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    I’m so cold

    January 16, 2008

    Maybe it’s the bowl of ice cream I just had.  Really, don’t you just love a bowl of ice cream when it’s 62 degrees in your house and 34 degrees outside?  Those ice cream parlors that close for the winter so the owner can run his snow plow business?  Sissies.

    There’s ice cream in my house.  There is a lot of crap in my house that wasn’t here when I left for LA last Thursday.  How about the three pictures received via I-Phone of The Boy eating chocolate cake ON THE COUCH.  On the couch.  Did I mention he was on the couch?  I know that our couch is trashed since we had kids.  Pee, poop, ground-in Cheerios, pee, vomit, milk, pee.  But chocolate cake?  Really?  Seriously?  Chocolate cake? 

    Three different pictures of The Chocolate Cake Consumption.  Parts I, II and III. Over three days.  Why don’t you just poke my eye with a fondue fork already? 

    How about the hot dogs in the fridge?  Trader Joes nitrate free, but hot dogs nonetheless.  I may have served Chipotle for dinner three nights in a row since I got home but by God, that’s real beef.  Not beef parts.

    “Fruit” snacks.  The only fruit present being the SHAPE of the snack.  Look!  It LOOKS like an orange.  “MOM, CAN I HAVE FRUIT????”  Sure, you can have a banana.  “NO, MOM!!!  FRUIT SNACKS!!”  You may as well just take one of those 3 foot Pixie Stix, boil it down and smoke it through a pipe. 

    Apple juice.  See above.

    Beef jerky.  Which would be fine if they hadn’t bought dog beef jerky that looks just like the people beef jerky.  I’m almost positive it is the same stuff but seriously?  My apologies to The Baby who didn’t seem to notice a difference. 

    All The Boy’s shoes are missing but he does now know how to properly utilized a bottle opener. 

    Maybe I should go away more often.

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    1. Kimberly says:

      The other day I went into the basement to make sure the kids we still alive from so much Wii-ing and the smell of beef jerky hit me like a brick wall. Those are the days when I am reminded (strongly) that I am NOT in charge over here.

      January 16th, 2008 at 10:00 am

    2. Burgh Baby's Mom says:

      Ahh . . . fruit snacks. I just love when my husband bypasses the Toddler-accepted and preferred real bananas on his way to hand her a package of corn syrup and sugar in the shape of a banana. Makes me feel all sorts of warm and fuzzy inside.

      January 16th, 2008 at 10:47 am

    3. sara says:

      This sounds EXACTLY like what I would have come home to…You know if I actually EVER went anywhere!LOL!

      January 16th, 2008 at 11:29 am

    4. Autumn Dahlia says:

      OK, so if fruit snacks don’t count as fruit, does that mean that I have to strike out Runts too? Cause that will throw my food pyramid WAAAAAAY off.

      January 16th, 2008 at 11:34 am

    5. Izzy says:

      You know, the boys have to have some fun too since you were out having “fun”. LOL

      January 16th, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    6. Amy says:

      Bill Cosby has a funny bit about chocolate cake for breakfast. I think maybe Derek has heard this and thought it would be a nice experiment for The Boy.

      I didn’t say it was a good idea. Bill Cosby did!

      January 16th, 2008 at 12:20 pm

    7. Bella says:

      When am I going to learn NOT to slack off & check up on you during work hours? My incredably loud snort of laughter over the fruit snacks roused my sleeping boss & God knows we can’t have that kind of crap happening!

      You left the Father in charge of THE BOY. I just can’t believe he actually captured proof of the illegal activities for later use against him!

      January 16th, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    8. tvtown says:

      Is this father-bashing??? Yep, I’m pretty sure this is father-bashing.
      I’m boycotting this site for 20 minutes!

      January 17th, 2008 at 2:09 am

    9. Manic Mommy says:

      My MIL was the one who had HRH drinking Diet Coke because she knew I didn’t like all that sugar – You wanna see apoplectic!

      January 17th, 2008 at 11:43 am

    10. babymomma says:

      proof,once again, that I can never go anywhere without my children!!!! Every time I have a crazy thought like, hey! go on a yoga retreat or, it would be fun to go to one of those artist retreats,,, I will simply think,chocolate cake,,,,,couch!!!!!

      January 20th, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    11. Occidental Girl says:

      Mommy goes away and Daddy and the kiddo plays! You’re all, chocolate cake on the couch?!? Hot dogs?!? Good grief.

      They’re all, whatsamatta you?

      Love it.

      P.S. We’re having extremely cold weather, like a high of 17, and we just bought some ice cream! ‘Cause there’s nothing (much) better than eating ice cream in front of the toasty fire.

      My husband does not get it, but he bought the ice cream for us nontheless. Good man.

      January 21st, 2008 at 12:00 pm

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