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    It’s a Contest with A FREE PRIZE!!!!!!

    September 26, 2007

    Free stuff.  I see your ears perking up, like a black labrador who has suddenly realized that he has the house all to himself and there is a container full of the world’s best cupcakes sitting in the middle of the counter, well within his reach.

    Do you wanna win a gift certificate to Amazon?  All for just being your clever self? 

     Here’s the deal.  I need to come up with a slogan to go beneath the Mommy Needs a Cocktail Girl for the new travel mugs coming soon to Baby Brewing.  Problem?  It probably isn’t a good idea to put the phrase “Mommy Needs a Cocktail” on a travel mug.  What with law enforcement (and the rest of society in general) frowning upon any suggestion of the cocktails/driving combination outside of Hollywood.  So while we all know that we would be responsible enough to be drinking coffee, chai or even hot chocolate in our travel mugs, who really wants to be late dropping The Boy off at preschool because she had to walk the line at 7:55 a.m when the cop caught wind of her 30 point font on the mug? 

    So the Mommy Needs a Cocktail girl located in the banner (or is she the Party Girl Needs a Cocktail?  I’m feeling it may be time to cross the great divide into something a little less “Mommy”–or not) goes on the mug, with your winning pithy statement below her.   We’ll tell the nice law enforcement officer that she has oatmeal in her glass with a blackberry garnish, if he should ask.     

    The deal? 

    The winner gets a $30 Amazon gift certificate, the travel mug and a t-shirt with the winning design.  Wow!  Amazing, huh?  But wait, there’s more…

    Two runners-up will get the travel mug and the shirt.

    One person will have his or her name picked randomly (names will go in The Boy’s construction hat) by The Baby (whichever name he eats is our winner) and that person will win the travel mug and a shirt.  We’ll try to read your name off the paper on the way down rather than waiting until it comes out the other end of The Baby.  Every suggestion you make in the comments below is an entry toward the random drawing.  You can put all your suggestions in one comment.  So you don’t even have to be clever and you can still win.  I love this already…. 

    The winner will be chosen on Friday, September 28, 2007.  Have your ideas in before noon, EST. 

     P.S.  “Mommy Needs Coffee?” Our dear friend Java Jen has cornered the market on that one.  Damn, she’s good. 

    If I use your saying at a later date for a shirt, you’ll get one free.  I’ll email you and let you know.  It’s like having your own personal screen printer, without having to order a minimum of 40 shirts. 

    Now go be creative.

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    1. Mir says:

      “It’s quieter than primal scream therapy!”

      “What? The doctor told me to stay hydrated.”

      “Olives are optional, but a sense of humor is not.”

      “Mom cannot live by sandwich crusts alone.”

      “Fill ‘er up!”

      “And how was your day?”

      September 26th, 2007 at 11:39 am

    2. Morgaine says:

      “Hey! It’s 5:00 (or insert your own socially appropriate time for drinking) somewhere!”

      or, since it is on a vessel for coffee

      “Socially Responsible: Even though it’s 5:00 (again with the time) somewhere!”

      and…I love your blog 😉 And Mir’s who’s comment is right above mine!


      September 26th, 2007 at 12:00 pm

    3. Lizzy says:

      How can we compete with Mir’s clever quips above?

      I would’ve just said:

      “Mommy can’t have a cocktail…at 8:00am”


      “It’s not quite cocktail hour, is it?”

      September 26th, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    4. Amy says:

      Tom’s suggestion was a new line of collection jars with a slogan of “Mommy needs a new headlight.”

      Also his (for the travel mug): “Dropping the kids at school never tasted so good.”

      “Don’t talk to me unless I’ve had this much.” (with a demarcation line on it somewhere)

      “Beltway schmeltway.”

      “Who needs gasoline?”

      “Nuclear fallout occurs t-minus 1 minute after empty.” (with a nuclear symbol or fallout shelter sign)

      “F*!@ Starbucks.”

      From me: “If coffee were a drug I’d have three strikes and then some.”

      “Portable sanity.”

      “Would you like coffee with your smartass?” (smartass, attitude, dysfunction, any number of things)

      “I got your taster’s choice right here.”

      “Filled to the rim with non-fat, no-whip, no-foam venti goodness.”

      “Ever wonder what makes Diego go?”

      September 26th, 2007 at 12:21 pm

    5. beergirl says:

      “Preventing Child Abuse…
      …One sip at a time”

      p.s. I’ve been lurking for over a year. THIS brought me out of the shadows!! Love your blog!!! Even though I’m not a mom, I go on everyday to get a good laugh to help me make it through. AND all my friends with children or expecting children now know who you are…guess they’re lurking too.

      September 26th, 2007 at 12:24 pm

    6. Devan says:

      Maybe a little too I’m-a-drug-addict methinks, but…

      “Mommy Needs a Fix”
      “Mommy’s Little Helper” (obvious)

      How about…

      “Mommy needs this…now”
      “Time for a refill”
      “Dangerous when empty”
      “Do not let contents fall below this line.” (with line)
      “If only this mug were self-cleaning.”

      Love Amy’s “Don’t talk to me unless I’ve had this much!” (with line) and love, love “Portable sanity.”

      Maybe “Liquid sanity.”

      Love the blog!

      September 26th, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    7. Jen Zug says:

      “Coffee: The Liquid Breakfast”

      “Triple Shot Latte: A Woman’s Morning Cocktail”

      “Travel Mug: The Mom’s Sippy Cup”

      “My Other Mug is a Cocktail Glass” (My personal favorite)

      “Pacifying Myself Until the Cocktail Hour”

      September 26th, 2007 at 1:53 pm

    8. Jean says:

      Here’s my lame attempt. Atleast I’m throwing my name in the hat. Mom’s Need Sippy Cups Too!

      September 26th, 2007 at 1:55 pm

    9. Jen Zug says:

      “Best When Hot and Steamy”

      Okay, that may be a little over the top.

      September 26th, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    10. Jen Zug says:

      “My other drink is a martini”

      (That one’s Bryan’s contribution)

      September 26th, 2007 at 2:11 pm

    11. Mark says:

      Coffee makes me Poop.

      September 26th, 2007 at 3:07 pm

    12. Mark says:

      Me? You should see what the other guy looks like this morning.

      And you thought all it took was tights and a cape?

      Yeah, it beats morning breath.

      Does the Pope order a triple grande super tall non-latte?

      WWMNACD? (What Would Mommy Need you get the picture :-)

      Free the Boy! Buy this Mug!

      Bad Dog! Drop That Right NOW!

      If this is upside down, tip me over, please.

      Wort are you drinking?

      And you thought my passport photo was bad!

      September 26th, 2007 at 3:15 pm

    13. carolyn says:

      “Why, yes, officer, that is coffee in my travel mug!”

      Mommy’s gotta drink….coffee

      Coffee, tea, or mommy

      September 26th, 2007 at 4:39 pm

    14. morgan says:

      “This coffee needs some whiskey.”

      “I wish this was a cocktail.”

      September 26th, 2007 at 8:42 pm

    15. Bellamomma says:

      Mommy Needs A Latte (ok maybe that’s a little obvious!)

      Mother’s Milk

      Mommy’s Wake Up Call

      Mommy Needs a Percolator

      I’m dreaming of an ocean vacation. Don’t wake me.

      (Love the blog!!)

      September 26th, 2007 at 10:06 pm

    16. brandy w says:

      baby kept me up all night….i need a boost.

      these kids make me want to drink.

      beautiful, i’d be ugly without my coffee

      mommy needs a break… coffee break

      September 27th, 2007 at 4:43 am

    17. Devan says:

      Thought of another one…

      “Mommy’s other little helper.”

      Okay, I’m done. 😉

      September 27th, 2007 at 6:09 am

    18. kidzmama says:

      Mommy’s Down Time

      You Need One Too

      Hot Mommy


      Keeping It Real

      September 27th, 2007 at 6:22 am

    19. John says:

      Filled with Mommy’s Needs

      Mommy’s sleep substitute

      Chatterbox fuel

      A morning without coffee is sleep

      Morning personality enhancer

      Coffee: the renewable fuel

      Anitoxidant Detoxiant Stimulant

      September 27th, 2007 at 8:19 am

    20. kate says:

      “Mommy needs a xanax”

      September 27th, 2007 at 8:32 am

    21. kate says:

      “Cocktails are what got Mommy into this mess.”

      September 27th, 2007 at 8:35 am

    22. Marelle says:

      Unfortunately, I have to settle for coffee.

      September 27th, 2007 at 9:21 am

    23. Marelle says:

      Coffee . . . my morning cocktail.

      September 27th, 2007 at 9:21 am

    24. Marelle says:

      I swear it’s coffee!

      September 27th, 2007 at 9:24 am

    25. Marelle says:

      Unfortunately, the vodka is under lock and key.

      Now, that is funny!!! hahahahaha

      September 27th, 2007 at 9:31 am

    26. kidzmama says:

      See Mommy Smile

      Mommy’s Special Brew

      September 27th, 2007 at 9:57 am

    27. Sandra says:

      It might be a bit long but…

      “I’m pretending this is a martini”

      BTW love your blog.

      September 27th, 2007 at 10:33 am

    28. Mark says:

      Are you kidding me?
      You try doing this job with just one mug!

      Drink More! Support Our Legal Team.

      Even with this mug in my hand, I could still kick your butt.

      September 27th, 2007 at 11:37 am

    29. Heidi says:

      Starting the morning off right

      September 27th, 2007 at 1:08 pm

    30. Heidi says:

      What’s in your coffee!?

      September 27th, 2007 at 1:09 pm

    31. Heidi says:

      Coffee, helping moms deal!

      September 27th, 2007 at 1:10 pm

    32. Heidi says:

      Size does matter

      September 27th, 2007 at 1:10 pm

    33. Heidi says:

      morning happy hour

      September 27th, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    34. Heidi says:

      That’s all I can think of besides a personal one to me. I talk super fast and when I drink coffee I go into mock ten. My dh forbids me to have more than 1 cup of coffee cause he can’t understand me anymore. So for me it would have to say.

      Know your limit.
      Drink responsibly
      Caution, hyperactivity pending.

      Can’t wait to see what everyone comes up with.

      September 27th, 2007 at 1:14 pm

    35. kelli says:


      “I’ve had it up to here.”

      “I never have a second cup at home…”

      “Driven to drink (coffee)”


      September 27th, 2007 at 4:42 pm

    36. Mark says:

      I traded a “Life” for this?

      If this was a movie, a STAR would be playing me.

      Sit down, strap in and shut up.

      Don’t look at me, don’t talk to me and don’t breathe on me unti I get my coffee! AND THAT MEANS YOU!

      September 27th, 2007 at 4:58 pm

    37. Midwest Girl says:

      “You have a good day at work too, dear!”

      “Cheaper than retail therapy”

      “Bartend– I mean, Barista!”

      “Caffeine- Health benefits for me & you (trust me)”

      September 27th, 2007 at 6:52 pm

    38. AR says:

      “Got caffeine (or maybe something better)?”

      September 27th, 2007 at 6:54 pm

    39. naomi says:

      no sugar added

      September 27th, 2007 at 7:11 pm

    40. Ellen-Mary says:

      “Mommy needs a refill”

      “Coffee on board”

      “Mommy needs a donut”
      (you know, to go with the coffee)

      September 27th, 2007 at 7:49 pm

    41. Trena says:

      “Saving Mother’s sanity since (whenever Baby brewing started”

      “It’s either this or give in to the voices”

      “Coffee in the AM. Liquor for the afternoon playdate.”

      Most likely all lame…arrggghhh…still thinking….

      September 27th, 2007 at 8:34 pm

    42. Cathy says:

      It is too late – and I am laughing too hard at all the other suggestions.

      “Baby brewed. Mommy needs a drink”

      I love the liquid sanity one….

      “Drinking for two – the kid needs me awake”

      “Drinking for two – the kid needs me sober ;)”

      September 27th, 2007 at 11:27 pm

    43. tvtown says:

      Juan Valdez is my secret latin lover.

      Who’s stomach do I need to pump to get a refill?!?

      Chock Full o’ Shut the Hell Up!

      I’m naturally this perky.

      Warning: May cause stress and irritability…oh wait, that’s the kids.

      You can take my coffee cup…when you pry it from my cold dead hands.

      Without this I go postal (hahahhahahaha…sorry…I can’t resist the postal jokes)

      C ontains
      O nly
      F resh
      F lavorful
      E nergy
      E lixir

      Don’t leave home without it.

      Nucking Futs!!! (courtesy jibjab)

      Save yourself…it’s too late for me!!!

      OK, I’ve successfully neglected the 5am show long enough…I really should get back to directing.

      September 28th, 2007 at 1:30 am

    44. LM says:

      “At last!”

      September 28th, 2007 at 4:01 am

    45. Manic Mommy says:

      “Shhh. Mommy’s Drinking.”

      “Not until after Mommy finishes her Coffee”

      “Got Caffeine?”

      “Cause the kids aren’t stimulating enough.”

      This was fun. Loved the other submissions!

      September 28th, 2007 at 6:12 am

    46. Jen says:

      Mommy needs a cocktail:
      It’s cheaper than therapy

      Mommy needs a cocktail:
      ’cause baby don’t sleep

      Mommy needs a cocktail:
      It’s 5 o’clock somewhere

      mommy needs a cocktail:
      It’s tea time!

      September 28th, 2007 at 6:39 am

    47. MelissaS says:

      What fun!

      “Mommy’s Sippy Cup”
      “Mommy’s Happy Juice”
      “Don’t talk to me until this mug is empty”
      “Drink two of these and call me for a playdate”
      “Magic Mood Elixir”

      can’t wait to see the results!

      September 28th, 2007 at 6:54 am

    48. Marisa says:

      – This is how mommy stays happy during the day

      – guess what’s in mommy cup?!

      -I’m only smiling because you have no idea what’s in my cup

      September 28th, 2007 at 7:17 am

    49. Jessica N. says:

      And make it a stiff one!

      For better or worse

      To prepare for the next day

      My sponsor met my kids and told me to have one

      A drink a day will keep the chaos away (well at least for an hour)

      September 28th, 2007 at 7:25 am

    50. Marelle says:

      “It’s either this or give in to the voices”

      I like this one, Trena!

      September 28th, 2007 at 7:32 am

    51. B says:

      “Mommy WISHES this was a Cocktail!”

      September 28th, 2007 at 7:34 am

    52. B says:

      Good luck choosing. There are so many great options!

      I really love “preventing child abuse…one sip at a time”

      September 28th, 2007 at 7:39 am

    53. dandysound says:

      Coffee, yoga, bubble baths, medication and I still want to slap someone. (or put someone in time out or whatever).

      Ok, that might be harsh!

      September 28th, 2007 at 11:02 am

    54. dandysound says:

      Mommy needs her beans

      September 28th, 2007 at 11:04 am

    55. Cathy says:

      I am reading through more of these – there are too many good ones to pick from!!

      September 28th, 2007 at 11:41 am

    56. Rachelle says:

      How about…

      “It’s happy hour somewhere.”

      or there’s the classic

      “Mommy’s Little Helper.” (I’m pretty sure that used to refer to uppers….)

      :-) Rachelle

      September 28th, 2007 at 9:10 pm

    57. Paul-Erik Madsen says:

      Mug, mug

      Mommy need’s it

      A sip in time

      September 29th, 2007 at 2:20 pm

    58. Nikki says:

      wow, tough decision…they are all great:)!

      September 30th, 2007 at 4:58 am

    59. Anne Woida says:

      “Mommy’s little pick me up”

      April 14th, 2008 at 2:48 pm

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