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    Kids. They never listen.

    January 12, 2009


    You have some questions right now.  Yes, The Baby has a butter knife in his right hand.  Yes, that is a quart of motor oil to his right.  The food getting spit out of his mouth?  The pizza from yesterday that he found somewhere that he was properly advised NOT TO EAT because it is a day old and would taste like crap.  Which apparently was not believed.

    I then went downstairs to upload the pizza debacle.  When I came back up stairs, I found this.


    Technically it is the dining room table but it is still in the living room from New Year’s Eve.  Yes, that happens to be a 5-gallon bucket of deck stain on the dining room table.  It has to warm up to actually be put on the deck because you can’t put deck stain on a deck in weather under 40 degrees.  It was colder than 40 degrees where the stain was in the garage.  Grant it, it’s colder than 40 degrees on the deck.  Hey, I’m not the mathematician in the family but 2 plus 2 is looking a lot like 5 right now.

    The stickers on the reading glasses?  So Dad knows which ones are the correct ones.  Not to be confused with just trying them out at the store to see which ones are best.  Let’s just buy 4 pairs and play the “I CAN’T READ” game every single time a pair goes on.  Or at least 75% of the time. The crumbly mass The Baby is sitting upon?  Hot crushed red pepper.  He was actually sneezing.  Pink earphones?  In a package when I saw them last.

    The Republican haircuts?  I know the craze is to make your child look unwashed by letting their hair grow long and unruly.  We like to use clothing as a conversation piece about whether these children ever get bathed.  And when someone has vomited in the barber shop just a couple of days before, they do their best to make sure you aren’t coming back any time soon.


    There are an incredible amount of hand prints on that mirror, right?  Those prints are from a year ago.  My husband keeps his stash of his beloved Windex well-hidden.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I can barely keep the fam in clean underwear and socks.  Clean a mirror?  Surely you jest.


    Nasty feet with unclipped toenails?  Check!  On the table?  Check!  Not just on the table but the nicest table cloth.  Interestingly enough, no one even hedged or looked apologetic when I busted them.

    It’s not even 10:30 yet.

    Jess is very concerned about what we intend to call The Baby when we have the newer, more important Baby.  It’s clear The Boy is a disappointment.  We may as well get a jump on moving beyond the middle child and focusing on the child that is most important, Baby #3.  If you have an opinion (as I know you do), let me know in the comments what you think the name should be for The Baby and for this little rug rat that is determined to come out via my belly button.30weeks6days


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    1. Mahala says:


      January 12th, 2009 at 10:37 am

    2. Tara says:


      January 12th, 2009 at 11:44 am

    3. Amy says:

      Nicholas, but call him Nick.

      January 12th, 2009 at 11:56 am

    4. ellen says:

      I think you should call him Bea

      January 12th, 2009 at 11:58 am

    5. Domestic Goddess (in training) says:

      I have so suggestions, but rather am marveling at how similar your house is to mine. Mine is without red pepper flakes though, I am more bland than that!

      January 12th, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    6. Kimberly says:


      January 12th, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    7. Jess says:

      I am apparently overthinking this. I’m just worried about your readers confusing The Baby and The New Baby. My husband suggests switching to calling N “MCS” short for middle child syndrome. I’m scared I’m having a boy…cause then I can’t get away with “Big Boy” and “Little Boy” any more. Atleast if its a girl I can just call her “The Girl”.

      Really im just refocusing my own crazy pregnant obsessions on to you.

      January 12th, 2009 at 1:09 pm

    8. Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas says:

      We referred to our second born as K2. A mountain all unto himself and nearly impossible to conquer.

      January 12th, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    9. kate says:

      hmm how about just call him Number 3 – all star trek like.

      the pictures are AWESOME!

      January 12th, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    10. babybrewing says:

      I should clarify. I’m looking for a BLOG name for Baby #3 and I guess one for #2 since he won’t BE The Baby anymore. As for Baby #3’s name, we’re letting PBS give him his real name.

      January 12th, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    11. trena says:

      Um… B cubed (can’t find the cubed symbol & too lazy to look)? (you know, because he’s the 3rd boy and all?) Plus it fits into the whole, the Boy, the Baby etc

      January 12th, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    12. Hope42Day says:

      Everytime I read your post I laugh out loud and have memories of when my boys were little. Now, they are 14 and 21. Yet, the fun never stops…at least they don’t stand on the table anymore. Now I do so I can be taller than they are!!!!!!

      January 12th, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    13. Mark says:

      Big It (1), Little It (2), Itty Bit.

      You can the leading sh if you so desire.

      January 12th, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    14. Mark says:

      that is, you can add the leading sh if you so desire.

      January 12th, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    15. ellen says:

      as I said – bea – you can call him that over on PBS too. 😎

      January 12th, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    16. deichmans says:

      “The Baby” must remain “The Baby” (otherwise you risk a severe identity crisis and gratuitous counseling bills during his teen years).

      Therefore, in true Cat in the Hat style, the newest lad should be “Thing Three”.

      This can even inspire some Seuss-like rhymes (“He wanted to climb out through the belly … He wanted to eat his PB & jelly … He was not going to go out down … He did not want to make Mom frown.”

      January 13th, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    17. jenn says:

      Can they get any cuter or more childlike!!!! So sweet..I sort of miss those days…for a few minutes!

      January 15th, 2009 at 5:44 am

    18. Lindsay Lebresco (Graco) says:

      How about Trey? My brother was a 3rd and he always wanted to change his name to Trey. Of course we named our second dog “Deuce” so it’s not that creative.

      Love the outtie- I had a mean outtie but I personally think they’re adorable 🙂

      January 15th, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    19. Meg says:

      Hmmm. My three boys all look like me, so my husband just calls them Meg, Megger and Meggest. But that doesn’t help you, does it?

      January 16th, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    20. Thecakelady says:

      The Boy, The Baby and The Other One.

      January 20th, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    21. Susie Sunshine says:

      -The New One
      -Last of the Litter (LOL for short)

      January 23rd, 2009 at 6:19 am

    22. a. says:

      I really don’t know how you do it…and with another on the way. All the best to you! They’re so cute though!

      January 23rd, 2009 at 3:17 pm

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