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    Since my mother is blaming herself for everything, let’s add

    October 28, 2008

    “Failure to send me to Girl Scouts” to the list.

    You don’t even want to know how long it took me to start the fire in the wood stove today.  I had to start that fire because winter has arrived here.  Fall?  Who needs fall when you can wake up to 30 degree weather?  And since The Husband is running interference with The Baby who wakes up at 6:23 a.m. every morning like clockwork, he apparently has no time to build a proper fire before he leaves for work.  I was still recovering from getting up 9 times to put The Boy back in his bed in the middle of the night.

    I called Sweet Home Alabama to complain about my lack of Scout skills.  She mentioned that she had been in the Girl Scouts.  Apparently I have been led astray about ways my parents have overtly failed me in life.  SHA doesn’t know how to start a fire.  She doesn’t even know her knots.  WTH??  What are they doing in Girl Scouts if they aren’t teaching them survival skills and how to light crap on fire?  Either way, I will now blame my parents for failing to sign me up for the Boy Scouts.  HOW DARE THEY????  Clearly they did not love me because if they had, they would have taken the Boy Scouts to the Supreme Court to get me admitted.

    Or they could have just taught me to start a fire.  My mother?  Queen Firestarter.  I still remember my mother out in the snow, chopping firewood when she was 7 months pregnant.  Of course, I’m 5 months pregnant and I have contractions if I climb stairs too quickly.  I am clearly not my mother’s daughter.   That being said, would I be in a rush to teach MY offspring to start a fire?  Probably not.  Who am I kidding?  Not just “no” but “hell, no.”

    So I guess I will let her off the hook.  The odds are pretty good that she probably DID try to teach me to build a fire but I was ignoring her as any good daughter does.  Sorry, Mom.

    Wanna a brand new Evenflo Symphony  All-in-One car seat?  Just head over to Mommy Needs a Review and leave a comment for a chance to win randomly.  You have until Friday, October 31.

    8 Comments »

    1. Marelle says:

      Um . . . just a little suggestion . . . did you ask The Boy about starting the fire? I thought that was already checked off his lists of “I know how to _______, Mom.” haha

      And, NO, I don’t want to win a car seat!!

      Have a great one!!

      October 28th, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    2. Tracee Sioux says:

      I took girls scouts and you know what they taught? Braiding hair.

      I put my daughter in it hoping for the great self-esteem initiative. She’s learning to glue glitter on paper and pumpkins.

      I know how to start a fire – my brothers were BOY SCOUTS. That’s where they teach you the really important stuff like how to survive if poeple start looting or there’s an economic crisis.

      The rule in 2008?

      No Girls Allowed.

      October 28th, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    3. Ray says:

      Starting a fire?

      I’m such a lightweight here. I am SO not ready for winter. Our first night of freezing temps (last night) found me suggesting, “Honey, it’s time to turn on the heat” to which he replied, “No, the weather will warm up again in a few days”.

      I’m thankful I don’t live where it snows. I would hibernate.

      October 28th, 2008 at 7:39 pm

    4. Mahala says:

      The only thing I got from Girl Scouts was watching my mother go over the edge driving all over town trying to find Brownie uniforms in “Chunky Extreme.” I can start a hell of a fire, but I’ll have to keep the hows and whys of that lesson to myself.

      I pray to the Almighty that I never have need for a car seat again, or for that matter, anything made by Evenflo.

      October 28th, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    5. Wife and Mommy says:

      Yeah, I never learned to start a fire when I was a Girl Scout. But if you need to learn how to make S’mores or sing bad camp songs, then I can help.

      October 28th, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    6. Courtney says:

      I was a Girl Scout and that is where I learned how to build and start a camp fire. I’m better at the ‘outdoors’ kind than the ‘in my fireplace’ kind though.

      October 29th, 2008 at 6:36 am

    7. jen lemen says:

      ummm…i was (shockingly) a girl scout leader and the only thing in the manual they wanted us to teach them was how to sing songs and do dishes efficiently when camping. both essential skills that would no doubt change your life right now. along with the firestarting.

      October 31st, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    8. orsportgirl says:

      I work for the Girl Scouts and have taught girls how to build fires. Just not until they’re a little older. And we don’t need kerosene to start ours. That seems to be what the Boy Scouts I’ve watched learned. It does make a heck of a fire though!
      Enjoying my teepee style fire in the wood stove tonight.

      November 3rd, 2008 at 9:57 pm

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