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Oh, if you twitter, I’m sure you think this post is going to be about the Fail Whale. It’s not. I would like to say that I’m feeling a little snotty about twitter lately. Kinda like, last in, first out. Don’t be telling ME that you are over capacity. I want a gold card twitter membership. If I get a gold card, I do solemnly swear I will learn how to reply to people.
What this is about is that my damn husband is now on twitter. Seriously. DamnHusband is my husband. I have NEVER referred to him as DamnHusband. Wait, there may be that one time. Um, yeah. No, I take that back. Anyway, it appears that my DamnHusband has been keeping tabs on me via twitter. It’s a free country. I’ve learned not to tweet my lattes at the coffee shop because then my phone will invariably ring. That being said, I got a notice today saying “damnhusband” was following me.
Currently I am over capacity for following people. Way back my sister peer pressured me into following everyone that was following me because it was the nice thing to do. Except once you have more than 12 people you are following, you receive 30 tweets a minute. And half of those are yours. I went to a party and got my ass handed to be about being a terrible twitch. I never reply, I have no idea what’s going on, blah, blah, blah.
People, I have no idea what is going on with twitter ever. I’ve missed job offers, free offers, appointments because I can’t keep twitter straight. My friend is all, “did you see my tweet last night about my husband making me walk home from the restaurant and I needed a ride?” and I didn’t because Bob from Thailand is tweeting every 3 seconds about his monkey’s staph infection. I can’t unfollow Bob because apparently Bob gets notified when you unfollow him and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. He is already in a really low point in his life. But my friend was walking down a major road alone. In traffic. Okay, I don’t think she really was but you get the point.
But there are certain things you should keep tabs on, even it it means going into information overload. DamnHusband is one of them. He’s feisty, that one.
And if I’m not following you on twitter, let me know who you are so I can remedy that immediately.
K8spade says:
As I believe you know, my husband at one time was on Twitter. And then, one day, he inexplicably terminated his account. Yay me!! But I totally feel your pain. And I am going to follow his ass right now
July 8th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Mark says:
If you need to lighten your Twit load, feel free to jettison my a$$.
Or better yet, I’ll sell my Twitspot for a trained monkey without a staph infection that can retrieve a beer.
July 8th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Brenda says:
Here’s hoping that my husband never gets the twitter bug. I too love Twitter but have no earthly idea just what to do with it. Feel free to follow along as I never tweet anyone!
July 8th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
The Hunter's Wife says:
I have my own dilemma with Twitter. I think some don’t follow me or respond to my twits in fear of socializing with “hunting”. Oh hell, maybe I’m just boring.
July 9th, 2008 at 4:08 am
Pink Asparagus » If I Tweet and No One Follows Me, Am I a Twit? says:
[...] I read something like this, I’m resolved: oh dear NO, I cannot invite that stress into my life. The commitment! Do you [...]
July 9th, 2008 at 6:44 am
Brittany says:
I just went through my Twitter and deleted all of the spambots. anyone who is NOT a real person (and anyone who is following more than 2,000 people) get blocked. That way it’s kist as if you deleted your twitter. Thy can’t even see your updates. You are following me, but definitely try blocking people. If you need help figuring it out, just let me know.
July 9th, 2008 at 7:28 am
kate says:
ah, hello??? what about the kid in egypt in prison and the only way he got out was because he twittered it as they threw him into the slammer????
July 9th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
John says:
Kate,
That egypt guy was a scam. He knew he was going to prison, so everyone knew where to look anyway. He should have just screamed like the girl he was.
July 9th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Katherine Gray says:
You absolutely do not need to follow everyone who follows you. I know your sister has the kindest heart in The Universe but if following too many people ruins the exprience for you, don’t do it. A strategy: Read some people’s streams via RSS, or like I do, save them in Favorites. That way I always get to see the tweets of my favorite people.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Kim says:
I follow you, but don’t expect you to follow me.
I only have 18 (or it may be 17) followers right now, so I am like a z-list tweeter! lol
July 9th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
kate says:
perhaps…..but who cares? all media is contrived anyway.
July 10th, 2008 at 6:41 am
Amy in Ohio says:
Bossy has the right idea on twitter. I can’t keep things straight either.
July 10th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
DaisyK says:
I just added you and you are a stitch!!! i’m daisykerne
nice to meet ya lol
July 14th, 2008 at 9:55 am
keywest says:
This is where I draw the tech-line. I will not tweet. I don’t want people to know where to find me or I would tell them where I was myself. My daughter is a grown up now, and I still jump guiltily when I am eating in a restaurant by myself with a book and the phone rings.
Nope. No twitter. If they want to follow me, let them get in the @#%$! car.
And just let them try to keep up.
July 17th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Jenni says:
I’m on twitter… ThisMomJen
I just started reading your blog today via the Blog Carnival and it’s a great way to kill time here at work. You’re hilarious!
July 28th, 2008 at 12:42 pm