My sister always has her kids tell her their “high point” and “low point” of their day. Something about promoting their emotional knowledge at a young age. So here are mine for yesterday. I have several of each.
Getting a Job. YIPPEE for me. I’ll be an overpaid government contractor writing investigative policy for a small quasi-federal agency. It is only a small step on my way to total world domination.
I’m not quite sure how to write anything without using the word “poop” now. Oh dear.
To date, the biggest poop bomb ever. After sitting quietly in his car seat during lunch at Mark’s Kitchen, I decided to spring the Boo Boo Kitty from his nest. Except he sprung on me. I had to change his diaper in the trunk of the car. There he was standing in the trunk, buck-naked, with poop which extended up to his ears. After 17 wipes, at least he didn’t smell God-awful, but who was I kidding? He was standing in the trunk and I was wiping with one hand and gripping him under the armpit with my other hand. Realizing that my hold on him was precarious at best, he decided to trot out onto the bumper. There he was walking up and down the bumper of the sedan. I was throwing the wipes on the ground because there was no place to put them at the instant time. Of course, I was in the People’s Republic of Maryland and people were glaring at me like I had just poisoned a tree full of squirrels for fun. I was gonna pick them up when I was done. Geesh. I then tried to lay him down to put on his diaper and he started to knaw on the trunk latch, which is the cleanest part of the car, I’m sure. He was rolling his naked ass around, all over the binders that I am supposed to review for my high paying contract job. I hope he didn’t leave any butt-prints on the Quality Standards for Investigations manual.
I was walking out of the quasi-government building yesterday while talking smack to my husband about how I was going to make money when I felt the eery sense that I was being watched. I looked down but there was no toilet paper sticking out of my pants or stuck under my shoe. I looked up to see two HOTTIES in suits TOTALLY CHECKING ME OUT!!!!!! After 16 months of being totally ignored, I SHRIEKED and got into the car. It was a high point of my adult life. Imagine if I had my jacket off and they saw my rack?? Derek found this very entertaining as I recounted it live.
Laying down to take a nap and having E rip off one of my favorite necklaces and then eating my cell phone as I pretended to sleep in hopes that he would give up and go to sleep. He proceeded to crawl back and forth over me until 3 minutes before it was time to get up. Then he closed his eyes and went to sleep.
Suprising Mada at the end of her second day of 1st grade by putting E in the bag for the Pack’n’Play so she could unzip it and find the surprise. It wasn’t quite a surprise when E realized that there was a huge hole in the bag for the handle and he got both arms out of the bag and was waving them. What kind of people put an infant in a canvas bag to cheer up a 7 year-old?