for your clever ideas because I think the last of my good ideas was killed as a result of the toxic fumes of the carpet cleaner. Or maybe it was just the toxic fumes of the pee. Who knows?
You came up with those great ideas for the travel mugs. Now I need some ideas for maternity shirts. The next one up is “I’ll take my epidural in the parking lot, thank you very much” (thanks, Pache!) but other than that, we got nothing going on over here. Since you all are so clever (and pretty–you know you are pretty!), we are giving away free stuff again in hopes that your brilliance will help jump start my fried brain.

There will be MULTIPLE WINNERS!!!!

I, too, am astounded. Up to three people will win a $25 Amazon gift certificate (just in time to buy your self something for the holidays–forget the rest of those people on your list) and something free from Baby Brewing. I say up to three winners because I need three new shirts. If two of your ideas are picked, you get two gift certificates and TWO things from Baby Brewing. Aren’t you just hoping you are REALLY clever?
There’s more. What if everything sucks and no one wins? I’m positive this could never happen but who knows? To combat that, there will also be a random winner too! The random winner will get a $25 Amazon gift certificate and something free from Baby Brewing. So even if you’ve got nothin’ too, you can still win by entering your lame idea. Each idea will count towards the random drawing. So if you have ten great ideas, you can put them all in one comment and still have 10 chances to win.

But WAIT!!! There is even more. It boggles the mind. I know. If you BLOG about this contest with a link back to Mommy Needs a Cocktail AND The Baby Brewing Bump Contest, you get yet ANOTHER entry into the random drawing. Just let me know in the comments when you blog about it so I can add your name to the random list.

OMG, I hope I am not the only person overwhelmed with the excitement and possibilities here. I have to go lie down now to recover. It’s too much. It really is.

Oh, and you have until next Wednesday night, November 21 at 9:00 p.m. I’ll take a timeout from making Green Bean Supreme to pick the winners.