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    That damn Montessori school

    December 29, 2007

    I just walked into the other room and found The Baby swinging around an empty beer bottle. Funny thing is, he was IN HIS HIGH CHAIR. One would have to ask one’s self. How did The Baby get the beer bottle? He had tilted it over and gotten some drops on his high chair tray. He was running his arms covered in clothing over the entire tray.

    Slop, slop. slop.


    Even as I said it, I knew I was an idiot. I want you to know that. I KNEW I was an idiot.

    I ripped the bottle out of his hand and started to clean his tray. Except there was an overwhelming smell of Windex on his tray. Where his food was. I just assumed that the foam on the tray was beer. Wrong. So now the baby is swimming through Windex and Sierra Nevada while eating his chicken noodle soup.

    K: DEREK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    D: (turning to The Boy and noticing, for the first time, that he has a Windex bottle in his hand). Ethan?
    E: I didn’t do it, Dad.

    If I had to guess how many times I’m gonna hear that one in the next 20 years.

    D: Ethan, were you cleaning the tray?
    E: I was cleaning it, Dad.
    K: No, he was trying to poison him.
    D: Babe, he was trying TO CLEAN.
    K: Clearly he didn’t learn that from me. He was trying to poison him. I just know it.
    D: (now laughing) Ethan, you can’t clean your brother’s tray while his food is on it.
    E: Okay, Dad. I clean it later.

    If only he was a fastidious with his ass after he goes to the bathroom.

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    1. Marelle says:

      Yeah, Windex gave me problems years ago. I think I woke up to find Elijah swimming in it as a baby. I’m sorry–I should have warned you earlier. I also thought maybe Elijah was imitating his father . . . since I also don’t clean much. hahahahahaha 🙂 But, I can’t explain the beer bottle. heehee

      December 29th, 2007 at 2:11 pm

    2. Sherry says:

      Thanks for the giggle. 🙂
      So, where DID he get the beer bottle??? lol

      December 29th, 2007 at 6:00 pm

    3. Devan says:

      Amen about the bathroom, sista.

      December 29th, 2007 at 8:27 pm

    4. Eimi says:

      hahaha that is hilarious!!

      December 30th, 2007 at 9:48 am

    5. witchypoo says:

      In all fairness to the young cleaner, he can’t see his own arse.

      December 30th, 2007 at 6:56 pm

    6. Manic Mommy says:

      I’m proud of you; I would be on the phone with poison control while simultaneously pumping his stomach.

      ps – The beer thing happened to mine too. Beer breath on a toddler just screams DSS.

      January 2nd, 2008 at 2:25 pm

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