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    Update: Potty Training, aka Signs that The Boy May One Day Enter a Nudist Colony

    June 19, 2007

    As seen on

    training–v.   tr.

    1. To coach in or accustom to a mode of behavior or performance.
    2. To make proficient with specialized instruction and practice. See Synonyms at teach.
    3. To prepare physically, as with a regimen: train athletes for track-and-field competition.
    4. To cause (a plant or one’s hair) to take a desired course or shape, as by manipulating.
    5. To focus on or aim at (a goal, mark, or target); direct. See Synonyms at aim.
    6. To let drag behind; trail.  

    As, is the case in number 6, I find myself training.

    So, after listening to all the advice,  I decided to go with that new-fangled training method of taking your child’s diaper off and hoping against all hope that you don’t find puddles all over the house.  I thought this was a good idea now rather than before moving because I now have 95% carpet as opposed to the 95% oh-so-easy-to-clean-hardwood floors at the old house.   Let me say, it has been slightly disconcerting to the army of workers attempting to put Humpty Dumpty back together again over here at the Money Pit and now the neighbors are POSITIVE we are white trash sent to bring the ‘hood down, but whatever.

    Can I just say it’s working like a charm?  Except for the incident where he held it in for 3 hours until he could get onto the front porch to, and I quote “see the pee on the front porch, Mama.”  There was a couple of incidents of taking a dump in the yard (“EEEETHAN!!!!  WHO GOES TO THE BATHROOM OUTSIDE????  E:  Zinni, Mama…..see, Mama, I go poop”) right by the driveway.  I mean, I have 3.3312 acres now so it seems logical to poop DIRECTLY BESIDE THE DRIVEWAY. 

    Other than that, the only downside is that now I can’t get clothes back on him. 


    If you feel like you just can’t hear it in your hear it in your head, imagine “no” in lieu of “GOAL.”  That’s about right. 

    “Oh, just put the clothes on him.  You Parents These Days.”  That’s what you are saying, right?

    Come on over and show me how it’s done.  I gotta go.  Naked Bike Rider is doing the laps in the house.  Maybe I can head him off at the pass.

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    1. Karen says:

      I was very frustrated as well with potty training. When I was researching potty training a common theme seemed to be praise and positive reinforcement. I came across a website called We hung it in the kitchen and named the little boy on the front of the package, Bobby. My son could not wait to go to the potty so he could push the button, hear the praising message, and get his chocolate reward from, Bobby. It really got my son excited about using the potty himself and it was fun for him. Because he became so involved, potty training was easy. So give it a try. Good Luck!

      June 19th, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    2. tvtown says:

      little known definition:
      training -v : Barreling headlong like a freight train without will nor way to slow down or stop.
      I will NOT be trying this method with little girl…there will be no nude beaches or baby stripper poles in this house.
      Peeing outside is a guy’s birthright…he’s just expressing it! Pooping by the driveway though…my dogs even have the decency to go in the corner of the yard.

      June 19th, 2007 at 6:27 pm

    3. InterstellarLass says:

      Oh dear. He pooped in the yard? I’m sorry, but I’m about to wet myself! See, I’ve regressed now too.

      July 3rd, 2007 at 5:49 am

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