It’s not that I don’t want to listen. It’s just that I have two children that talk more than I do (which is mind-boggling, in and of itself) and at the end of the day, I just want everyone to shut the hell up.
I called B’s mom to find out how B’s Aunt Margie is doing since she fell on Friday and broke her hip and her arm. I had left messages and hadn’t heard back from her. I was starting to worry and I didn’t know 80-pound women in their early 50’s could break like that. I promised B I would keep everything under control while she was on her trip to Tuscany in first class with her ex-boyfriend whom she broke up with two weeks ago. Normally I wouldn’t recommend going on a trip with your ex for nine days but if you just broke up because he didn’t want to marry you and he already paid for the first class tickets and the week-long culinary class, I’m thinking it’s totally reasonable to wait another nine days to get back out there on the market and find Mr. Right.
Aunt Margie is doing as well as expected but apparently while they were doing surgery, someone called from the hospital in the next town over to say that Aunt Jay was looking like she wasn’t going to make it and they should all go over there to say their goodbyes. The doctor in the ER then changed his mind and said Aunt Jay would be fine, but there are rumors that Aunt Violet isn’t doing that hot this week either. It’s tough being in your 80s.
I said all those things you are supposed to say and then I hung up. I told Derek that apparently B’s mom had called somewhere to leave me a message but clearly it wasn’t any of my phones.
D: She called my phone a couple of days ago?
K: What. the. hell. Derek. Aunt Jay was getting her last rites and Aunt Margie needed a blood transfusion and Mickey is being his normal horrible dog self and you forgot to tell me?
D: I tried to tell you. You were too busy to listen. You didn’t want to hear.
He’s right. He should have written me a note. Or told me on Twitter. I’m tired of noise.