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    Art Class for Boo

    March 30, 2006

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    A day at the zoo feels like a day at the circus

    Our zoo is notorious for having to put animals to sleep or just killing them by letting them eat rat poisoning that someone forgot to put away. Frankly, it’s embarrassing. It is a zoo. It’s not like it’s a brand new idea. I mean, they aren’t killing the animals in the San Diego Zoo. The animals actually seem happy there. No, I’m not kidding. I have a picture of a bear with a smile on his face. But maybe that’s just all that good weather in So. Cal. I don’t know.

    So yesterday I took the boy to the zoo. His father thought that maybe all of his crying lately had to do with depression and lack of playdates. I swear on a Bible. Those very words came out of his mouth. Rather than put the kid on Zoloft, I decided to expose him to wild animals. Our very first exhibit was one that truly expresses the care and concern shown to animals at our zoo.

    There was a kangaroo, lying on his side, rapidly breathing.

    “What’s wrong with that kangaroo, Mommy?”

    Mommy was stunned. I guess she hadn’t anticipated a conversation with her 5-year-old at the zoo about long-term care, assisted living, Alzheimer’s and death. I decided to HASU–Hook A Sister Up.

    “The kangaroo is taking a nap. It’s his naptime. Isn’t he a good napper?”

    Mommy (and the other 7 parents) looked grateful. Apparently the Wisconsonites had not heard about our less-than-stellar zoo mortality rate. The zoo had a sign posted by the hyperventilating kangaroo stating that they were keeping Roo as comfortable as possible. I’m thinking it’s time to up Roo’s morphine. That wasn’t looking too comfortable.s

    All I’m saying is that if you can’t do a job right, don’t do it at all. The animals deserve far better.

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    Pizza and Ice Cream–we call this the Double Word Score of lunch

    March 29, 2006

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    A successful day at the zoo

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    Wow. Elephants don’t look like that on TV

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    Socks, but no shoes. That’s progress, right?

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