Back in the days when my job was at its worst and we were taking a minimum of 2 coffee breaks a day, I used to make threats that one day I would just quit the livelihood and get a job as a barista at the Big Coffee Chain where everyone from the office went to hide/catch some sun outside in the spring. What better revenge than making your boss’s venti mocha latte into a decaf. That’ll teach you for not awarding me Employee of the Year when I had the best year. Go sleep under your desk like the rest of the government employees.
Fast forward 4 years later to today. When, at 6:37 a.m., we got the crazy idea that, on the third day of my friend Danyelle’s coffee shop being open, we needed to drum up a little business for the new biz by running free coffee out to the people stuck on Main Street who were waiting for the train to pass.
A total of 45 seconds. I don’t know what was scarier. A woman coming out of the shadows in the pitch black with free coffee or the fact that I was wearing this.
Boy sold separately.
Because if I were the person in the car driving down Main Street in what appears to be the middle of the night but is actually the morning and then someone came running out of the shadows brandishing what must be an arsenic-laced coffee and similarly poisoned tea cookies, I’d be hitting the power locks and putting a hand on Roscoe. I mean, what kind of crazy person is giving out coffee for Free 99?
And I would have missed out on the best cup of coffee within 30 miles.