I don’t watch tv with The Boy. Okay, occasionally I will watch Sesame Street with him if Johnny Reznik is performing with Elmo. I mean, who can resist that? But generally television is providing a babysitting function so I can get things done.
Except this morning. This morning my husband found my secret sleeping lair in the basement. Apparently I got 7 whole hours of uninterrupted sleep before he awakened me at 6:57. Problem? I mean, other than waking a sleeping woman at 6:57? The Boy found us 3 minutes later. Somehow we ended up laying on all the couches watching Diego. Diego and the Mother’s Day episode.
LOOK! Diego is going to teach your child about Mother’s Day!
The show starts with Diego helping the mamas find their babies. There is that Diego, standing 2 feet from a crocodile. ‘”Let’s help the crocodile find her babies!!!!!!”
The Husband looks at me with that look. He likes cartoons about as much as having a hole in his head. He is still bitching about Cars. I mean, why do we still have to explain that cars cannot talk? Seriously.
K: Ethan, you know that you can’t get near a crocodile, right?
You guys are laughing. Like The Boy would ever get near a crocodile? No, but when he goes to visit Opa and Marmie in Florida, he’ll see alligators. And what I really need is him walking up to an alligator in the Everglades and offering to help find its babies.
D: We have to find some old episodes of Animal Kingdom. That’ll teach him not to mess with wildlife.
We get beyond “hug the mama bear so she isn’t sad about missing her babies” and move on to the more important Mother’s Day theme. The horribly-behaving Bobos have forgotten Mother’s Day and now they must get back to their mother before she wakes up. I think it’s time to go to bullet format to list the bad behaviors….
- The Bobos left before their mother woke up and it will all be okay if they get back before their mother wakes up– —–Life Lesson: You can sneak out as long as you get back before your parents wake up.
- The Mom is sleeping. Why are we spending 30 minutes of the show going back to wake her up to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day? You know what a nice Mother’s Day present would be? If Mom could sleep a little longer and you freaking kids would stop getting into trouble.
- The red googly eyed frogs are stuck in tree sap because the Bobos were screwing with the bark earlier. Now they can’t reach that exotic one-of-a-kind purple flower to give THEIR mom for Mother’s Day. Why not fry up an exotic endangered animal as a special breakfast for mom too?
- And what’s up with Click, the camera that can see everything? Aren’t you just waiting for Rosie Perez, the voice of Click, to just burst into “Every Breath you take, every move you make, I’ll be watching you?”
Who knew I could find a show more annoying that Dora??