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    Dog For Sale. Oh, who am I kidding? Free Dog to Anyone who will take him

    August 27, 2007

    This morning I got up to make hash for breakfast.  I can barely abide more than five bites of beef for dinner, but fry it up with diced potatoes, onion, garlic, a little bacon and leftover roasted peppers and “BAM!”  You’ve got the breakfast of champions. 

    I opened the fridge door and peered in.

    K:  Have you seen those two ribeyes leftover from dinner the other night?
    The Husband:  They were in the fridge.
    K:  Can you look?  Because maybe I’m just not seeing them. 
    The Husband:  (searching oh so methodically)  Nope.  Maybe they are in the other fridge?
    K:  I specifically remember putting them in the fridge after I cooked hash for breakfast yesterday.
    The Husband:  Maybe Zinni got them.  Are you sure you put them in the fridge?
    K:  $16 worth of meat?  Ah, YEAH.  I made a point to put it in the fridge immediately because we know how The Dog can be.
    The Husband:  (working his way down the guilt chain, yelling to The Boy in the other room)  Did you take the meat out of the fridge?
    The Boy:  Yes. 
    The Husband:  Where did you put it?
    The Boy:  By the coffee maker on the counter.

    You have GOT to be kidding me. Yeah, there was some vague conversation yesterday when I was on the computer about him being hungry and some vague behavior regarding the fridge, but really? Either The Dog got an opposing thumb and opened the fridge himself or he had an accomplice.

    There was one large ziploc bag on the floor in the kitchen yesterday. Since there were no signs of forced entry upon the bag, The Husband said he just picked it up and put in the trash. He said he thought that it had fallen out of the trash.

    The Dog hasn’t eaten any dog food in two days.

    I guess it’s safe to say my investigation is now closed. And a lock is going on the fridge today. Now I have to go eat my diced potatoes and onions.

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    1. nancy says:

      Oh, dude, I soooo understand. Last night the dog peed on the carpet. As if that wasn’t enough, today, while Husband is out of town, and it is just me and an 18 month old girl … the dog rolled in some dead shit and stinks like, well, dead shit.

      And did I mention she is afraid of water and it takes two of us working HARD to get her in the bath? Not likely to happen with just me and a toddler. The Dog might me spending the night in the garage.

      Let me know if I can mail her to you.

      August 27th, 2007 at 2:27 pm

    2. Manic Mommy says:

      The other side of this coin is my two-year-old. All kids try dog food. The four-year-old tried it, decided he didn’t like it and moved on. The two-year-old has a real taste for it. Any time it’s on the floor, he’s digging in.

      Needless to say, the dog now goes for LOOOONG periods without any food or water because I’ve left it on the counter, out of RC’s clutches.

      August 27th, 2007 at 5:49 pm

    3. InterstellarLass says:

      Oh dear. I don’t think I could afford that dog! Thankfully my boy feeds the dog JUST dog food.

      August 27th, 2007 at 8:42 pm

    4. Loralee says:

      My son is allergic to dogs and so we have one very slutty kitty.

      I think this will be our last pet.

      I have decided I don’t have enough love for animal-kind.

      August 27th, 2007 at 10:04 pm

    5. tvtown says:

      Between the baby and my two beagles, I don’t think my house could stand any more nasty farts. One more steak-eating dog and the paint will start to peel and that might just be the last straw with child services.

      August 28th, 2007 at 3:10 am

    6. Occidental Girl says:

      Ohhhhh man! I hate it when I have a craving for something that I knew we have, and then I find it’s gone!

      August 28th, 2007 at 11:36 am

    7. Meg says:

      My dog ate an entire, just-off-the-grill flank steak off of the neighbors’ countertop. They were doing us the favor of dogsitting; our ingested dinner for 4 adults and 5 children. Damn canines… whose idea was it to get him anyway?

      Would you kindly share your hash recipe? That sounds delish.

      August 29th, 2007 at 8:08 am

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