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    Had he any hair on his chest, the macaroni would be stuck in it

    March 18, 2008

    Macaroni Baby

    I see a pattern emerging.  I sit at my desk, I turn around and see a child eating.  Occasionally I put the child there (as in this instance).  Occasionally, not so much.

    This is my sick baby.  He has lost 10 percent of his body weight in 72 hours.  Which sounds a lot more dramatic than he has lost 2 pounds.  You would think that based on his shirt, he has lost 50% of his body weight.  He is practicing my mother’s motto–If you want people to think you have lost weight, wear big clothes.  Why it is unbuttoned down to his belly button so that you just want to put a heavy gold chain around his neck and call him “Paulie,” I don’t know. 

    I would like to lose 10 percent of my body weight in 72 hours.  But not by having a nasty gastrointestinal virus.

    This is the one moment he was happy today.  He basically wailed the rest of the day unless I walked around the house with him, singing the ABC song in his ear.  I took him to the doctor and he promptly began to feel better.  It reminded me of all those times our beater car would break down in high school and then my dad would drive it to see what was wrong and it would run better than a ’57 vette.  I hated that.  But I was glad to have the screaming stop.  That was positive. 

    Now he is sleeping.  Maybe I should sleep too.  I have to get up and take pictures of the kids of the kids at The Boy’s school tomorrow.  I’m sure his behavior will be stellar.  My mom said “too bad you don’t have a button maker.” 

    Well, it’s funny you should mention that. 

    My mother now has button machine envy. 

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    1. mel says:

      how come i never lose 10% of my body weight when i get a gastrointestinal “thing”?

      poor little guy. 🙁

      March 18th, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    2. jen lemen says:

      dammit, dad really was always annoying like that. also, too bad we spent all that time thinking e. looked like his father, when turns out he looks like the blond version of you and n. is in reality the polaroid picture. who knew?

      March 18th, 2008 at 7:02 pm

    3. Shannon says:

      Feel better little cutie!
      One year after our vacation, we thought my 10 year old had broken his ankle. He wouldn’t even TRY to walk on it. He moaned and cried and whined the whole four hours ride home. We got to the doctor’s office and he RAN down the hallway. I wanted to wring his little neck. Aaahhhhh!

      March 19th, 2008 at 4:14 am

    4. Manic Mommy says:

      I think I’d be willing to sacrifice a few days on the toilet to lose 10% of my body weight. Seriously.

      HRH is home sick today but miraculously feeling better since the point of no return. We’re headed to Target to buy a new video – MOTHER OF THE YEAR!

      March 19th, 2008 at 5:47 am

    5. krystyn says:

      Laughing. He almost looks like he’s trying to make his own gold chain out of macaroni there. Watch out — next thing you know he’s be smackin’ you on the ass and callin’ ya “toots”.

      March 20th, 2008 at 7:56 am

    6. Sarah, the Spunky Mommy says:

      I think it’s a conspiracy – I stayed home from work today with a sick child, called the doctor when they opened at 8:00 and when we went in – he was FINE. Nothing. Absolutely nothing wrong. She said “maybe he’s just grumpy today”. Yep…grumpy. That makes two of us.

      March 20th, 2008 at 11:47 am

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