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    Cause people have so many things to say to me

    July 23, 2008

     I was worried that everyone might not see Holly’s comment below so I wanted to make sure it got the attention it deserved and people were free to comment on my bad parenting accordingly.

    Holly says:I just want to say that I find your site rather disturbing. Ok, I understand the whole “mommy needs a cocktail” or beer, wine, etc. to take the edge off when you’ve had a bad day…but to exploit how bad your kids are on the site is just horrible. If your child has done something he knows he shouldn’t have done (or even if he didn’t know since it seems he’s 3?) then you discipline him. Making an “interrogation” video and posting it on your site is not going to fix any problem that comes up. It’s clear as day that the boys find it funny they are being questioned. It’s almost as if you want them to misbehave so you have something new to post on your blog.

    I’d say you don’t half-ass parent…you’re a fraction of that even. You clearly need something more than a cocktail (i.e. counselor, supernanny, etc.) to show you the ropes on how to raise a child in this world.

    Holly,

    Thanks so much for your thoughtful comments about my parenting. As a new reader to Mommy Needs a Cocktail (which I can only assume based on the fact that you think “Mommy Needs a Cocktail” is about taking a drink to take the edge off of your day), I’ll take this opportunity to bring you up to date on what this blog is about. Mommy Needs a Cocktail is about that moment of the day when all is lost. When you have just finished cleaning the marker off the wall to find that someone else has gotten into the paint and has redecorated the dining room. Shockingly, it does not refer to cracking open a fifth of scotch at breakfast to make it through the day. I don’t really need it. But thanks for the permission to do it.

    Referring to the exploitation of how “bad” my children are, I would like to clarify that only one of those “bad” children is mine and the other “bad seed” is the neighbor kid. Had you suggested that perhaps I should start watching my children better, that would have been a valid suggestion. I do need therapy, Holly, but it isn’t to teach me how to discipline my “bad” children who have gotten into toothpaste or chocolate because their mother left the room for two minutes.

    I did go to a shrink about my child, Holly, after watching him unlock one door by methodically working his way through a ring of 20 keys in under 40 seconds. You know what she told me? That he was so effing off-the-charts brilliant that my entire life will be filled with toothpaste incidents and hidden chocolate, unless I locked him in the closet. And since we don’t aspire to Joan Crawford-like parenting, we are going to go with redirection as a form of corrective behavior.

    I guess I could have beat his ass for finding chocolate and eating it with his equally brilliant friend while I was changing his brother’s diaper, but I think I’m going to have to pass.

    As for the interrogations, they will never stop.  ‘Cause they are freaking hilarious.

    Thanks for your suggestions.  I’ll be filing them where they belong.  The internet is so awesome.  It gives you the power to say exactly what is floating around in your mind, without concern for social norms, graciousness or filters. Not that she was judging….

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    76 Comments »

    1. Dave Lemen says:

      Come on now. Let’s all brush up on our B.F. Skinner behavioralism. Everyone knows that *partial* reinforcement schedules show greater resistance to extinction (duh!).
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement#Schedules_of_reinforcement

      If you sprinkle a little YouTube interrogation in with your otherwise consistent discipline, your kids will be better-behaved in the long run.

      Oh, and they won’t grow up to hate you.

      …and BTW, if krystyn keeps Rick-rolling me, I’m going to stop clicking YouTube links forever! (Unless she’s inconsistent, of course.)

      July 26th, 2008 at 11:46 am

    2. Blackhatseo says:

      Added. Nice work on this one. Btw, my blog is dofollow, stop by and grab a link. Bompa

      July 26th, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    3. the mama bird diaries says:

      You say girl! Well done. 🙂

      July 26th, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    4. jess says:

      Girl…I really need to revive my video camera so that we can get a market on pissing people off. Believe me…boys will be boys.

      Keep on keeping on…you cant make everyone happy…I’ve tried!

      July 27th, 2008 at 5:11 am

    5. slackermommy says:

      Aww, Holly must have been having a bad day. She’s not feeling so good about her own mothering skills so she had to put another mom down to feel better. I think Holly needs a chill pill.

      July 27th, 2008 at 7:28 pm

    6. PeaPieColumbia says:

      Wow. And I thought I was uptight. Wow. I think MNAC rocks, and I think it’s unfortunate that Holly feels the need to dump on another mom when she knows how stressful it can be on all of us, and that we all need comic relief! Off to have my own cocktail (in the throes of twos myself!).

      PS- those boys are going to find that video HILARIOUS later on!

      July 27th, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    7. Tracee Sioux says:

      Sounds like a piece of parenting advice I got on my blog about how I should “put my things up out of reach” to prevent my 2 year old from drowning the 3rd cell phone.

      I can imagine a house where everything in it is on 11 foot scaffolding – but, I know my 2 year old would find his way up there to get whatever he wanted. Child “proofed” is evidently for docile and unimaginative children.

      July 27th, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    8. flutterby says:

      Oh lovely. Sanctimonious people who wouldn’t know what to do with a child if it walked up and handed them a “How To”. As someone else commented, she probably doesn’t even HAVE kids… which we all know is a good thing so far for all those yet to be born children out there, one of whom could end up being hers. At least it will give them plenty to talk about to their therapist some day. Alcohol? Couldn’t have survived the last 30 years without it from time to time. Holly can just BITE me on THAT topic.

      July 28th, 2008 at 5:27 am

    9. Shannon says:

      Clearly Holly has no clue at all whatsoever!!! She has never stood in her kitchen and talked to her brother-in-law for 5.3 seconds only to discover after he leaves that one of her twins has found a roll of stamps and has decorated every cabinet, the fridge, the hardwood floor, the glass door, and the sink right in front of your face. Yeah…. about forty dollars worth… in plain sight. Glad the hubs was there too, he never would have believed I was in the same room as the perp.

      July 28th, 2008 at 5:49 am

    10. that girl says:

      your blog/your rules, your kids/your rules

      suck it, holly.

      ps – all the kids look like you? (giveaway answer)

      twitter me: thatgirlblogs
      shuey6 at comcast dot net

      July 28th, 2008 at 8:49 am

    11. Dad says:

      Hi Kris,

      I want to send some finger paint to “The Boy’s” (Ethan, Nathen and Harrison)…do I address it to the crate or to the fort.

      I watched the video’s You and Dereck have got it right. These guy’s are not bad…they are healhty!

      Of course this is coming from a guy who painted a dishwasher, refrigerater and his sister red with his hands (couldn’t find a paint bush) from a paint can when he was four.

      The moral is this…life is to be lived, experienced and enjoyed…yes with an element of control but not crushed!

      Love Dad

      July 28th, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    12. Jenni says:

      OMG, that Holly is one funny gal.

      Um yeah, total sarcasm there.

      I’m sure her kids are perfect– well, if she has any.

      Loved your witty reponse to her.

      July 28th, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    13. bejewell says:

      What the hell is going on in the Blogosphere lately? Has everyone just lost their minds?

      This Holly chick is nucking futs! Screw you, Holly!

      July 28th, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    14. tangie c says:

      I think both kids look like you in different ways! Thanks for the fun giveaway and all of the discussions it entailed!!!!!

      July 28th, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    15. Meg's Soupy Husband says:

      Kristen,
      HA! What a fine post that was. My wife gets some doozies on her blog as well. I am sure Holly’s didactic diatribe has left you…utterly swayed now, yes?

      Shh. Ya’ll please keep Holly away from my proposed new blog site:

      DaddyNeedsToStealSomethingSoonToSupport HisCrackHabitAndGamblingProblem.net

      Same idea. Cocktails are a “Gateway Sin,” (yes I just made that up) inevitably leading to harder, non-legal, sins.

      Curt McCormick

      July 29th, 2008 at 10:21 am

    16. jessica says:

      i thought the video was really cute.

      July 29th, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    17. Shannanb aka Mommy Bits says:

      Wow. If she had a problem with your blog she could have just clicked the big red X on the top right corner.

      I loved your response. Most Excellent.

      July 29th, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    18. Chantel from ON, Canada says:

      I was on a little “blog walk” and stumbled across yours – and your entry to Holly. 😀
      First off…Holly just doesn’t get it…and you do!!! Thank you for this entry – I needed to read that this is the story of someone else’s life too! Just yesterday I finished steam cleaning the paint out of my 3 year old son’s bedroom carpet, I haven’t quite got all the red Sharpe off the bedroom walls (although rubbing alcohol took it right off the white kitchen cupboards and refridgerator!), and there is still a prominent pink and blue stain on my beige bedroom carpet from where he dumped all the ink from the colour ink printer refill kit…and you have NO IDEA how risky I’m being taking the time to type this right now because HE IS AWAKE – and is able to open two door locks and get outside before I can use the washroom and run back to check on him (without even washing my hands!). It’s just insanity…but it makes me feel better knowing that you “get it” too. I pray that Holly is one day blessed with a “high energy” boy…LOL 😀

      July 30th, 2008 at 9:49 am

    19. Barbara says:

      I maybe a little behind in finding this site and commenting here–but, I want to say YEAH Kristen. Years ago I had a situation in Denver where I was at the store and my then 23 month old daughter was continuously slapping my hands. I had had enough, so at the check out I lightly slapped one of her hands and gave a firm “NO”. The lady ahead of me waited outside the store and chased me down to my car yelling that she had a number I could call so I didn’t end up abusing my child. She admitted that although she didn’t have children, she could see abuse coming. I think I told her something like if she didn’t get out of my face, SHE would get a taste of abuse first hand. (I had also just had a miscarriage that morning.) Well, anyway, my young daughter was also one of those “effing” brilliant children (still is) who was always keeping me going nonstop. She is now a very well adjusted 20 year old mother of her own little boy. Her younger siblings (boy -15yo and girl-10yo) were extremely easy compared to her. And, yes, we went through our share of counseling also–especially as a sinlge mother in Denver, CO. To the “know-it-alls”, I would like to know what perfect handbook you received with your perfect children when the stork delivered them. In the mean time the rest of us have to stay on our toes with the little ones and try not to show how we are actually laughing inside when stuff happens as we are trying to discipline them lovingly. Keep up the good work MOMS.

      Barbara from Bend, OR

      July 30th, 2008 at 11:38 am

    20. Chelsey says:

      You gotta love unasked for advice from perfect parents. My 4 yr old and 2 yr old are super curious, active etc etc…. Some kids don’t get into trouble ‘at all’ and others are so creative they make it from scratch!

      My unasked for advice to you — You need to major on the majors and minor on the minors. Eating chocolate is a minor in my books. Now had your son lied about it that would have been more serious.

      Super amusing (stifle laugh) — when your 4 year old denies eating chocolate but it’s all over her face!!!

      July 30th, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    21. Audrey says:

      If you only knew how hard I was laughing over here.

      My girls are older now, they are 18 and 25. I can not count the number of times another mom snubbed her nose at me thinking I was just horrible as a mom. My kids of course were telling me all the things her child was doing without her knowing. I knew what my kids were doing. She didn’t. But that’s ok, her nose got a suntan ROFL.

      Great post 🙂

      July 31st, 2008 at 7:13 am

    22. Dawn says:

      I just found it, and LOVE your site! Screw the haters, they don’t know what it’s like to have headstrong, independent, and creative children.

      August 1st, 2008 at 11:27 am

    23. mommapolitico says:

      Gotta say that one of my all-time fave kid vids is one of Little Man sitting on top of the clean laundry in the basket, sucking back the squirt bottle of Hershey’s Syrup like he was a little baby wino. That’s what I get for having the gall to take a 2 minute shower…Thank God I had the presence of mind and sense of humor to tape it!
      Rock on, Girlfriend! Keep on tapin’!

      August 1st, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    24. Verona says:

      I love (not!) the way it’s always the mom’s fault when a child misbehaves, and if she were only a better parent….

      Can’t stand the “blame the mommy” attitude that’s so prevalent in this country! LOVE your blog!

      BTW: I took two minutes to make a phone call today, started hearing splashing in the bathroom, went in there and found my three-year-old “cleaning” the toilet with his pee still in it. BAD MOMMY!

      August 2nd, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    25. Daniela says:

      Kristen,
      very shortly: your blog is absolutely fantastic, it makes my day everyday, it even teaches me how to deal with my baby boy. But most important, I am always amazed about how much you deeply truly utterly love your children. And how you beautifully share – and disseminate – these amount of love with others, with your daily laughs and good humour and a joy for life. I thank you – every day – for that! Really!
      Love, Daniela

      August 3rd, 2008 at 4:57 am

    26. Cheryl says:

      Hi Kristen! I’m a fairly new reader, but holy crap do I love your blog (especially the title and the post about the three boys and the lawnmower)! My oldest son is of the type that he’s been taking his toys apart (literally) since before he was two, and I’m afraid if he ever got his five-year-old hands on a screwdriver, my truck would be in a zillion pieces all over the yard. Son #2 is looking as if he may be even worse than #1, and he’s only three months old. He watches son #1 like a hawk, too..YAY.

      As for people like Holly, the hell with them if they can’t take a joke!

      May 10th, 2011 at 9:07 am

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