K: OK, I’ll let you come into my messy house as long as you don’t look around.
The Neighbor: PLEASE!!!
K: No housekeepers over here.
You read that right. HousekeeperS. She glared at me.
The Neighbor: Have you guys been making beef jerky over here?
The Neighbor: Cause it smells like beef jerky.
Of all the smells my house has suffered under accusations, the “beef jerky” suggestion was a first. Only moments before, she was, by far, my favorite new neighbor. The jury has now gone back out, in case you were wondering….
All I’m gonna say is, a 6 pack of beer and a 6 pack of cupcakes had better miraculously appear on my front porch very soon.