My Mother Ginny: I’m just calling to see how he is doing.
K: Why are you calling?
MMG: I’m checking on how he is feeling and what happened with the stitches.
K: Mom, did I tell you about Derek getting a vasectomy because it’s not like I would keep that from you but it doesn’t seem like something that would have just come up in conversation with your mother. “Hey, did I mention The Husband is getting fixed?” It’s not like I would hide it or anything. It just seems surprising that we would have discussed it but it was nice of you to call to check on him. His stitches are fine. He’s fine. A little whiny, you know, telling doctor that he hadn’t changed his mind–he still didn’t want to do it–but what do you expect? His stitches look alright, I guess, but it’s not like I’m in a rush to check them out again.
Cue the chorus of crickets, Bob.
MMG: I was calling about Ethan’s stitches.
K: Oh, hmm. Hmm. Yeah, they need 4 people to hold him down to get them out but he’s fine now.
MMG: Great. That’s all I was calling about.
Shockingly, it seemed as if we had nothing left to say.