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    If he wasn’t so hot, I’d kick his ass

    July 19, 2009

    If he wasn't so hot, I'd kick his ass
    K: Hey.
    D: (ignoring me as he pours the beer into the glass)
    K: Hey, hey, HEY!!!
    D: (with three-quarters of the beer poured in the glass and finally tilting the bottle back) What?
    K: Don’t WHAAAT me.
    D: (attempting his most innocent face) Did you want some of this? (pointing to his beer bottle)
    K: Yes. As a matter of fact, I DID want some of the last beer.
    D: Oh, I’m sorry. Here (handing me the bottle).
    K: No, THANK YOU (opening up the fridge). Oh, look. There’s one more beer hidden in here. I’ll just have this last EYE PEE A instead.
    D: WHOA!!! Don’t be drinking the IPA. You know that’s my favorite. You drink this (motioning to his Pale Ale).
    K: Screw you, Mr. Selfish. That’s what happens when you are SELLL-FISH!!!
    D: I’m sorry?
    K: You are only sorry because I’m drinking a better beer than the one you opened.

    I drank the whole thing. And some of his when he wasn’t looking.

    Come back tomorrow to find out what I’m giving away. I know, tomorrow? Seriously. I’m back on my best behavior. There will be posts. All week. I’m giving stuff away. I have motivation.

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    1. shane says:

      You drink IPA? I may need to get you a plane ticket to Colorado so you can help Renee finish her “Mini-Beer Tour” at Old Chicago. She found the Odell IPA that I ordered (and she sampled) wayyyyy too bitter…. But it’s now standing squarely between her and her “Red White and Brew” t-shirt.

      July 19th, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    2. Carrie says:

      This is why I married a non-drinker.

      July 19th, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    3. Manic Mommy says:

      I think what you did was better than an ass-kicking. Never thought of hiding the good stuff…

      July 20th, 2009 at 4:55 am

    4. Kelly says:

      Here’s to having the last word…I mean beer.


      July 20th, 2009 at 5:48 am

    5. Stimey says:

      Really, he has no one but himself to blame.

      July 20th, 2009 at 10:55 am

    6. Earth_Mommy says:

      I love Pale Ales. Sierra Nevada is my favorite. Hubby is skert of my hormones, so won’t take the last one lol

      July 20th, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    7. Ay Uaxe says:

      If you can, try Abita Brewery’s Jockamo IPA (from the Mardi Gras indian chant and song, Iko Iko, “Jockamo fin an day” [ph]). It is the best IPA I’ve had to date. Like everything from N’awlins land, it’s tasty and so smooth and comfortable, you won’t even know what hit you, but you’ll know you want more.

      Abita’s other beers are all worth a try, though perhaps not quite as fine as the IPA. Their satsuma infused ale is a classic Belgian witbier (eg Blue Moon, but, I think, better). Even the conceptually off-putting rasberry and strawberry infused beers are surprisingly good and refreshing after a sweltering day working in the yard.

      July 21st, 2009 at 9:09 am

    8. Melanie says:

      Good on you for having the IPA! I’d done the same thing!!!!!

      Dh bought two Bluebird Bitters last week and when I said that I was going to have one, he said: “Shouldn’t you ask you can have one” to which I replied: “So you bought the beer just for yourself? Gosh, you are so thoughtless!”

      Still smiling:) Course I drank the beer!

      July 21st, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    9. Skip says:

      My wife doesn’t drink so I never have to worry about that. As for suggestions, Wild Goose IPA. Fantastic brew. Probably only available on the East Coast though.

      July 22nd, 2009 at 11:56 am

    10. Amanda says:

      You sneaky bitch… I like you! Adding you to my google reader…. now.

      (PS – found you through twitter while being way too jealous about not being at BlogHer09 – best be in ATL next year!)

      July 25th, 2009 at 7:42 am

    11. terena says:

      I know. I would have killed my husband several times in the last year if he wasn’t just so adorable. Children, small animals, and hubbies… they all share that cuteness thing that makes it impossible to hurt them. Good survival mechanism.

      Although drinking the last beer is pushing his luck.

      July 28th, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    12. Nicki says:

      Wow. You must have some kind of magic juju going. My guy would kill me if I wrote anything negative about him, let alone stick his picture on my blog!

      I’m taking lessons from you for sure.

      July 29th, 2009 at 4:12 am

    13. Sky says:

      I think that’s why my hubs and I get along. I hate beer, he hates tequila. We’re a match made in er…yeah.

      July 31st, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    14. PunditMom/Joanne Bamberger says:

      And I KNOW you enjoyed every last drop! 🙂

      August 3rd, 2009 at 11:02 am

    15. Krissa says:

      Will men never learn? You simply CANNOT just go about your business and expect nothing retaliatory to happen to you after being so hostilely indifferent about sharing THE LAST BEER. Even if you were wrong and it’s not the last. You know there is NO court in the land that would convict you if you physically hurt him for that? 😉

      August 23rd, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    16. tara says:

      Here I had all this guilt about not being up to date on your blog … but then I realized I AM up to date.

      Sleep less, post more. 😉

      hugs to you my crazy sleepless friend.

      September 3rd, 2009 at 6:49 am

    17. Robyn says:

      mmmmmm beer.

      he’d look hotter in BabyHawk 😉

      September 10th, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    18. Breezy says:

      Time for an update!! I love your writing, and baby or not, I miss your musings!!! 🙂
      Bacardi Coconut Rum, anyone?

      September 19th, 2009 at 8:32 pm

    19. Kids Christmas Pajamas says:

      I love it!! I think I am going to open up a beer now. It’s almost 5 pm here. LOL

      October 8th, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    20. Marie says:

      Have you decided to stop blogging?

      October 20th, 2009 at 9:19 am

    21. vicky says:

      Umm… so where is this motivation? Heh.

      October 21st, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    22. Lindy Gruger Hanson says:

      We call it IGOMFU
      (pronounced igemfoo, means, “I got mine, f**k you.”)

      All in fun…and you have to smile when you say it.

      February 1st, 2010 at 11:20 am

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