Excuse our appearance. The new look is coming soon but I just couldn’t not blog another day. Now back to our 10 things…
1. The incessant flushing after each and every contribution to the bowl. I know I said it could be your treat but even at only 1.6 gallons a flush, those 137 flushes a day could do the ol’ septic in. And nobody wants that.
2. Using the hand towel as toilet paper. Because the baby wipes, grown up wipes and toilet paper are just not enough. Clearly they are not enough as evidenced by nice streak down the hand towel. Still hanging from the rack.
3. Continual fondling of your manhood. So it was my mistake to do the “naked potty training method.” Could you just do that in your own room? Or at least not in the kitchen right before you start running around opening all the cabinets with the hands involved in #2 above.
4. Caressing the lav. I know you are on there for a while, but what is the actual allure to rubbing your hands along the seat, bowl, tank? I really want to know. Whoever invented Clorox Wipes deserves a Nobel peace prize because those wipes are the only thing standing between me and all out war over here.
5. The necessity for using the entire bottle of antibacterial soap after every visit. In retrospect and after re-reading the above, perhaps this isn’t such a problem.
6. Wiping your face with the hand towel after you dry your hands off. The hand washing after the potty is different from the hand/face washing after lunch. Take my word on this one.
7. Those damn people over at Dora who made the potty seats to go on top of the toilet seat. Now we can clean two toilet seats instead of one every 7 minutes. Don’t worry. We’re all getting the tongue-in-cheek of the printed “Vamonos” on the seat. “Let’s go,” my ass.
8. The crooked bookshelf in my kitchen. I realize this is a little off topic but with $87,965 worth of tools in our new garage, the man couldn’t find a level? So I’m now going to have to look at this crooked shelf for the next 20 years? I’m not even a picky person. I could live with a little lean. But this bad boy is leaning so much it’s bound to become a slide option for our children in a few years.
9. The problem of starting to pee in order to realize you need to pee rather than, I don’t know, just going to the bathroom to pee every once in a while. That’s what most of us do. I know you gotta learn somehow, someway, but do the people at Bissell really need a large portion of your college fund in order to pay for those huge bottles of carpet cleaner?
10. Naked bike riding, naked car driving, naked train playing, naked couch sitting. OK, all things naked. If I didn’t have such a fear of doing the laundry or any other household requirement, I would just put those little Underoos on you all day, switching them out every seven minutes.
I’m just saying I thought potty training would be a lot less annoying.