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    Half-Assed Parenting Tip #2: Unless you are blind, it’s recommended to have at least one eye open at all times

    January 28, 2008

    So I’m in the shower this morning and The Baby is in his blue tub at the bottom of the shower.  The Boy has run off with my I-Phone to God only knows where.  The Boy suddenly reappears at the bathroom door without the phone.

    TB:  MomMomMom.  Your phone is on the green couch. 
    K:  Yeah, I would prefer to have my phone here.

    The Baby opens the shower door because, God FORBID, he miss anything.

    K:  Shut the door, Nate. 
    TB:  But it’s on the green couch.
    K:  Then I would like you to go down to the green couch and bring it back to this bathroom
    TB:  (quite cheery) OK, Mom. 

    And runs down the hall.  I need that phone back because when it locks, it only allows emergency calls.  I need to know if someone thought we were having an emergency and now some form of emergency response unit is showing up.  You know how the locals get fiesty about repeatedly showing up at your house for nothing. 

    I continue to wash my hair and as I close my eyes to rinse out the shampoo, I feel a cool, univited breeze on my body. I look down to find the shower door open and a very wet, very naked, very fat-assed Baby toddling precariously across the very slick bathroom floor.  Because if you have been walking for all of 3 weeks, you should jump right to the Wet Tile portion of the show.  The door flies open and The Boy hands me my phone. I look down to see that the Notes function is open and the word “Jugg” is written on the pad.  The Boy points to what he has written.  I yell to The Baby to get back into the shower and he yells, “MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY”  and starts to walk away faster.

    Their father would be so proud. 

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    1. Laura @ Laura Williams' Musings says:

      LOL!! Sounds like some morning!

      January 28th, 2008 at 7:22 am

    2. Marel says:

      Bravo! Bravo! Most of you are all showered for the day!! That’s way more than I would have accomplished by this time of day at home. I think I was conditioning Faith’s hair in the car this morning on the way to school. Have a helleva day, Girlie!

      January 28th, 2008 at 8:24 am

    3. Mahala says:

      I miss fat-assed babies.. well.. sometimes. Have a good one 🙂

      January 28th, 2008 at 9:51 am

    4. LifeAsIKnowIt says:

      LOL. Thanks for the laugh today!

      January 28th, 2008 at 11:43 am

    5. Kimberly says:

      He’s a reporter!! LOL

      January 28th, 2008 at 1:56 pm

    6. Marel says:

      I was also thinking the same thing as Mahala . . . I sometimes miss fat-assed babies.

      January 28th, 2008 at 2:40 pm

    7. Elaine says:

      I think I just peed myself a little.

      Showering is oh so much fun with two wee ones in the world. I often find myself yelling, “Can’t I just shower in peace? For the love of PETE!”

      Anyone know who Pete is?

      January 28th, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    8. Jennifer/The Word Cellar says:

      I’m in the throes of trying to decide whether or not to have a baby. Your blog? Excellent birth control! 🙂

      January 29th, 2008 at 12:47 am

    9. tvtown says:

      I can’t wait until she starts to crawl…I’m so dead.

      January 30th, 2008 at 2:31 am

    10. Kia says:

      Hi! I just heard about your blog through a friend and I totally love it (and you)! I have been cracking up in my cubicle so much that I’m sure my co-workers are wondering what the hell is wrong with me. Anyway, I’m a first-time mom of a 6 month old boy and it is so great to find someone out there who thinks the same way as I do. Thanks!

      January 30th, 2008 at 6:46 am

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