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    Mommy Needs a Night in Jail

    January 17, 2008

    I got the text message yesterday. 

    “They are going to swear out a warrant if we don’t pay the parking ticket today.”

    Swear out a warrant?  On the Toyota?  Does the Toyota get to hear his rights first?  I pulled out the registration papers.  Yep, in both our names.  I call him up.

    K:  What the hell?
    D:  You didn’t pay it.
    K:  First I didn’t pay it because I just assumed I had 30 days.  Then I realized that I only had 5 days so I went online to pay it but they don’t have an online option.  Then I thought I would wait until the “You’d better pay this” reminder showed up.  Who the hell doesn’t have an online payment option?  The last check I wrote was to the plumber. 
    D:  I know.  I tried to pay it while you were gone.  Where’s the checkbook?
    K:  I could not tell you if my life depended on it. You know where a stamp is?
    D:  Nope.  Well, the reminder says they are going to “swear out a warrant.”
    K:  On who?  Both of us?  For what?  Not paying a $20 parking ticket?
    D:  I don’t know who they would arrest.

    This reminds me vaguely of the time I got caught exceeding the posted speed limit in Montana while on our cross country trip.  The cop very politely informed that I could “pay him now” and be on my way.  I thought he was joking.  I laughed.  He didn’t.  I mean my father used to tell stories about following the constable to see the magistrate, but come on.  That was the ’60’s.  Who has cash now?  If I can get an internet connection on my laptop, I’ll pay you your $27 via Paypal and print up a receipt on my handy dandy Canon portable printer? Thank God my husband is Mr. Responsibility and had $27 to keep me out of jail. And the cop was able to buy a round of donuts for his friends 20 minutes later. “The Little Lady was doing 17 over the speed limit.  Go on and get yourself some coffee too. WOOHOO!!”

    D: I figured you could just run into the police station and pay it after you drop The Boy off at school. It’s right there on the Avenue.
    K: No. No, it’s not. That’s the REAL police department. This is the City WITHIN the CITY police department.
    D: Where the hell is that?
    K: Lord if I know.

    It’s right across the street from the train station. The train station where The Husband got the ticket in the first place because he didn’t have his current registration sticker on the truck yet. It was November SECOND. They expired October 31. I believe we affectionately refer to this as “shooting fish in a barrel.”

    I decided to go over there and view my options. My friend Dana used to say that when the kids were little, she had visions of calling Protective Services and turning herself in on a Friday night. She figured she might be able to regain her sanity by Monday. I always thought that was very optimistic myself.

    It was the littlest building you have ever seen. Remember the jail cell in Capote? I could do two days in that. Assuming I could get an internet connection on my I-Phone….

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    1. TheAngelForever says:

      Good luck getting things taken care of. Oh, and thanks for reminding me to put my new registration sticker on my car. I have had it for a few weeks now and it must be there before February 1.

      January 17th, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    2. tvtown says:

      mmmm, jail…that sounds heavenly

      January 17th, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    3. Amy says:

      Egads, I wish we could pay traffic tickets via PayPal. That would make things soooo much easier.

      January 17th, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    4. Marelle says:

      I’m not saying that I’m a bona fide city girl or anything yet . . . but, I thinks yuze uh bona fide cuntry gul . . . I thought they would issue a warrant. They swear ’em out down there, huh?

      January 17th, 2008 at 5:35 pm

    5. sam says:

      Send them my way; they can arrest me and I won’t put up a fight. I could use the break.

      January 18th, 2008 at 10:07 am

    6. Manic Mommy says:

      Oh, I’ve had this before. In MA anyway, it’s a ‘non-arresting’ warrant.

      Translation: Do nothing until you need to re-register your car or renew your license.

      January 18th, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    7. Izzy says:

      I got stopped by a cop for the same reason once a few years back. I already received the sticker, but was too lazy to go outside and stick it. Besides, it seemed like a husband’s job, you know?

      The hubby told me he would stick it on the car, but never did. Anyway, I told the cop that. Thankfully, he let me go.

      On the ride home, I was wishing the hubby would get stopped by a cop too since his sticker wasn’t on either.

      January 18th, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    8. Val says:

      OMG…I just had this happen last week!
      I got pulled over in my driveway…yea I know…anyway, I got a ticket for speeding.
      Not into my driveway…but on the highway, and they followed me to my driveway.
      So anyway, forgot to pay it, went to Disney, thought oh well, I will take care of that when we get back.
      So, get back and in my mail is a warrant for my arrest…for a stupid ticket! Come on.
      So of course I wait until the last possible minute to pay it…on my way to work, with both kids screaming…serves them right…take that, I will bring my cranky kids in with me to pay your stupid ticket.
      Made them wish they were in jail!

      January 21st, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    9. InterstellarLass says:

      Wow. You’re more of a criminal than I am. My girlfriends and I had a slumber party Saturday night at a hotel. Security came to our room at 12:30 am. Didn’t matter that we could hear people in the lobby 6 floors up. The people next door didn’t like our joy.

      January 21st, 2008 at 7:39 pm

    10. tara says:

      OMG – I am obviously catching up with you today from my third-world wireless connection — and SO glad I did — you’ve made me laugh — three times! and I needed it.

      did you pay it yet? This story is so Troy and I … we deal with our issues in a similar manner — I would like to say it is wise — but in the end we have spent more time chasing around than if we would have just paid the damn thing up front. blah.

      January 24th, 2008 at 7:58 am

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