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    Where, oh where have my car keys gone? Oh, where, or where can they be?

    June 26, 2008

    The car keys are gone again. What moron has one key to a car? Oh, that would be the moron who is still living in her basement because she is too cheap to fix her air conditioner and doesn’t want to pay $300 for a car key.

    Miss America/The Cake Lady: Why don’t you get a key made? I’LL pay for a key to be made.
    K: Um, it costs $300.
    MA/TCL: Not if you get a regular key.
    K: But I can’t find anyone to make one for me. Other than the dealership.
    MA/TCL: Oh, WE can find someone who will do it. I can promise you that.

    I’ll just save us all time now and tell you where it was the last time I remember. Hopefully The Husband will read this on his way home from work on the train and won’t ask me. The Baby got his grimy little paws on the wallet/key combo just after I gave Josh all my money. As I watched The Baby attempt to take everything out of the wallet, I snatched it away from him. And then everything goes to gray.

    Let’s face it. Today is just like any other day. Any other day except that I needed to drop off Kimberly’s shirts to her at The Party Store Logan’s Costco. Even Sarah tried to help me find them. She tried to help me find them by cleaning my kitchen. Sarah is Miss America’s sister. Nothing. But now all my dishes are clean.

    I called Chocolate Fountain Fairy Godmother.

    CFFG: At least if it was The Baby, you only have to look close to the ground.
    K: Actually I just found a wine glass on the top shelf of the cabinet above the sink. I’m gonna have to say all bets are off here.

    Miss America offered to take me to the train station to pick up the truck. She actually offered to take me all the way to Costco. Kimberly offered to come get the shirts. Sheesh. We were on our way out the door when L.A. drove past. She slammed on her brakes and the window came down.

    LA: What are you girls doing?
    K: She’s gonna take me to the train station to pick up the truck because I can’t find the car keys.
    LA: Does that thing even have gas in it (pointing to the parked Volvo)?

    She was referencing the other day when my husband was supposed to take the car to the train station so I could spend $9 in gas to drop stuff off at recycling. He couldn’t take the car because it wouldn’t start. It wouldn’t start because it was out of gas. HEY!!! $3.89 a gallon will hit you in the ovaries. I don’t want to pay that. Which meant the car went down to below empty and wouldn’t start. I have the $1.89 a gallon gas my husband bought way back when for the lawn mower but I’ll be damned if I am going to put gas in the car if I can’t even find a damn key to start it. Know what I am saying?

    K: No. No, it doesn’t have gas in it.

    MA/TCL: You haven’t put gas in it yet?

    K: Why would I put gas in it?

    I have been through three trash cans and have done everything shy of turning him upside down and shaking to see if they fall off of some part of him.  I’m giving it 24 more hours, then I’m taking the car off of the insurance.  I mean, I can be saving all sorts of money around here.  And the only thing I’m losing is my sanity.

    10 Comments »

    1. Kimberly says:

      Oh crap…I was really holding out hope for the trashcans. DAMN!!!!

      Thank you for my tanks. I love, love, love them :)

      June 26th, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    2. Meg says:

      One time I lost my keys and we found them on the road. I had left them on top of the roof of the car, having placed them there to load various children and things into the car, and we heard them zip off the top.

      Oh wait – it was TWO times that happened!

      June 26th, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    3. Petroville » Blog Archive » Costco Changed Me Today says:

      [...] said that she lost her keys (not she, her sweet boy) but she was sure she would find them at meet us at the restaurant. An hour [...]

      June 26th, 2008 at 9:01 pm

    4. The Cake Lady says:

      I am going to go to Brookestone and get you one of the those key pagers. I think we can put one on your phone too…

      Well, I guess the good part about losing the keys is you are forced to stay home and boycott rising gas prices. And you are being a proenvironmentalist (is that a word?). AND it gives you a good reason to start the drinking early and you know how I feel about making sure AA has fresh blood.

      June 27th, 2008 at 5:36 am

    5. Barb says:

      I hate when I lose my keys..which I have done alot…but my hubby is even worse than me and you know men have no patience when looking for something??? If it doesn’t jump up at them then its not there…hahahah…
      hope you find them soon

      June 27th, 2008 at 8:27 am

    6. Marel says:

      It all sounds like a win-win situation.

      Your dishes got washed, right?

      I’d be good too.

      haha

      :)

      June 27th, 2008 at 11:10 am

    7. Manic Mommy says:

      Wait. Brookstone has a key find-y thing? Like the clapper? God, I need me one of those. I have yet to find a place to keep my purse that RC won’t find.

      June 27th, 2008 at 1:43 pm

    8. Cathy says:

      There are possibilities here…turn your pain into $$ (so you can afford that new Honda Hydrogen car – or the electric one coming soon…)

      How about a Mommy needs a Cocktail shirt with the pocket for your key or your CVS card or credit card, etc.? Make it a trendy little zipper pocket.

      Put it in a location that will make the Daddies want the play with the zipper….

      That’s all I’m sayin’

      June 27th, 2008 at 2:05 pm

    9. Mocha says:

      Just get one of those cars that you can leave the key in and push the button. They only cost eleventy million dollars. You got that, right?

      Sorry hon. I know. It’s no fun.

      June 28th, 2008 at 9:56 pm

    10. the mama bird diaries says:

      i really can’t help. my house keys have been missing for about a month. good luck. that stinks.

      June 29th, 2008 at 7:21 pm

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