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    Cause people have so many things to say to me

    July 23, 2008

     I was worried that everyone might not see Holly’s comment below so I wanted to make sure it got the attention it deserved and people were free to comment on my bad parenting accordingly.

    Holly says:I just want to say that I find your site rather disturbing. Ok, I understand the whole “mommy needs a cocktail” or beer, wine, etc. to take the edge off when you’ve had a bad day…but to exploit how bad your kids are on the site is just horrible. If your child has done something he knows he shouldn’t have done (or even if he didn’t know since it seems he’s 3?) then you discipline him. Making an “interrogation” video and posting it on your site is not going to fix any problem that comes up. It’s clear as day that the boys find it funny they are being questioned. It’s almost as if you want them to misbehave so you have something new to post on your blog.

    I’d say you don’t half-ass parent…you’re a fraction of that even. You clearly need something more than a cocktail (i.e. counselor, supernanny, etc.) to show you the ropes on how to raise a child in this world.

    Holly,

    Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments about my parenting. As a new reader to Mommy Needs a Cocktail (which I can only assume based on the fact that you think “Mommy Needs a Cocktail” is about taking a drink to take the edge off of your day), I’ll take this opportunity to bring you up to date on what this blog is about. Mommy Needs a Cocktail is about that moment of the day when all is lost. When you have just finished cleaning the marker off the wall to find that someone else has gotten into the paint and has redecorated the dining room. Shockingly, it does not refer to cracking open a fifth of scotch at breakfast to make it through the day. I don’t really need it. But thanks for the permission to do it.

    Referring to the exploitation of how “bad” my children are, I would like to clarify that only one of those “bad” children is mine and the other “bad seed” is the neighbor kid. Had you suggested that perhaps I should start watching my children better, that would have been a valid suggestion. I do need therapy, Holly, but it isn’t to teach me how to discipline my “bad” children who have gotten into toothpaste or chocolate because their mother left the room for two minutes.

    I did go to a shrink about my child, Holly, after watching him unlock one door by methodically working his way through a ring of 20 keys in under 40 seconds. You know what she told me? That he was so effing off-the-charts brilliant that my entire life will be filled with toothpaste incidents and hidden chocolate, unless I locked him in the closet. And since we don’t aspire to Joan Crawford-like parenting, we are going to go with redirection as a form of corrective behavior.

    I guess I could have beat his ass for finding chocolate and eating it with his equally brilliant friend while I was changing his brother’s diaper, but I think I’m going to have to pass.

    As for the interrogations, they will never stop.  ‘Cause they are freaking hilarious.

    Thanks for your suggestions.  I’ll be filing them where they belong.  The internet is so awesome.  It gives you the power to say exactly what is floating around in your mind, without concern for social norms, graciousness or filters. Not that she was judging….

    76 Comments »

    1. chrissie says:

      AMEN! I loved the chocolate video! And I bet Holly doesn’t evedn have kids. REmember back then when we were all the perfect parent (before kids) and we were going to flawlessly walk through parenting without ever laughing at the wrong moment or tell our children’s embarassing moments? Congrats on the brilliant child and thanks for not locking him in the closet!

      July 23rd, 2008 at 6:55 am

    2. Danyelle- The Cake Lady says:

      Hey Holly,

      Kristen can’t take all of the credit for the bad behavior of these two children as one of them is mine. I feel left out. You want my email so you can chew me a new one too? I am sure that IF you have children, you never left them a lone for a second to pee or talk on the phone. I am sure that IF you have children, they are best behaved children on your block. Kudos. Bravo. Excellent job. I think these videos are hilarious and have given Kristen my blessing to post my child’s bad behavior on the internet. THE BOYS ATE A LITTLE CHOCOLATE- WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? If they were sniffing sharpies, I would have a serious problem. What sort of punishment do you suggest for being brilliant enough to stash no-no goodies so when you want some, you can help your self with out the hassle of dealing with Mom? And- how do you know they weren’t punished before or after the video was taken? I love Kristen and her “bad” children and if she was a horrible parent, I would never let my son go over to her house. In fact, her “bad” child is at my house right now (OOOOOOO, and I am on the internet NOT WATCHING THEM)and they are playing cars together like the other civilized children in the neighborhood. Kristen, thanks for not beating my child’s ass and thanks for sharing the hilarity and brilliance of our boys with the internet. You have my permission to interrogate him for our viewing pleasure.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 7:19 am

    3. Tonja says:

      I have a feeling that Holly isn’t a parent …

      July 23rd, 2008 at 7:22 am

    4. a. says:

      Everyone has an opinion. You are way more kind than I would have been. I agree with Chrissie. Everyone’s a perfect parent…when she’s childless!

      July 23rd, 2008 at 7:26 am

    5. Brenda says:

      Wow, you are way more restrained that I am. That woman would have had a can of whoop ass opened on her by me. My guess is that she doesn’t live with a three and one year old on a daily basis like we do. Dude, ya gotta find the humor in the insanity or we become like them! Love your blog, always have and always will!

      July 23rd, 2008 at 7:44 am

    6. Husband says:

      I think we have the best kids in the world. You make and raise beautiful children. And after watching the boys, Daddy Needs a Beer.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 7:46 am

    7. Meg says:

      Hell, buy daddy a whole six-pack! But you guys might want to put the chocolate out of reach… it’s just messy.

      Holly needs to get over herself. It’s TONGUE IN CHEEK, sister. It’s funny. Lighten up.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 9:06 am

    8. Drinking for Two says:

      “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Einstein

      Wit and sarcasm are lost on some people… particularly those that take themselves too seriously.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 9:13 am

    9. Manic Mommy says:

      Loved ‘drinking for two’s’ comments. Pullin’ out the big guns quoting Einstein.

      Hey! Let’s start a rumor that Holly is HRH of June Cleaver Nirvana!

      July 23rd, 2008 at 9:35 am

    10. Kimberly says:

      Awwww…she needs a strong drink and a hug.

      It’s OK, Holly…you don’t have a clue, do you? Poor thing.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 10:29 am

    11. AA says:

      You might have discovered a new niche market? How about a “Mommy Needs a Sense of Humor” T?

      July 23rd, 2008 at 10:39 am

    12. Patti says:

      I think Holly is a man because that is such a man thing to say….and we all know what they know about parenting!!

      July 23rd, 2008 at 10:52 am

    13. Lynette says:

      Kristen–Keep up the awesome posts on your blog! I love reading/watching them because it’s nice to know that I am not alone in this world. It’s nice to have fun kids that keep us entertained!

      July 23rd, 2008 at 11:15 am

    14. Fred Pennsylvania says:

      What’s funny is that I came to your site because I think the name is hilarious! It reminds me of an old Taylor Negron stand-up comedy line about a too-tightly-wrapped lady who obviously needs “a highball and some bath oil beads” to loosen up a little.

      We all get overwhelmed from time to time. What Holly evidently doesn’t understand is that feeling the need for a cocktail and having one are two different things!

      Knowing that fact, and choosing not to imbibe when it may be desirable, but is not suitable, is a hallmark of adulthood. Holly, and the phalanxes of other would-be Hollys out there, should look into the concept. Really!

      July 23rd, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    15. krystyn says:

      Really. Really? I mean, that video was… vanilla.

      I could see if you were posting videos like this:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

      I mean, that’s just bad parenting.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    16. Izzy says:

      You gotta be kidding me. PUH-LEEEZ. There are assumptions that could be made here:

      1. Holly isn’t a parent.
      2. Holly has just found the internet. Halleluiah!
      3. Holly doesn’t know what blogging is about.
      4. Holly has no sense of humor.
      5. Holly doesn’t get vlogs. Huh?

      July 23rd, 2008 at 1:41 pm

    17. workout mommy says:

      sounds like she needs a cocktail!

      like you said in your session at blogher, i love the fact that i can come to your blog and know that you “get it”. I won’t necessarily drink that cocktail, but I definitely NEED one sometimes! thanks for letting me know i am not alone.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    18. Pam says:

      I’ve only read your blog three times (including today) and I’ve laughed soooo hard. And guess what? I don’t have kids but I do have a sense of humor. You ROCK and keep it up!

      July 23rd, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    19. Amy in Ohio says:

      This is what happens when the people without a sense of humor get access to the internets. Clearly no good can come of it.

      I want you to interrogate my daughter and hell, my husband while I have you here.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    20. Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas says:

      Hey Holly –

      In the immortal words of Futurama’s Bender the Robot. “Bite my shiny metal ass.”

      If you don’t like it, don’t read it. These kids are not abused nor are they exploited. They are smart, funny, and a little deviant. If you’ve never taken a picture of your kid after he’s emptied a box of kleenex or dumped a bucket of sand into your pool, then you need to take the stick out of your ass and buy yourself a sense of humor.

      Face it, sister. Kids are funny. We live to serve them. The least they could do is make us laugh once in awhile. Why not share it?

      Go find Sally Struthers and find a kid in third world that needs saving.

      All my love -
      Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas

      July 23rd, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    21. CounterClckWise says:

      Clearly, your children need to have the humor beaten out of them. Why can’t they just take the interrogation more SERIOUSLY?

      Rest edited to preserve the fragile peace that exists on Mommy Needs a Cocktail. Although it was friggin’ hilarious.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    22. Holly says:

      I think this issue needs a little clarification. For starters, I have two boys: a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 year old. So for everyone that assumed I don’t have kids you couldn’t be more wrong. I most certainly have left them alone to come back and find out they have been up to no good. It happens. Kids will be kids and I know that until they are finally out on their own, that they’ll continue to get into mischief in my household. The point that I was trying to make was that instead of making a joke of a situation where children get into trouble, there should be some sort of repercussion. I don’t mean that you need to be physical on the child, especially for as something as petty as getting into chocolate. The child needs some sort of discipline however. I’m not saying those boys should be sent to a maximum security prison for eating chocolate, but when the consequence for doing so is getting filmed by mommy, then how do you expect them to learn from their mistakes? You’re encouraging poor behavior. When they do something they know they’re not supposed to…surprise! We get to be on camera!

      You claim you were away for two minutes. Now either your child can eat a ton of chocolate in two minutes or you use extreme exaggeration in your blogs. The boy clearly says he ate a lot and it seems pretty apparent they both had.

      The boy(s) may be smart, but hiding chocolate doesn’t make them some sort of super genius. Nor does finding the right key to a door. I don’t think an adult could work 20 keys in under 40 seconds let alone a 3 year old.

      I do think it’s funny when kids do certain things and don’t get me wrong, I’ve often had to refrain myself from laughing when my own have done things they shouldn’t have. However, there is a time and a place get some humor out of the situation and then to be the adult. You’re clearly making the poor choice in the matter.

      One last tidbit…with all of the cautions of internet safety in this day and age, why would you put your children in videos on the net?

      With all of this said and done, I think I’ll go enjoy a cocktail :)

      July 23rd, 2008 at 4:03 pm

    23. Patience says:

      The only clarifying that Holly just did was to further explain just how much she STILL doesn’t get it…you should come to my blog holly, it’s mary poppin’s-esque and a little boring I might add (with lots of “appropriate parenting”)

      still trying to be kind…

      kg

      July 23rd, 2008 at 4:44 pm

    24. Yolanda says:

      OMG. I don’t know if I’ve commented here or not before. Please PLEASE don’t stop with the interrogation videos. I love the chocolate ones. Especially the one of the small one in the backpack. HILARIOUS.

      Oh, and hey, if you’re the one that’s not disciplining her kids right, aren’t you the one stuck with the “bad” kids? There are worse things in the world than kids who find chocolate and eat it in forts.

      And I it’s every blogger’s right to use “extreme exaggeration”. What was that comment about? Geez Holly. Where the link to her blog?

      July 23rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm

    25. Marelle says:

      Okay–I’m just catching up . . . this is so exciting. I love all the hoopla. The best thing Holly said in her comment was “you use extreme exaggeration in your blogs.” Duh!!?!?!? Yuhhhh!?!?!

      It’s called funny shit!

      Love you!

      ME

      July 23rd, 2008 at 5:24 pm

    26. Sky says:

      Hahahahahahahaha!!! I LOVE Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    27. Heather says:

      First time here and I am asking…where have you been all my life. You are a riot. My kids are much older, but I still remember the days.

      And Holly honey, if you don’t encourage this “kind” of parenting, then don’t come by…..I am guessing you won’t be missed.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 7:48 pm

    28. Kim/hormone-colored days says:

      If your boys are like mine, they will grow up to find videos like that freakin’ hilarious.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 8:32 pm

    29. donna c says:

      I have been reading your blog for about 6 months. I can’t believe this person’s comment. As the mother of three, now 22, 19 and 15, I find your stories funny and endearing. I wish there had been something around like this when my kids were in the chocolate, toothpaste, shaving creaming. Keep sharing and ignore people who don’t have a clue as to what they are talking about.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    30. Andrea says:

      Oh the drama! “Mommy needs a cocktail” was the second blog I added to my list…you are an amazingly hilarious and talented talker (through the written word), and my day is not complete without a dab of humour courtesy of you and yours. Keep it up…it allows me to escape from my own seemingly hopeless reality. What we all need in this world is a little “funny”, and most of all to know that we are not alone as frazzled parents. Everyone has shit to deal with; even turning on the T.V. to catch the daily news is asking for trouble. If the worst that we do is post funny videos of our children smeared in chocolate, rather than soldiers getting dragged down the streets or being decapitated, then HOLY F#*%!!! give me a break…sigh…sorry, it’s been a long day. Sweet jebus, I need a giggle…me thinks I may have to watch “Chocolate Interrogation video Episode IV” just one more time;) Oh, and Holly needs to have TWO cocktails. Sheesh, other mothers are the most judgmental of us crackpots. It’s not like we’re whipping our respective nipples out at her son’s baptism to breastfeed for goodness sakes…I could so go on, but I digress. Take care and keep it coming.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 9:38 pm

    31. LuckyCharm says:

      Omg I have 4 kids, last one leaves for college in sept. I so wish I had a blog to vent/share all those “special” moments with the world, way back when there was no internet. Holli, Mommy always need a drink! It has nothing to do with exploiting childrens ba behavior for fun on the internet. It has more to do with laughing thru those times when crying wont get you anywhere. You have to find some humor in the everyday crap. Lighten up, loosen up your pucker string, laugh at the insanity of everyday happenings of parenting.

      July 23rd, 2008 at 11:43 pm

    32. CounterClckWise says:

      ZOMG what a dorky dork clarification! Holly, please just take a valium and give a half to your kids. as well.

      And since Kristen is savaging my First Amendment rights (I feel like a Dixie Chick!) I put my previously redacted snarky threadjack over on my own blog.

      July 24th, 2008 at 3:45 am

    33. JenL says:

      I wouldn’t punish my kids for finding and eating chocolate. Someone needs to put down the parenting books and live a little, maybe — Mommy needs an enema?

      July 24th, 2008 at 3:54 am

    34. Holly Barf-a-roni says:

      Holly,
      I’m sorry that I’m not posting this on your my spacepage, I didn’t want to get buried in all of those comments about going pantiless with the Hollywood homeys and fighting off the papparazzi. But Brittney, since you’ve taken the extraordinary leap to get out to the Internet to bash Mommy I’ll leave my comments here.

      Let’s look at the situation, why blame the mom or the kids? Blame the internet! Blame society! Blame Al Gore for inventing the Internet! Heck while you’re at it, blame me as a reader of MNAC for finding all that she and “husband” do as entertainment because they exist soleley to give me a morning laugh attack while I’m getting my coffee fix.

      Her page and her writings allow me the respite to Thank the heavens that my 5 are all young adults. God forbid you don’t want to hear my stories. No not as bad as dangling them over a balcony in Europe with a bag over there heads ala monkey boy Jackson. But they’re blog worthy in their own right and since I ramble when I don’t get my cocktails and in my case cokatails and writing is oh so messy of a cleanuo I’ll leave it up to Mommy to detail in words the funnier aspects of Motherhood and her life and revel in the fact that I enjoy Mommy Needs A Cocktail. Say it with me people! I LOVE MNAC!!!!!!

      There so much for my therpay this week.

      July 24th, 2008 at 5:55 am

    35. CFFG (Melissa) says:

      Ok Holly – now you’re in for a little education on chocolate.

      That’s MY chocolate those boys are eating. It’s the highest quality, Belgian made, preservative free and 58% cocoa solid. Of course if you view that video full screen, you’ll notice it’s dark chocolate, which is also heart-healthy. I get over 2,000 lbs. when I import it so there’s plenty to share with friends.

      From your post: “something as petty as getting into chocolate” “maximum security prison for eating chocolate” “your child can eat a ton of chocolate in two minutes” “The boy clearly says he ate a lot and it seems pretty apparent they both had” “hiding chocolate doesn’t make them some sort of super genius”

      Wow! You must eat an inferior chocolate in your house. Hey, are your children allowed to eat chocolate? Alone or must they be supervised?

      I’ve got an idea … I’ll send you some of this amazing imported Belgian chocolate, Kristen will send you her video recorder and we can all place bets on whether or not your children would do the exact same thing. In fact, I’ll bet you’d be caught with some chocolate on your face too!

      You game??

      July 24th, 2008 at 6:05 am

    36. Danyelle- The Cake Lady says:

      Holly-
      Let’s just agree to disagree. You clearly have nothing better to do then read this blog and rag on Kristen (in doing so, you have succeeded in pissing off CounterClckwise too). Or you just can’t get enough of our adorable and BRILLIANT children. I suggest you either stop reading the blog if it upsets you that much or stay tuned for updates on “The Boy Terrors”. Kristen, maybe we need to video Ethan disassembling the dishwasher and putting back together or Harrison’s daily Spanish lessons. Or what about them swimming with no floaties?

      Cffg-you are right, not only are the boys hilarious and witty, but they have divine taste. Too funny!

      July 24th, 2008 at 6:38 am

    37. tara livesay says:

      humorless – check
      joyless – check
      misses the point of sarcasm – check

      Kristen-
      Sarcasm is a spiritual gift. Some people just don’t read their Bibles so they don’t know it.

      ;)

      Seeking to be difficult to offend,
      tara

      July 24th, 2008 at 7:30 am

    38. kate says:

      Oh, Holly, perhaps you don’t realize how hurtful your comments are. What credentials do you possess that entitle you to make such severe judgments? Are you the anti-Spock?

      I guess your words struck a cord with me because I dated a son of a mother once who sounded just like you. Repercussions, discipline, being the “adult”. She, too, was predisposed to making judgments, unyielding and harsh. And her son learned to follow rules, please others and be correct. Yet he never valued kindness or truth. I bet he stills takes off his shoes before entering the house. And I wager he is insensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others.

      Kristen is creating her legacy, Holly. One filled with unfailing love and devotion. Rich with kindness and goodness. Of laughter, humor and yes, perhaps a little defiance of authority.

      What legacy will you leave, Holly?

      In the immortal words of Cary Grant:

      “You’ll never be a first class human being or a first class woman until you’ve learned to have some regard for human frailty.”

      July 24th, 2008 at 7:31 am

    39. tara livesay says:

      p.s.
      I posted a video of Noah explaining to us that he has no conscience. I might be next to get angry mail from Holly. I hope your fan club jumps to my defense too!

      July 24th, 2008 at 7:32 am

    40. My Baby Pajamas says:

      I like “drinking for two” comment. Don’t take things or yourself too seriously. Life’s too short, Enjoy!

      July 24th, 2008 at 9:32 am

    41. Amy says:

      I find it rather funny that Holly was so disturbed by the site but yet she came back again after her post and then posted again! She couldn’t of been that disturbed if she came back for more humor!

      I think the boys are hilarious. And I’m with you – my kids get into something and I’m the first to run and grab the camera and hope that I can still catch them in the act.

      July 24th, 2008 at 10:19 am

    42. Vicky says:

      I agree with Amy on both counts. I always grab the camera, too bad I missed posting about the naked finger-painting my daughter did on our deck a week ago and then how she hosed herself down and peed off the side of it. Must be clean to pee I suppose.

      My only bone to pick on this post is the Joan Crawford comment. :) Being a minor Joan expert I have to say that the pieces written by her other children- not Christina of Mommie Dearest fame- blow the doors off that “myth”. Read- “Not the Girl Next Door” and you’ll see.

      July 24th, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    43. Danielle says:

      WHAT!?!

      You use “extreme exaggeration” on your blog? You put your kids on the internet in this day and age?

      the hell? You should lose your mommy license, fer shur. I’m taking my ball and going home!

      Seriously, love the interrogation video. requesting more.

      And to Captain Troll Buzz Kill: Lurk elsewhere. Clearly this isn’t the blog for you.

      July 24th, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    44. Meg says:

      I guess Holly’s superior parenting approach is the exact one that we all should be emulating. Yes?

      Different strokes for different folks, Holly. Variety is the spice of life. If everyone did it Holly’s way, think of how boring life would be.

      Think of how boring this blog would be! :-0

      July 25th, 2008 at 4:53 am

    45. Carl says:

      “Mommy Needs a Twelve Step Program” would be a good idea for a blog. But Britney Spears may already have a lock on that market.

      July 25th, 2008 at 5:00 am

    46. Kat says:

      I know it’s a little cliche, but oh well…you know, everyone has opinions like they have assholes…apparently her ass big enough to be worn on her head (asshat).

      All of this shit is way early in the day…y’all have driven me to wanting a cocktail. Love your site..gonna add ya to my ‘roll.

      July 25th, 2008 at 5:44 am

    47. Mocha says:

      Mommy Needs To Take The Stick Out Of Her Ass.

      That’s the site that woman needs to write. I would tune in daily for her exploits of such extractions.

      You, Kristen, are such a wonderful mom! What other mother would let a perfect stranger make out with her baby son in a BBQ joint?

      YOU. That’s who.

      July 25th, 2008 at 6:07 am

    48. missi says:

      Oh my.
      I’ve got 3 under 8 (with number 4 due any day) and EVERY TIME I come to this site, I laugh and think- thank GOD I’m not the only one! When the bewitched hour comes (you know- late afternoon right before dinner until dinner when it feels like you’re trapped in Twilight Zone episode) it is good to know that it is okay to have grace/mercy on my kids when they’ve done something so ridiculously funny that I can make the choice to get frustrated and punish and kill their spirit OR take a breath in and smile and grab a camera to capture the moment and enjoy it even more when they grow up.
      Kristen, I don’t know you, but if we lived closer, I think we’d be friends- you’re doing a great job raising your boys and not breaking their spirits. Keep it up.
      Holly, you’ve been slammed pretty hard. I hope that you find the balance between discipline and grace and don’t kill your kids’ spirits.

      July 25th, 2008 at 8:00 am

    49. jen lemen says:

      for starters, i thought the video was the funniest thing i have ever seen. and if eating chocolate and then hiding it is a crime, then let the holly without sin cast the first stone.

      i know firsthand kristen is a delightful parent, with a good sense of humor and a serious, unfailing commitment to love her boys with all her heart. i hope for her sake the holly controversy sends her ridiculous amounts of traffic, so that thousands more readers can discover more of the same. that, and a casting agent for thing one and thing two. those boys rock.

      July 25th, 2008 at 7:50 pm

    50. YMGH says:

      I love and adore a person who;
      Without question, gives the shirt off their back
      Drops everything to help the hurting or needy
      Gives without needing recognition
      Stands up for justice no matter who stands with them
      Struggles but never gives up
      Is funny and so much fun to be with!
      Loves their family
      Wants to learn, grow and change
      Sounds tough on the outside but their heart is so big it reaches their skin
      Has great passion
      Believes
      Encourages
      Stands beside their children and knows they are the brightest, smartest kids that ever lived.

      Holly..we don’t all enjoy the same humor nor raise our children the same way. You can have an opinion about the blog but cannot make judgements until you truly know Kristen. Then you will know her as I do, she is clearly the person I described above, and Ethan and Nathan are the cutest, brightest, most amazing little boys ever!

      July 26th, 2008 at 10:09 am

    51. Dave Lemen says:

      Come on now. Let’s all brush up on our B.F. Skinner behavioralism. Everyone knows that *partial* reinforcement schedules show greater resistance to extinction (duh!).
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement#Schedules_of_reinforcement

      If you sprinkle a little YouTube interrogation in with your otherwise consistent discipline, your kids will be better-behaved in the long run.

      Oh, and they won’t grow up to hate you.

      …and BTW, if krystyn keeps Rick-rolling me, I’m going to stop clicking YouTube links forever! (Unless she’s inconsistent, of course.)

      July 26th, 2008 at 11:46 am

    52. Blackhatseo says:

      Added. Nice work on this one. Btw, my blog is dofollow, stop by and grab a link. Bompa

      July 26th, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    53. the mama bird diaries says:

      You say girl! Well done. :)

      July 26th, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    54. jess says:

      Girl…I really need to revive my video camera so that we can get a market on pissing people off. Believe me…boys will be boys.

      Keep on keeping on…you cant make everyone happy…I’ve tried!

      July 27th, 2008 at 5:11 am

    55. slackermommy says:

      Aww, Holly must have been having a bad day. She’s not feeling so good about her own mothering skills so she had to put another mom down to feel better. I think Holly needs a chill pill.

      July 27th, 2008 at 7:28 pm

    56. PeaPieColumbia says:

      Wow. And I thought I was uptight. Wow. I think MNAC rocks, and I think it’s unfortunate that Holly feels the need to dump on another mom when she knows how stressful it can be on all of us, and that we all need comic relief! Off to have my own cocktail (in the throes of twos myself!).

      PS- those boys are going to find that video HILARIOUS later on!

      July 27th, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    57. Tracee Sioux says:

      Sounds like a piece of parenting advice I got on my blog about how I should “put my things up out of reach” to prevent my 2 year old from drowning the 3rd cell phone.

      I can imagine a house where everything in it is on 11 foot scaffolding – but, I know my 2 year old would find his way up there to get whatever he wanted. Child “proofed” is evidently for docile and unimaginative children.

      July 27th, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    58. flutterby says:

      Oh lovely. Sanctimonious people who wouldn’t know what to do with a child if it walked up and handed them a “How To”. As someone else commented, she probably doesn’t even HAVE kids… which we all know is a good thing so far for all those yet to be born children out there, one of whom could end up being hers. At least it will give them plenty to talk about to their therapist some day. Alcohol? Couldn’t have survived the last 30 years without it from time to time. Holly can just BITE me on THAT topic.

      July 28th, 2008 at 5:27 am

    59. Shannon says:

      Clearly Holly has no clue at all whatsoever!!! She has never stood in her kitchen and talked to her brother-in-law for 5.3 seconds only to discover after he leaves that one of her twins has found a roll of stamps and has decorated every cabinet, the fridge, the hardwood floor, the glass door, and the sink right in front of your face. Yeah…. about forty dollars worth… in plain sight. Glad the hubs was there too, he never would have believed I was in the same room as the perp.

      July 28th, 2008 at 5:49 am

    60. that girl says:

      your blog/your rules, your kids/your rules

      suck it, holly.

      ps – all the kids look like you? (giveaway answer)

      twitter me: thatgirlblogs
      shuey6 at comcast dot net

      July 28th, 2008 at 8:49 am

    61. Dad says:

      Hi Kris,

      I want to send some finger paint to “The Boy’s” (Ethan, Nathen and Harrison)…do I address it to the crate or to the fort.

      I watched the video’s You and Dereck have got it right. These guy’s are not bad…they are healhty!

      Of course this is coming from a guy who painted a dishwasher, refrigerater and his sister red with his hands (couldn’t find a paint bush) from a paint can when he was four.

      The moral is this…life is to be lived, experienced and enjoyed…yes with an element of control but not crushed!

      Love Dad

      July 28th, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    62. Jenni says:

      OMG, that Holly is one funny gal.

      Um yeah, total sarcasm there.

      I’m sure her kids are perfect– well, if she has any.

      Loved your witty reponse to her.

      July 28th, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    63. bejewell says:

      What the hell is going on in the Blogosphere lately? Has everyone just lost their minds?

      This Holly chick is nucking futs! Screw you, Holly!

      July 28th, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    64. tangie c says:

      I think both kids look like you in different ways! Thanks for the fun giveaway and all of the discussions it entailed!!!!!

      July 28th, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    65. Meg's Soupy Husband says:

      Kristen,
      HA! What a fine post that was. My wife gets some doozies on her blog as well. I am sure Holly’s didactic diatribe has left you…utterly swayed now, yes?

      Shh. Ya’ll please keep Holly away from my proposed new blog site:

      DaddyNeedsToStealSomethingSoonToSupport HisCrackHabitAndGamblingProblem.net

      Same idea. Cocktails are a “Gateway Sin,” (yes I just made that up) inevitably leading to harder, non-legal, sins.

      Curt McCormick

      July 29th, 2008 at 10:21 am

    66. jessica says:

      i thought the video was really cute.

      July 29th, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    67. Shannanb aka Mommy Bits says:

      Wow. If she had a problem with your blog she could have just clicked the big red X on the top right corner.

      I loved your response. Most Excellent.

      July 29th, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    68. Chantel from ON, Canada says:

      I was on a little “blog walk” and stumbled across yours – and your entry to Holly. :D
      First off…Holly just doesn’t get it…and you do!!! Thank you for this entry – I needed to read that this is the story of someone else’s life too! Just yesterday I finished steam cleaning the paint out of my 3 year old son’s bedroom carpet, I haven’t quite got all the red Sharpe off the bedroom walls (although rubbing alcohol took it right off the white kitchen cupboards and refridgerator!), and there is still a prominent pink and blue stain on my beige bedroom carpet from where he dumped all the ink from the colour ink printer refill kit…and you have NO IDEA how risky I’m being taking the time to type this right now because HE IS AWAKE – and is able to open two door locks and get outside before I can use the washroom and run back to check on him (without even washing my hands!). It’s just insanity…but it makes me feel better knowing that you “get it” too. I pray that Holly is one day blessed with a “high energy” boy…LOL :D

      July 30th, 2008 at 9:49 am

    69. Barbara says:

      I maybe a little behind in finding this site and commenting here–but, I want to say YEAH Kristen. Years ago I had a situation in Denver where I was at the store and my then 23 month old daughter was continuously slapping my hands. I had had enough, so at the check out I lightly slapped one of her hands and gave a firm “NO”. The lady ahead of me waited outside the store and chased me down to my car yelling that she had a number I could call so I didn’t end up abusing my child. She admitted that although she didn’t have children, she could see abuse coming. I think I told her something like if she didn’t get out of my face, SHE would get a taste of abuse first hand. (I had also just had a miscarriage that morning.) Well, anyway, my young daughter was also one of those “effing” brilliant children (still is) who was always keeping me going nonstop. She is now a very well adjusted 20 year old mother of her own little boy. Her younger siblings (boy -15yo and girl-10yo) were extremely easy compared to her. And, yes, we went through our share of counseling also–especially as a sinlge mother in Denver, CO. To the “know-it-alls”, I would like to know what perfect handbook you received with your perfect children when the stork delivered them. In the mean time the rest of us have to stay on our toes with the little ones and try not to show how we are actually laughing inside when stuff happens as we are trying to discipline them lovingly. Keep up the good work MOMS.

      Barbara from Bend, OR

      July 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am

    70. Chelsey says:

      You gotta love unasked for advice from perfect parents. My 4 yr old and 2 yr old are super curious, active etc etc…. Some kids don’t get into trouble ‘at all’ and others are so creative they make it from scratch!

      My unasked for advice to you — You need to major on the majors and minor on the minors. Eating chocolate is a minor in my books. Now had your son lied about it that would have been more serious.

      Super amusing (stifle laugh) — when your 4 year old denies eating chocolate but it’s all over her face!!!

      July 30th, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    71. Audrey says:

      If you only knew how hard I was laughing over here.

      My girls are older now, they are 18 and 25. I can not count the number of times another mom snubbed her nose at me thinking I was just horrible as a mom. My kids of course were telling me all the things her child was doing without her knowing. I knew what my kids were doing. She didn’t. But that’s ok, her nose got a suntan ROFL.

      Great post :)

      July 31st, 2008 at 7:13 am

    72. Dawn says:

      I just found it, and LOVE your site! Screw the haters, they don’t know what it’s like to have headstrong, independent, and creative children.

      August 1st, 2008 at 11:27 am

    73. mommapolitico says:

      Gotta say that one of my all-time fave kid vids is one of Little Man sitting on top of the clean laundry in the basket, sucking back the squirt bottle of Hershey’s Syrup like he was a little baby wino. That’s what I get for having the gall to take a 2 minute shower…Thank God I had the presence of mind and sense of humor to tape it!
      Rock on, Girlfriend! Keep on tapin’!

      August 1st, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    74. Verona says:

      I love (not!) the way it’s always the mom’s fault when a child misbehaves, and if she were only a better parent….

      Can’t stand the “blame the mommy” attitude that’s so prevalent in this country! LOVE your blog!

      BTW: I took two minutes to make a phone call today, started hearing splashing in the bathroom, went in there and found my three-year-old “cleaning” the toilet with his pee still in it. BAD MOMMY!

      August 2nd, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    75. Daniela says:

      Kristen,
      very shortly: your blog is absolutely fantastic, it makes my day everyday, it even teaches me how to deal with my baby boy. But most important, I am always amazed about how much you deeply truly utterly love your children. And how you beautifully share – and disseminate – these amount of love with others, with your daily laughs and good humour and a joy for life. I thank you – every day – for that! Really!
      Love, Daniela

      August 3rd, 2008 at 4:57 am

    76. Cheryl says:

      Hi Kristen! I’m a fairly new reader, but holy crap do I love your blog (especially the title and the post about the three boys and the lawnmower)! My oldest son is of the type that he’s been taking his toys apart (literally) since before he was two, and I’m afraid if he ever got his five-year-old hands on a screwdriver, my truck would be in a zillion pieces all over the yard. Son #2 is looking as if he may be even worse than #1, and he’s only three months old. He watches son #1 like a hawk, too..YAY.

      As for people like Holly, the hell with them if they can’t take a joke!

      May 10th, 2011 at 9:07 am

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