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    other than having no key to the door, no internet access, no phone, nearly non-existent cell service, black gunk coming out of the jets in the bathtub and no hot water

    May 30, 2007

    it’s a lovely house.

    Funny thing about foreclosure houses, the owners can kinda see it coming (what with not paying the bills and all)so they do crazy things like eat dinner directly off the carpet.  Electric blue carpet.  it’s hot in an ’80’s kinda way.

    After 5 hours on the cell phone over the last week, i have come to the realization that Com-effing-castic was the way to go.  Verizon has made me do crazy things like throw a wet diaper at my son and stick my entire head in a sink full of cold water in order to keep myself from throwing myself off that lovely deck I have now.  Clever folks over there at Verizon, they realize that 5 hours of overage charges on your cell phone to try to get residential service is brilliant.  If they can also make you go into the crawl space to check your phone line, less work for them. 

    on the child front, The Boy has killed the new vacuum, new carpet cleaner, the phone (which i guess doesn’t matter if i don’t have a functioning phone line anyway), spilled a 44 oz. bag of coffee beans on the kitchen floor, lost the other phone, taken all my credit cards and hidden them and sat on the baby’s head.  And that was just today. 

    i’ll be auctioning him off on E-bay later.  Or just hanging a sign around his neck that says ‘free to a good home’ and plop him in front of the house.

    Just a little note to my neighbors:  there is no two-sided glass in front of our house.  When you stop your car in front and blatantly stare at us, WE CAN SEE YOU.  If you are going to stare, you should at least throw us some food.  Sometimes it’s okay to feed the bears.

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    If you are going to try to Top Secretly pee in the shower when someone else is in the bathroom, it’s best to have passed on the asparagus at dinner

    May 22, 2007

    Enough said.

    Back to packing…

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    In case you were wondering about the progress of our Less Spirited Child

    May 21, 2007

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    We aren’t exactly sure what made him open his mouth for the picture

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    Despite cracking the screen of my brand new laptop, spending 3 hours in the ER getting The Boy 4 stitches and Derek drinking Lemon-Lime vinegar in the midst of trying to pack an entire house…

    I’d have to say it was a pretty uneventful weekend.  How was yours?

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    Please send sugar packets

    May 18, 2007

    It will be refreshing for all of you to hear that my whining is getting on my last nerve too.  I’m officially on sabbatical from whining and complaining.

    Septic tank has to be dug up and the bank won’t even let us do it before closing to make sure that someone else’s crap isn’t backing up on us the first time we flush?  Who cares?  Multiple hornet’s nests in the attic when husband was at the home inspection?  It’s not like he got stung and died.  Ancient heat pumps that don’t function?  It’s summer, for heaven’s sake.  The lawn was mowed with a weed eater?  Jagged grass is the new fresh cut lawn.  Old rusty treadmill still on the back porch?  We’re all up to date on our tetanus shots.  Closing pushed back to 5 p.m. so now we won’t be in the house before 7 and have to get everything ready for all the work already scheduled for 7 a.m. Friday morning?  I LOVE all-nighters.

    Lourdes came yesterday and packed up the kitchen for me.  I left some things to the side and told her that Derek would show up at her house if the coffee maker got packed by accident.  It seems that I forgot to put the sugar aside.  And with Lourdes around, we are lucky she didn’t pull up the vinyl and pack it.  Talk about “everything goes.”  So this morning it was coffee sans sugar.  It’s probably better for me, right? 

    Let’s dwell on the positives.  My mom is coming on Thursday to save the day.  I am painting my laundry room “midnight blue” since I didn’t buy the midnight blue washer/dryer set.  I have a brand new carpet cleaner that costs less than it would for a professional to clean one room (and I get to keep it) and despite the fact that my new house is leaking like a sieve, it’s going to be MY leaking sieve in just one week.  So after I dry my tears from my temporary nervous breakdown, I’m off to pack another box.  ‘Cause that’s how you do it.

    One box at a time…

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