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    I’m One Big Parent-Teacher Conference Waiting to Happen

    September 26, 2012

    I generally don’t beat myself up over my parenting choices. You are welcome to put the Little Tykes Car on the trampoline and then bounce your brother in it until someone throws up. I’ve given you ample warning that it’s GOING TO HAPPEN and you still think it’s a good idea. Test out that hypothesis of yours already. I’ll just stand here with a coffee in one hand and a fresh shirt that will fit any of you that vomit upon yourself. Rather than dwelling on my less-than-mainstream parenting, I spend more time beating myself up for important things like the chick who started a Mommy Needs a Beer fan page on Facebook and got 150,000 likes in 2 months. Ah, opportunity lost.

    So tonight as Ethan was making chocolate chip cookies, he glanced over at me casually.

    E: So… I got a 95 on my quiz today.
    K: That’s good.
    E: Well, I would have gotten them all right except I answered a question that was right but the computer told me it was wrong. SOOOO dumb.
    K: What question?
    E: It’s so stupid. You won’t believe it. The question was “I can use the stove by myself” and of course, I answered “yes.”
    K: You didn’t.
    E: I DO.
    K: I meant “you didn’t answer ‘yes.’”
    E: I DO USE THE STOVE BY MYSELF.
    K: Ethan, the rest of the world doesn’t let a 7-year-old have her top secret chocolate chip cookie recipe and then let him bake cookies. And you were, in fact, “under the supervision of an adult while operating the stove.” (**LAWYERED**)
    E: No, I wasn’t. You were sleeping in bed.
    K: That was like three weeks ago. But I was standing right here tonight.
    E: Whatever. Are you telling me I should lie?
    K: ….
    E: Mom?
    K: I’m telling you that the answer that grown ups want to hear is that you were “operating a stove under the supervision of an adult.” I was in the house. That constitutes supervision.
    E: SOOOO dumb.

    Crossing my fingers that the safety quiz never says “I can brew beer by myself.” Please, Lord.

    6 Comments »

    1. Elizabeth @ Table for Five says:

      Oh no! I’m impressed that he can bake cookies – Kaitlyn will be 7 in November and she can only make toast so far :)

      September 26th, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    2. indigo says:

      this. is. exactly. what. i. needed. to. read.

      tho my son – almost 8 – can’t get his own bowl of cereal…

      i so admire your parenting style! yes!!!

      September 26th, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    3. Kate says:

      So I hear I might have the same problem with a certain states drivers test, so thank you for the timely advice! Ha!
      Also, you have actual beer to brew, not writing and reposting someecards.
      Also also I need to know when the cookie baking started, I would like mine to bake scones :)

      September 26th, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    4. Cathy says:

      Reading a recipe = reading skills.
      Measuring ingrediants = math skills (fractions even).
      Process for baking/brewing = science skills.
      Discussing first civilazation to brew beer or use an oven (while preping food/drink) = history skills.
      Learning how to bake to impress future girlfriends = life skills.

      Seems like E is learning more skills here than anything “bad”.

      September 27th, 2012 at 6:36 am

    5. Caitlin W says:

      Haha! Great! My 5 year old helps daddy brew… He is quite capable of doing it himself although the big pots are too heavy. I have issues like this all the time. My son also thinks nothing of correcting us. “daddy, if the fridge were ‘full of cheese’ there would be nothing else in it. You should have said ‘it has cheese in it’.”

      September 27th, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    6. Stimey says:

      Those teachers know way too much about us. Something has to be done.
      Stimey recently posted..Parenting (Autistic) Kids is HardMy Profile

      September 27th, 2012 at 2:46 pm

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