K: Dan is talking crazy about appetizers for Thanksgiving. Because there isn’t enough to overeat on Thanksgiving. Although I do so love the carmelized onion dip.
D: We always had a pickle and olive platter. It’s very traditional.
K: Did you just say a pickle and olive platter is traditional?
K: Um, were your grandparents born in Washington state?
K: And your great grandparents?
D: I think they were born in Washington too.
K: So your great history of “tradition” is a few generations born on that OTHER coast?
D: Yeah. What are you trying to say?
K: How long have your people had tradition? I mean, you’ve only been there for like a hundred years. It’s not your people settled in the birthplace of the freedom. Traditional? It’s not like they fought in the Revolutionary War. I’m not saying I AM a card-carrying member of the DAR but that’s due to laziness. Hundreds of years of laziness.
This would be the point were I apparently crossed the line.
D: HEY, my PEOPLE fought in the Revolutionary War.
K: As members of the French army. That hardly counts.
D: Um, this country couldn’t have won the war without the French.
It’s only been how many years since those words have been spoken? And will they ever be spoken again? I think not.
K: Sure, your people did make that road up the street from our house that is now known as The Ultimate Shortcut to Ikea. But you know what I’m saying. Pickles and olives for a Thanksgiving appetizer? Seriously?