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    Baby Brewing Bump Contest

    November 14, 2007

    Hello, my Internet. In case you haven’t noticed, I have been relying HEAVILY on you for your clever ideas because I think the last of my good ideas was killed as a result of the toxic fumes of the carpet cleaner. Or maybe it was just the toxic fumes of the pee. Who knows?
    You came up with those great ideas for the travel mugs. Now I need some ideas for maternity shirts. The next one up is “I’ll take my epidural in the parking lot, thank you very much” (thanks, Pache!) but other than that, we got nothing going on over here. Since you all are so clever (and pretty–you know you are pretty!), we are giving away free stuff again in hopes that your brilliance will help jump start my fried brain.

    There will be MULTIPLE WINNERS!!!!

    I, too, am astounded. Up to three people will win a $25 Amazon gift certificate (just in time to buy your self something for the holidays–forget the rest of those people on your list) and something free from Baby Brewing. I say up to three winners because I need three new shirts. If two of your ideas are picked, you get two gift certificates and TWO things from Baby Brewing. Aren’t you just hoping you are REALLY clever?
    There’s more. What if everything sucks and no one wins? I’m positive this could never happen but who knows? To combat that, there will also be a random winner too! The random winner will get a $25 Amazon gift certificate and something free from Baby Brewing. So even if you’ve got nothin’ too, you can still win by entering your lame idea. Each idea will count towards the random drawing. So if you have ten great ideas, you can put them all in one comment and still have 10 chances to win.

    But WAIT!!! There is even more. It boggles the mind. I know. If you BLOG about this contest with a link back to Mommy Needs a Cocktail AND The Baby Brewing Bump Contest, you get yet ANOTHER entry into the random drawing. Just let me know in the comments when you blog about it so I can add your name to the random list.

    OMG, I hope I am not the only person overwhelmed with the excitement and possibilities here. I have to go lie down now to recover. It’s too much. It really is.

    Oh, and you have until next Wednesday night, November 21 at 9:00 p.m. I’ll take a timeout from making Green Bean Supreme to pick the winners.

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    1. courtney says:

      My lovely lame ideas:
      *No Touching
      *It’s All Baby
      *Yes, I do in fact feel as huge as I look
      *Proud Mama

      November 14th, 2007 at 9:30 am

    2. MelissaS says:

      No, I haven’t had the baby yet!
      Due Date: (and sell with fabric marker to fill in)
      Now accepting donations to the Therapy Fund
      I’ll come out when I’m good and ready!

      I could go on, but must get back to work! Thanks for another fun contest 🙂

      November 14th, 2007 at 12:55 pm

    3. Carrie says:

      I always wanted to say this to people when I was pregnant “Pat the stomach. I dare you.”

      November 14th, 2007 at 1:03 pm

    4. Carrie says:

      Actually, it should be “Pat the belly. I dare you.” Not the stomach.

      I have mommy brain today.

      November 14th, 2007 at 1:05 pm

    5. beergirl says:

      While I should be working I LOVE coming up with fun ideas for t-shirts…
      Mine are a bit on the sarcastic side – but that’s half the fun.

      • Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know how this happens!
      • This IS my before picture!
      • Yes, I know who the father is!
      • Keep your hands to yourself…please.
      • Waiting for the test results…
      • Future Jerry Springer guest
      • You’re not half as surprised as I am
      • You’re not half as surprised as the father is
      • Yes, my boobs are bigger…BUT that’s because I’m PREGNANT!
      • Childbirth – seems like a lot of pain for drugs

      I love your contests!! Reading all the funny things that people have to say make my day!!! You’re RIGHT – there are some clever people out there.

      November 14th, 2007 at 1:39 pm

    6. Renae says:

      Baby Bump – The result of a recent hump (or jump)

      No, I didn’t swallow a basketball

      OK, there lame but it’s all I’ve got today

      November 14th, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    7. Jen Zug says:

      “Coming soon to a household near you.”

      “I’m Twittering this.”

      For the dad: “Venture Capitalist for a Stay at Home Blogger”

      “Cocktails got me into this.”

      “On a cocktail sabbatical”

      “Designated Driver”

      November 14th, 2007 at 3:50 pm

    8. Sarah says:

      “I needed more to blog about” or
      “Future blog material”
      “I’m pregnant, what’s your excuse?”
      “Did someone say ice cream?”
      “Can I pat YOUR belly?
      “Got Tums?”
      “I know, they’re fabulous!” across the boobs

      I’m gonna go get another glass of wine…I’ll be back!

      November 14th, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    9. Mark says:

      Your honor student did this!
      I am so over this!
      Got Crackers?
      Look! I’m a Brittany Spears Wanna-be.
      Don’t EVEN think about touching this!
      For this I gave up beer, wine & cocktails?
      Yes I know, I look like a Manatee, so what?
      My bump is smarter than yours!
      Applying now for College in 2026
      Hmmmm soon it will be an Outie!
      Hey it’s an excuse to eat anything I see!
      2 minutes of pleasure = 9 months of this?
      If you look at me, I’ll cry!
      No I don’t want to hear your stories.

      November 14th, 2007 at 6:02 pm

    10. Manic Mommy says:

      Oh God, I’ll have to come back with some later in the meantime, I’m laughing and voting for:

      Jen Zug – Designated Driver
      Renae – Baby Bump – The result of a recent hump (very Dr. Seuss)
      Mark – No I don’t want to hear your story.

      November 14th, 2007 at 6:40 pm

    11. Bellamomma says:

      “Boy or Girl? Nope – it’s a puppy”

      “I’m a Duggar family convert”

      “Mommy needs a potty break”

      “My accountant said I needed more tax deductions”

      “Touch the belly, draw back a bloody nub”

      “Stop staring at the preggy boobs”

      “These are working boobs. Stop staring”

      “Revenge: Forcing my husband to watch the delivery”

      “Well the last episiotomy was so fun, I wanted to do it all over again.”

      “No I’m not pregnant … Ask a stupid question – get a stupid answer.”

      November 14th, 2007 at 7:39 pm

    12. Ellen-Mary says:

      “Are my shoes tied?”

      “You’d be moody too”

      “Not a beer belly”

      “I don’t care how long you were in labor”

      “Touch belly at your own risk”

      November 14th, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    13. witchypoo says:

      “Hosting a parasite for 9 months”
      “I don’t know who the mother is”
      “Being kicked from the inside out”

      November 15th, 2007 at 1:01 am

    14. tvtown says:

      “Get in my belly!”
      “I’m what???”
      “18 years, # months to go”
      “Future t-shirt maker”

      November 15th, 2007 at 4:26 am

    15. Marelle says:

      You actually inspired me to think of this one . . . since you are giving away so much free stuff, I hope to God that you are going to get the biggest tax write-off . . . so what about?

      Another Tax Deduction
      [with a down arrow]


      They said we could get another tax deduction . . .
      so what the hell? [on the back]

      I am cracking myself up!!!!!!!!


      The Daddy is an economist . . .
      He says we are helping the economy.

      Really. Just don’t pay attention me. Love you!

      November 15th, 2007 at 8:10 am

    16. MelissaS says:

      Ok, I have a few more:

      Oops! We did it again!
      No, Really, it’s fun to waddle
      …Because sleep is overrated
      And you thought I was just gaining weight!

      Can’t wait to see all the entries. Thanks again 🙂

      November 15th, 2007 at 11:51 am

    17. witchypoo says:

      “The kids think I ate the baby”

      November 15th, 2007 at 12:35 pm

    18. Sky says:

      It ain’t easy being queazy!


      One for the holidays…

      Christmas at the In-laws without cocktails…Ho Ho oh, forget it!

      November 15th, 2007 at 6:22 pm

    19. Manic Mommy says:

      I’m gestating. What’s your excuse?

      My body was a temple, now it’s a factory.

      My eyes are up there ^

      Nothing says I love you like an epidural.

      They say alcohol’s bad for the baby. What do ‘they’ know anyway?

      November 16th, 2007 at 6:18 pm

    20. Mark says:

      I think I slept through conception, doesn’t everyone?

      I’m in it for the Shower gifts 🙂

      If I painted my stomach gold, would you think I’m Buddha?

      No, if you pat it, you’ll get bad luck.

      I guess I lost the “Hide The Sausage” game.

      If I stand on my head, cam I reverse the process?

      And to think, this bump will decide my nursing home someday.

      November 16th, 2007 at 9:14 pm

    21. Laptop Television Mom says:

      Blog post promoting the contest:

      (“Designated Driver” is a no-brainer!!)

      November 18th, 2007 at 11:12 pm

    22. Sky says:

      I think there should be a shirt for after delivery…

      I love my Anesthesiologist

      Because I love that man. I can’t remember what he looks like, and I’m highly considering hanging his bill on my wall, as it was the best freaking money I’ve ever spent…anywho…I love that man, and think he should get some recognition!

      November 19th, 2007 at 6:31 am

    23. Bella says:

      OMG ~ Sky & I had the same guy!!! LOL

      I’m a lazy heifer who needs to get up off her ass and help a sister out ~ so here you go!

      Hey ~ I got a few more!

      “Ho Ho Ho is what got me into this mess”

      “Eviction Date Pending”

      “No belly button jokes are permitted within a 12 foot radius of this shirt”

      November 19th, 2007 at 9:56 am

    24. John says:

      Pregnancy glow doesn’t come from rubbing the belly.

      Belly touches free with all large college contributions.

      I’ve had enough “touching”, thank you.

      “Its a girl/boy
      Due in ______
      No touching
      Yes they are spectacular
      Any other questions?”

      Pregnancy weight is beautiful!

      An hour glass is so boring!

      Bitter second born on the way.

      Bring on the junk food, this is the second born.

      “Rules of etiquette:
      Underestimate the months along or refrain
      No additional touching
      No stories about long labor
      No second guessing cravings
      Offer all chairs”

      Mt. Whatwasithinking

      Don’t open until ____________

      Waiting until __________ for my next beer.

      100% organic fed baby

      baby on board

      November 19th, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    25. Tara says:

      I have a butt load of children, which means I did not take time to read each of the previous entries/ideas — I am sorry if mine are repetitive. I am not trying to steal good ideas.

      (some of mine are really more for moms af many)

      1.) This is all his fault.
      2.) Yes, this is my __ (3rd, 4th, etc) child – I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
      3.)Don’t ask me if they’re all mine.
      4.) I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat.
      5.) Giving new meaning to full-figured.
      6.) It will all be worth it when its over. Right?
      7.) One glass of wine and this happens.
      8.) I’m not glowing, I’m sweating
      9.)I love watermelon, sometimes I eat them whole.
      10.)Quit looking at me
      11.)Those three minutes were so not worth this
      12.) (for a last born) The grand Finale

      November 19th, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    26. Tara says:

      One More- (speaking from personal experience)

      How else could I go from an A cup to a C cup without spending thousands?

      November 19th, 2007 at 1:30 pm

    27. MelissaS says:

      One last entry:


      ok, lame I know, but it made me smile…

      November 19th, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    28. Mark says:

      The Chump humped me and I got the bump.

      If you sass me I’ll squirt you in the eye!

      No it’s not a pillow!

      Step away from the Twinkies!

      Don’t make me start crying, it won’t be pretty.

      It’s a built in tray table.

      One Krispy Kreme for me, 11 for the bump.

      November 19th, 2007 at 5:41 pm

    29. aBookworm says:

      Yes, I’m having twins. Are you?

      No, I just defeated Homer for the last doughnut.

      Yes, they’re all mine. Thank heavens, you’re not.

      Touch that, and you’re fodder as well.

      I’m part of the Balloon Belly movement.

      No rush. Just hush.

      It’s just a hernia.

      Don’t think. You’ll lose your last remaining brain-cell.

      No, I just ate an elephant. Was that your spouse? Sorry!

      November 20th, 2007 at 9:03 pm

    30. aBookworm says:

      I’ve posted it on my blog as well. Thanks!

      November 20th, 2007 at 9:09 pm

    31. Jennifer/The Word Cellar says:

      Yes, I planned this.

      No, it wasn’t planned.

      This is not a beach ball.

      Tell me again that my skin is glowing.

      My mom warned me that this might happen!

      I told my husband that this could happen!

      A bump in the night gets you a bump in the belly.

      November 20th, 2007 at 9:10 pm

    32. Devan says:

      *With a belly like this who needs a table?*

      *Whatever you do, don’t look at my ankles.*

      *Who needs a waistline?*

      *Plotting my revenge as we speak.*

      *He/She better be cute.*

      Sorry for any repeats! I love the *Designated Driver* suggestion! Can’t wait to see which ones you pick!

      November 20th, 2007 at 10:20 pm

    33. Angela says:

      Oh man Im bad at this..

      mine should have said :
      “yes I was on birth control”
      How about :
      “Dont touch, I bite”


      I’ll blog you in a few at :

      November 21st, 2007 at 10:08 am

    34. Cecilia says:

      I was abducted by aliens and all I got was this. (Insert down arrow)

      Caught ya looking.

      If you have to ask, then you don’t know me well enough for an answer.

      November 21st, 2007 at 2:46 pm

    35. Noreen says:

      Big is beautiful!
      It just keeps getting bigger!
      Give me all your chocolate and I won’t sit on you.
      No, it’s not twins.

      November 21st, 2007 at 7:03 pm

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