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    You know you are a bad dog owner when…

    April 27, 2005

    There was a little incident with Zinni yesterday for which I am probably going to Dog Owner’s Hell.

    We
    had to take an unexpected 1 1/2 hour car ride yesterday and in order
    for ALL of us to go, we had to take the sedan. Derek wasn’t giving his
    seat up beside the baby and Ethan was in the middle of the seat. The
    other side of the car seat is very small.

    You got it. Zinni got to sit in the front seat beside me.

    So
    he is moaning and groaning and turning around and around to get
    comfortable. The day was a gorgeous 70 degrees and grant it, he was in
    the sun but it wasn’t so bad, even for a black dog. All the while I am
    CHEWING his ass out because I will not be mouthed off to by a DOG, for
    God’s sake.

    Derek was laughing in the back seat, and I was
    getting more and more bitter. He was probably right. I should have
    gotten the Volvo station wagon and then Zinni could have had his own
    spot. I just couldn’t do it. To me, getting a station wagon would be
    the equivalent to sending up the white flag.

    In his squirming, Zinni pushed the button that released the headrests in the back seat.

    BAM!! Poor Derek.

    In my ranting, I looked down and there it was highlighted. Zinni’s seat warmer was on High.

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    April 25, 2005


    Cookie and E on the steps at Gram’s house (Pop is rolling in his grave if he can see this lawn) Posted by Hello

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    Some parking spots have better views than others (Lancaster, PA 4/24/2005) Posted by Hello

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    Marmie made me wear this coat Posted by Hello

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    WTF is up with the Farmer in the Dell?

    April 23, 2005

    You know all those other posts where people are deep thinkers? Not so much here.

    The Farmer in the dell has
    been bugging me now for 72 hours. After catching myself humming Led
    Zeppelin to quiet the baby down, I thought perhaps I should use “age
    appropriate” music. You know, get into the groove of this whole baby
    crap.

    I’m not sure where it came from (the depths of hell in
    retrospect) but I began singing the Farmer in the Dell to Ethan the
    other day. I didn’t quite get through the first line before I became
    disturbed.

    “The farmer takes A wife.”

    Where is he taking her? Matuba for her favorite Millenium Rolls or Spicy Toro Rolls?
    Citronelle
    for the Chocolate Three Ways? Paris, because she has been so nice and
    gave him such the sweet baby that he always, always wanted?

    And
    is the taking necessarily of HIS wife? It just says “a wife.” Does he
    get to shop around all the area wives, looking for the one that won’t
    talk back or take the credit cards out of his wallet and cut them up?
    (ten bucks says at least one reader is, right now, frantically reaching
    for his wallet in his front pocket and scanning its contents)

    How
    about the child picking the nurse? Who would trust their kid to pick
    his childcare provider? “You, you with the bottle. You look good
    enough.”

    And last, but certainly not least…

    “The cheese
    stands alone.” What does THAT mean? Other than that you were the last
    asshole to be picked in this stupid game where the popular kids get to
    be people, the less popular kids get to be animals and the unpopular
    kids are food products. This is what I think of when I hear “the cheese stands alone.”

    I
    wish I had a click-the-button system like they have on Outlook so
    everyone could weigh in on which line is the worst? Having to choose
    would be tough though.

    Derek and I had a long discussion (longer than 2 minutes, which is a long conversation for me these days).
    But here it is. The comment of the hour….drum roll please….

    DT–Why can’t the farmer take a wife AND the nurse? Then he can have that menage a trois he has always wanted.

    Way to take a really disturbing song and throw it right off the cliff there, big guy.

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    My work here is done

    I woke up in the middle of the night to Derek putting the comforter back on the bed because he was cold.

    As
    I opened my eyes, I could see him staring intently at the comforter
    before putting it on, trying to make sure that the bamboo stems were
    facing the bottom of the bed and the leaves were facing the top of the bed.

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