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    August 1, 2008

    This evening I sent out this tweet,

    the boys are silent. Too tired to access the situation. On top of that, hoping @damnhusband reads my mind and brings dinner home.

    As God as my witness, I really do watch my kids. But sometimes I’m really tired. And they are really, really bad children. And I’m a bad mother. I swear, I thought I had confiscated all the toothpaste. Apparently not. Watch as I conduct my interrogation, the instigator dumps TOOTHPASTE on the couch.

    Free prize to the HUNDREDTH person that tells me how dangerous/toxic fluoride is.

    Our winners for the Bloggy Giveaway are Jane, Jenny and Sarah. You all were good sports. Those kids don’t look anything like me. But, based on days like this, it’s obvious they are ALL mine.

    You can still use that blogher08 code for 25% off at Baby Brewing through midnight tonight if you didn’t win!

    28 Comments »

    1. Julie says:

      Not the hundreth but definitely the first!

      Oh man you poor woman, you do have your hands full! LOL And in the hair? and MORE on the couch? No words, just no words. Other than It’s bathtime! (at least it wasn’t one of the yummy ones that comes with sparkles and in great berry flavors like “stain your couch for life red”

      August 1st, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    2. califmom says:

      I can say this, because it’s been about 9 years since my kids used the shower gel for syrup in their play kitchen. That’s damn funny. One day, 9 years from now, you will only see The Funny. (Am I supposed to throw in the obligatory FLOURIDE KILLS BABY PANDAS?)

      August 1st, 2008 at 3:28 pm

    3. write_pdx says:

      At least they must smell minty-fresh — a nice cover-up for that infamous “little-boy smell” — a nice mixture of BO, kool-aid, ketchup, maple syrup and boogers. (Do boogers have a smell?)

      August 1st, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    4. Amy says:

      Just shared this with a newly pregnant friend! Probably scared the bahoonies out of her!

      August 1st, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    5. Susie Sunshine says:

      Mmmmmm, I can smell the minty freshness from here!

      August 1st, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    6. CounterClckWise says:

      I love how at the end of the video, when you’re fixin’ to beat ‘em, your older one tries to clean up the latest mess by rubbing it in the couch with his dirty little foot! Hahahahaha I hope you have a dog to clean up all their messes.

      August 1st, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    7. Stacey says:

      We have well water – no fluoride in it – & my doc actually said it was a good thing if the boys swallowed some toothpaste.

      I have to get a video camera & start filming our interrogations. That was just too funny!

      August 1st, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    8. Brenda says:

      You were lucky enough to have a toothpaste incident. Today I had a poop smeared all over the crib incident. Pictures will be up on my blog later.

      Consider yourself a damn good mommy, me not so much today.

      August 1st, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    9. Robin says:

      Holly should have a lot to say about this I bet….

      August 1st, 2008 at 6:10 pm

    10. Perksofbeingme says:

      I LOVE THIS. I would LOVE to come spend a week at your house. I’ll watch the kids just so I can see them in action.

      August 1st, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    11. Manic Mommy says:

      Heh. Right there with ya dude. Because the couch still smells and no amout of Febreeze is going to get it out.

      Also? I think they’d have to eat like a VAT of flouride before it realy hurt them. At least they’ll be cavity free!

      August 1st, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    12. Heather from Domestic Extraordinaire says:

      Ahhh, I remember the day when Giggles found the toothpaste and made a lovely map with it in the living room. Once she realized that she couldn’t wipe it up she started carefully placing toys to cover it up.

      August 1st, 2008 at 7:02 pm

    13. Shannon says:

      Ahhh, brings back memories!

      August 2nd, 2008 at 5:52 am

    14. CFFG (Melissa) says:

      No more Sunny D or Gatorade for those 2, even though my husband says sugar doesn’t affect children. Didn’t he see that on tv? Love Nate’s face in the beginning of the interrogation. Did they perhaps discover a new use for toothpaste? Hair styling product?

      August 2nd, 2008 at 6:20 am

    15. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah says:

      Naaaathan is a punker rocker nooooooow.

      August 2nd, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    16. Kate says:

      Check out that hair! I have really small kids at home (one three-year old and almost two-year old twins) and they are ALL obsessed with toothpaste and toothbrushes. This was like a scene from my own house…but with more discussion and less chasing.

      August 4th, 2008 at 9:01 am

    17. Missy says:

      I can totally identify! I have three girls all under the age of 6. When you are outnumbered, it is not a good thing!!
      One week, we had three similar experiences. Keep in mind, husband was on military deployment. Day one: Giant, costco size bottle of lotion was poured on the hardwood floor to facilitat ice-skating.
      Day three: Large container of baby powder was squeezed out all over bedroom to make snow.
      Day five: dog wouldn’t sit still for his “bath”. So, when dog ran into the house, children followed. With water hose. Spraying water EVERYWHERE!!!
      Day six: Two children were shipped to Nana’s house before Mommy lost her mind!

      :)

      Missy

      August 4th, 2008 at 11:27 am

    18. Sammanthia says:

      That’s just hilarious… it was easy for me to laugh,they weren’t my children. The again, mine would have lit a match- just to see what would happen!
      Thanks for the laugh!

      August 4th, 2008 at 7:17 pm

    19. Tracee Sioux says:

      Here’s the bitch about toothpaste – if they paint the wall with it you can never ever get it off. Even if you paint – and prime – over it – it will never, ever quite dry and neither will the paint.

      Oh, and they don’t put any fluoride in our city water, so I have this theory that my baby taking a hit off the toothpaste tube substitutes for that.

      My friend says fluoride in the water can cause gout when they grow up. But, I say gout is cheaper than fixing f*ed up teeth.

      August 4th, 2008 at 7:33 pm

    20. tara livesay says:

      I love E’s voice — sounds kind of Peppermint Pattyish. SO funny.

      August 5th, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    21. Eric the GM guy says:

      I knew these kids looked familiar, they are the same ones that were throwing bottles of milk at eachother in the backseat of the Vue. Told you id make it to your site… its great, and thanks again for driving to the other end of the state for me :)

      August 6th, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    22. J from Ireland says:

      That is the most adorable thing I’ve seen, they are so cute and funny.

      August 8th, 2008 at 4:49 am

    23. Janie says:

      I have just recently been clued into your blog. I assure you I am not laughing at you, I am laughing with you, because I have had those days and if I don’t laugh I’d do nothing but cry.

      I am the mother of a “spirited” toddler. Her exploits include pouring sugar, salt, and pepper all over the sofa, ottoman and tv room floor. When she no longer could access the sprinkleables she found a black sharpie in “Uncle Leif’s” room (some idiot before we moved in thought white carpet was a wise move and this house is a rental so I panicked).

      All I can say is black sharpie does come out of upholstry fabric with liberal enough application of swears, oxy clean, orange magic cleanser and if you don’t mind the upholstry in those areas to be nearly see through.

      Mom power!

      August 10th, 2008 at 8:13 am

    24. Carly says:

      OMG!!! We live twin lives….your boys are exactly like mine. We had a the same experience only with butt paste. LMAO!

      I love your blog.

      August 12th, 2008 at 4:16 pm

    25. Barb says:

      OMG!! This is waaaayyy to funny…..I had such a good laugh at this….LOL…. my kids are bigger now and don’t do those things anymore, but a few years ago my 4yr. old son went into the garage and got into the paint that i had in there because I was painting baseboards…and he had totally painted his bike and had paint all over himself and the garage floor and he had taken the paint brush and left his ‘mark’ on everyones back bike tire…It was priceless. I am going to have to find those pics and post them on my blog. ohhh and once my daughter put vasoline everywhere all over herself..her hair and everywhere else…but there had been a babysitter over so she had to deal with it…LOL… thank god I didn’t have too… oh man I have a few more crazy stories like those too….fun to reminisce…

      August 13th, 2008 at 9:47 am

    26. Having It Girl says:

      oh my gosh, they may be bad but they are SO adorable!

      August 13th, 2008 at 7:09 pm

    27. thequeenmommy says:

      Um, yeah, my daughters look NOTHING like yours but just HAVE to be related!!! Twin cousins or something! Way to wrangle the videocamera AND 2 toothpaste tubes – You Rock Mommy!!!

      Um, yeah, I won’t mention that fluoride is toxic, I’ll just think it to myself…

      August 18th, 2008 at 4:24 am

    28. heels says:

      I busted up where you say “What about your brother?” And he says “Yeah he was doing it,too.” as if he’s totally oblivious to the fact that the Baby has blue goop smeared across half of his head. Laughed Out Loud.

      August 20th, 2008 at 3:43 pm

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